I soooo hate my body right now :(
 

I'm sorry this will probably be a long post, but I'll start with saying that I am completely & utterly in hate with my body right now.

All summer (June, July, August) I've been so very very good. Eating very healthy and exercising with swimming, walking, and weight lifting. I've watched my portion sizes, been diligent with getting enough fruits & veggies, and keeping my calorie count under 1500 per day. Was I perfect? Of course not - sometimes we'd have guests or go out for a special dinner on occasion, but in no way did I gorge myself or get off track for more than one meal a week.

Here's samples of what I eat

Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 slice whole grain toast with 1 pat butter
or a bowl of Kashi Go Lean Crunch with Almond Milk
2 cups coffee

Lunch: Turkey sandwich on whole wheat with low-fat cheese, L&T
or a frozen Green Giant veggie dish with 3 oz turkey, sliced cucumber & grapes

Dinner: Baked chicken with long grain rice,
or lean pork chops with lima beans and salad
or pan-seared tilapia with brown rice and broccoli

I rarely eat dessert, when I do, it's usually something like an 80 calorie sugar free jello pudding or a 150 calorie Skinny Cow or something like that.

My (planned!) snacks are usually a handful of almonds or a small piece of fruit.... I drink about 1 Diet Mtn Dew per day, but mostly just water. No candy, no chips, no nothing of that sort!

Walk or swim Mon-Wed-Fri and do weight lifting on Tue & Thu (and I swim on weekends - a lot!!!)

I'VE GAINED 10 POUNDS. :mad: :( :?:
(and I'm so peeved about it, I'm not even going to bother changing my stupid ticker!)

And since July, I've been battling "folliculitis" - my scalp has been crazy itching!! The derm gave me meds (I'm currently on round 2 of meds!) and I wash my hair in cold water, can't blow dry it (the heat makes it worse) can't color my hair or anything... the greys are REALLY showing now, and even tho my head is FINALLY getting better, now I've got "heat rash" on 40% of my body (upper back of arms, front upper thighs, stomach & small patch on my back) -and the itching is just ... OMG!!! INSANE!!!!! - I use Itch-X and Gold Bond powder and there's no good reason for any of this!!!! :tantrum: :stress:

I swear, I'm just about to cry while typing and I'm so hateful toward my body right now. There's a huge part of me that is "never give up!" - BUT... there's a part of me that is steadily growing that says "why shouldn't I just forget it?" I'm 47 years old, in perimenopause (no period in three months now...altho I'm not really complaining about that part!) and my mood swings are incredibly unpredictable. I've got NO sex drive (my poor husband :( ) and I am bored to death with life in general, altho I love my job and my home & family & friends... I'd rather just run away. :tired:

I guess I'm not really looking for "answers" here... just need to vent & get a shoulder or two. :^:

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I get really bad heat rashes too and the only product I have ever found that works for me is Jock Itch Spray (Walgreens brand is my favorite!) Anywhere it occurs on my body I just spray a thin layer on clean skin a few times a day and it goes away faster than any cream could make it. It's a lifelong problem and I've tried everything under the sun, I HTH. One more thing, and I can't help but give some advice (my nature), are you eating enough, or too much? 1200 cal a day is minimum and for quite a lot of people it's hard to lose if you sink below that, starvation mode and all that. I hope you find peace soon, and that things get better for you!

Gosh! Sounds like your "diet" is great. You are getting exercise. Are you weighing your meats? I thought a whole chicken breast was a "serving" until I weighed it and discovered a breast is 2 - 3 servings. (same with a pork chop).

You say you are walking - have you tried doing intervals? (ex. for one minute, walk like you are about to miss the bus, then walk normal for a min, repeat.) That might help some.

Sometimes bodies JUST SUCK. You find out you have high cholesterol and a cavity and your two day headache won't go away. And over labor day weekend, a leech bit me (little b@st@rd) and now that spot is red, irritated, itchy and driving me nuts! Stupid bodies.

Keep trucking along... the weight will come off.

I would second the idea of weighing. You may be getting your portions wrong.

I'm so sorry, sweetie. It's incredibly unfair and I'm sending you a hug. :hug:

Any chance you got into any poison ivy or its relatives recently?

For heat rash, if it's really heat rash, I've found the best product is Soothing Care Powder Gel. The itching of heat rash is mostly because of yeast--this takes care of it.

Wish I could help with the weight issue... But I can't claim to have any handle on that. I'd say if you're using a calorie tracker, look at your average calories over a week at a time, going backward, and see how it comes out. If you're not using a calorie tracker... well, maybe it's time. And weigh and measure. My experience is that it's really easy to go a little bit too high on everything, and then suddenly that 1500 calorie day is really more like 1650...

Good luck Beach Patrol! :hug:
Jay

ETA: That skin reaction could be something systemic. Might be good to get it checked out, if you haven't already. Heat rash usually is in folds, not in large areas... That's why I thought of a poison ivy reaction.

You say you go off track "no more than once a week"--depending on what you are eating, that can really make a difference. It's quite possible (easy, even), to eat 2100 calories extra if you eat a "nice meal" out--I mean, that's just a burger and fries and a margarita. It seems like "just one meal", but it adds 300 calories a day to you your daily average for the week.

Friends coming over, special occasions, too tired to cook--you can stay on plan through all of these with a little creative problem solving.

i agree with the ladies, but i also wanted to ask if you talked to your doc about the derm meds you are on? do they cause weight gain? the only reason i ask is cause that was the case with my mom, and she really gained quite bit of weight from them, and maybe even getting your thyroid checked out (i have hypothyroidism and it does make a difference) and of course just weighing meats and doing what the other ladies say will make a difference..just hang in there :hug: you will get this figured out!

I was thinking the same thing as Shmead. One off meal can really throw your weight loss off. And I also agree that you should check the actual weights of the foods you're eating.

Also, many of us 40 something gals just can't lose on 1500 calories, we require less, factor that in with that off meal and there you have it.

As unhappy as you may be to have to lower your calories and to eliminate that one off meal, you have to think how unhappy you are at your current weight.

Also, about the itching, check on any oral meds you are taking. My sister had an allergic reaction to Wellbutrin in some combination she had been prescribed, and she had redness and itching on her belly, thighs, etc.

Jay

Ah ha! Menopause! Raging hormones cause all kinds of weird crap.

Been there, done that. :dizzy:

Thankfully I found a great gyno who was professional and empathetic, he helped me and my husband through the process, he was a Godsend.

I did menopause early due to crappy inherited female stuff. Trust me, hormones are a ***** when they get on a roll. I had a ovariohysterectomy at 30, best thing I ever did. I was a wreck for 2 years before that.

I had all kinds of weird symptoms until I had the surgery, now I just deal with an itchy back only in the winter, *who knows* and sex drive isn't what it used to be, but not bad.

Better than wanting to get up in the morning and go shoot something.

I'm sorry about your issues hon. I'll be praying for your medical issues to be resolved. I wish that things were easier for you sweety, but sometimes life throws us hardballs. Good luck sweetheart.

*HUGS* i feel the same way you do about a few things, i definitely understand where you are coming from! it shall pass :)

Just a big :hug: from me. I'm also in the midst of some body hate (an injury lasting over 18 months, with meds that stall out any attempts at weight loss and injections that cause a 5-10 lb bounce for at least 2 weeks but barely touch the pain), so I understand.

Seriously, no advice beyond that has been said, but just lots of support for you.

Bless your heart hun. I know it must be making you crazy!. Hang in there, it's bound to get better :hug: