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Old 09-26-2010, 05:07 PM   #16  
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I don't really have any words of advice/wisdom--just wanted to say that I'm sorry weekends have been such a struggle, and I hope you can eventually find enough balance that you won't want to binge.
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Old 09-26-2010, 06:24 PM   #17  
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I really don't mean to go off topic, but RockinRobin, what hot chocolate are u drinking that is 20 calories per cup??? I love my hot chocolate, and the one I am now using is like 110 calories per cup. Please let me know if you would be so kind.

And ncuneo, I am in the same boat, so thank you for posting this thread. I am having the same difficulties with going over calories at night. It never occurred to me, like rockinrobin said to find a replacement to do instead of eating. This is something I need to focus on myself. So thanks Robin!
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Old 09-26-2010, 06:50 PM   #18  
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You seem to be contradicting yourself a little bit, and I dont say that to be rude....but merely to point out you may not quite be thinking completely clearly about the subject

One - this isnt the end of the world. There will be no point in anyone's journey that they are issue free. There isnt an endpoint. There will be bumps, this is one. You identified it. Good job! And you are trying to figure out the issue and stop it. Also good job! Be a little more self compassionate, you are doing amazing. Not only on your weight loss journey it seems, but ya know in life...with that super busy schedule you mentioned.

Two - calmly and clearly think this issue thru. You mentioned a few things that seem like true facts: you do this alone, at night, when stressed. Then you made a few contradictory statements (like you cant workout more because you are busy, if you can binge you can workout). So be honest, and sort out the details with yourself. I am not claiming to understand, only you do. But just take a few minutes and think about the problem before you try to solve it or excuse it.

Three - make a plan. I dont always believe in solutions, they sound final. I have been *actively* dealing with weight loss maint for 10 years and it never ends. I dont have a solution. I have the desire to make plans, find things that work (until they dont anymore), adapt, and keep at it. If you know stress is the issue (my big one too!), work on plans to reduce stress: acupuncture, working out, meditation, etc. Dont say you dont have time. You matter, this matters, its making you feel out of control - figure it out. Tell your husband you need his help if you do! Make a plan about what you do next time you are super stressed and alone? Can you as someone said write it? can you make an emergency phone call? can you promise to post about it here?

Remember your success isnt overshadowed by ongoing issues. It is just part of being fortunate enough to actually be in maint! A lucky one. I see it like that joke about aging...if you are old enough to be worried about the signs of aging you are still alive and that is a gift!

Last edited by xty; 09-26-2010 at 06:50 PM.
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Old 09-26-2010, 07:29 PM   #19  
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Thank you xty! Your post was very thoughtful and helpful. I enjoyed reading your "take" on maintenance. I'm going to re-read this post whenever I need to be honest with myself and when I'm being to hard on myself, and also when I start feeling like I need to find "the solution." I guess there is no solution. It's just whatever is working at the time. And if it's not working, it needs to be adjusted again.

Good luck ncuneo. I'm a maaaaajor stress eater and there are a few EXTREMELY stressful things in my life right now so I do feel your pain.
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Old 09-26-2010, 08:26 PM   #20  
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We all struggle. It is so hard doing what we are all doing. weekends are so hard. Self-hatred won't get you anywhere though. You have got to look forward to a new day and come up with a plan for yourself.

Saturday afternoons are long for me and my two small children so we go bowling. It takes up 2-3 hours and I don't allow any drinks of food. we leave a bit after lunch and get home when it is time to make dinner. and it is even a bit of activity. can you find any solutions like that?
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Old 09-26-2010, 08:54 PM   #21  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jefferzzzz View Post
I really don't mean to go off topic, but RockinRobin, what hot chocolate are u drinking that is 20 calories per cup??? I love my hot chocolate, and the one I am now using is like 110 calories per cup. Please let me know if you would be so kind.

It never occurred to me, like rockinrobin said to find a replacement to do instead of eating. This is something I need to focus on myself. So thanks Robin!
It's Nestles Brand Fat Free Hot Chocolate...

http://www.amazon.com/Nestle-Carbsel.../dp/B000EMPNCE

Interesting. The nutritional facts here say 25 calories, but the box that I have here (and all the ones that I've had over the years) says 20.

And you're very welcome!!

Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-26-2010 at 08:57 PM.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:07 PM   #22  
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My two cents . . .

You had a 9 mile long run this morning. Unless you took your son in a jog stroller (or are an olympic runner), you had about 2 hours of "me" time this morning.

You're finding time to overeat at night because you are bored/stressed/lonely/resentful or whatever it is you are feeling. In the same time it takes to overeat, you could paint your nails, make a cup of tea, do 20 pushups, run up and down the stairs five times, clean the toilet . . . you get where I am going with this.

This doesn't seem as much about a lack of time as it does your feelings about having to shoulder more than you feel should be your share of the household and family responsibilities.

Just something to think about.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:09 PM   #23  
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I can definitely relate. I handle stress well- I can complete tasks, and never seem "frazzled." I have people tell me I am cold, and even my closest friend told me today that up until we joined a gym together today, she had never seen me sweat- and we have been super close for nearly eight years.

When I get stressed, I eat. And to be honest, there is not enough gum in the world to prevent me from eating. I try to plan, and it occasionally works.

I know this probably doesn't provide any sort of help for you, but I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:14 PM   #24  
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I feel you and needed to see this thread..especially the words of wisdom from Robin. Replacing the old habits is something I am STILL doing and still must make a concious effort to actually do. So yeah I am with you on the cold turkey thing. Kick it in the ***, seriously. It just ain't worth it.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:50 PM   #25  
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Quote:
You had a 9 mile long run this morning. Unless you took your son in a jog stroller (or are an olympic runner), you had about 2 hours of "me" time this morning.
You're totally right, and running usually is my me time, but as I'm getting deeper into my training it's getting harder and a little stressful, but I'm almost done with the training and will be bringing my milage down to a more manageable range in a few weeks. This should help.

I hear you with the time thing. I just need to figure it out and stop making excuses. I guess food has been a stress release for so long that finding other coping mechanisms can be hard, but it's time - because I don't know many long term maintainers that can binge on a regular basis. And as soon as the half marathon training is over I bet the lbs will start packing on.

My plan right now is to meditate and breath when I feel a binge coming on, try to distract and find other things to do, go to bed early if it's an option, journal everything (I do this now, but throw it out the window once a binge starts), get my maintenance post training exercise plan in order, try to find a hobby or two and accept, move on and start inplementing today!
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Old 09-27-2010, 10:07 AM   #26  
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Ncueno- i am having the same difficulties right now as well. I think part of it stems from an acceptance- a complacency in having reached goal and being in maintenance. I think a huge part of it stems from lonliness as well. I ended a 3 year, live-in relationship at the beginning of summer and am still transitioning into being single. It is hard, and so so lonely. I think another HUGE factor (tied to being single-lonely) is the lack of accoutnability i have now. There is no one in my house to poitn out that im still munching away in the kitchen. There is no one to witness my destructive behavior. Perhaps thats aprt of it with you too? Since your husband has started this new schedule, i mean.......
Perhaps you are like me a little, in the sense that when i relax my reigns a little, i go overboard. Way way overboard. I dont have any solutions for you. Im looking for them myself.
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Old 09-27-2010, 04:02 PM   #27  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ncuneo View Post
I think the biggest issue right now is I feel like I have no time to myself and I don't get a day off. I work full time and DH works all weekend day and night and I'm home with our 2 yr old which is a full time job in itself. I do all the cleaning, cooking, etc. as well. DH used to have his chores, which somehow have become mine as well. We talked about this recently because I'm getting really resentful about the fact that he gets one sometimes two days off while DH is a preschool. And he agreed he'd would help out more. But that still doesn't give me anymore time for myself. Right now I feel like everyone in my life constantly needs something from me, and I can never say no. But that's just life I guess if I'm not going to say no.
Boy oh boy, can I relate to THAT. Hubby and I both have full time jobs, our son is 20 months old, hubby is taking a class, I go to Zumba Tuesday evenings and the list goes on. And once again, just last week I found myself doing ALL the chores. We had a "discussion" and he is back on track.

Here are my tips for what they are worth: We use a lot of paper plates and paper bowls which makes for less dishes to wash. I cook enough at a time to last for more than one meal. I have a dry erase board I put on the fridge. I list out things that need to be done (i.e. put laundry in dryer, vacuum living room, empty dishwasher, etc.) Hubby and I have agreed that he will do at least one chore each day. Most chores don't take more than 5 - 15 mins, but if he is doing one each day, than that is 7 less I have to do each week.

You need to make time for yourself. Yes - running is time for yourself, but you also need time where you sit and relax. What do you ENJOY doing? Cup of coffee with a friend? Scrapbooking? Journal writing? Reading? Listening to music? Watching a chick flick? Tinkering on Facebook? Organizing a shelf in a closet? Light a good smelling candle?
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