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Hugs to you. There are so many people here who have been or are currently in the same place you are hon. There IS help. These ladies are so sweet and helpful AND they have awesome advice! :)
Don't lose the weight to make your BF happy. Lose it to make yourself happy and to be healthy. Boyfriends come and go. Do this for you. I know with working full time and being in college your time is scarce (as well as money) but there has to be a solution to keep you away from the vending machings. Do you have any friends that might lend you a little refrigeration space perhaps? Have you ever thought about trying the Atkns diet to help with you carb cravings? I am sure you could check the book out at the library if you're interested. Also do you drive to work/college? Is it feasible for you to walk to either or both. I know you have tendonitis in your ankle (I have arthritis in both ankles and knees), but the more you can get moving the stronger it will get. A committed walking routine can get your metabolism rolling. Many hugs and support as you begin your journey :) |
I wish I could walk to work. Its about a 30 mile drive! I could walk but I'd have to start at like 2 a.m.! :D
I am hoping to start walking my dog soon. She LOVES the movement. Right now I walk a mile a day at school on the indoor walking trail but any more than that causes my ankle to be more irritated and the doctor warned me to not over due it yet. |
Does your school have a pool or a gym center? You might be able to pop in between classes, get a quick work-out in and then head back out to class. I know i've gotten completely ready for my day in a school locker room too, so you could always get to campus early to get a work-out in.
As for the eating thing, buy healthy, quick foods. Tuna, brown rice, beans, seasonal fruits and veggies, bulk chicken are all quick, easy foods that are also cheap. I live off a strict budget too but its do-able. I pack a lunch to take to school every day, shelf-stable things that don't have to go into a fridge. Most college campuses have a microwave that you could heat up left-overs in. It just takes some planning. |
First, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and feeling so sad.
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I work full-time, have two kids, often work late events, and am generally quite busy. There is no reason why you can't pack a lunch box/cooler for the day and bring it with you to work/school. Assuming you have only $20 every two weeks: 10 plain yogurts = $4.00 1 bag baby carrots = $1.99 1 dozen eggs = $1.50 2 sweet potatoes = $1.50 2lbs chicken = $6.00 Black beans = $0.89/can (cheaper when bought dry, in bulk) Loaf of whole wheat bread = $1.99* Bananas = $0.19/lb 1 bag washed, fresh spinach = $1.99 1/2 pound Thin n Trim chicken/turkey/rb at the deli = $3.00 *freeze half That's $23. So, here's your tough love. :) I hear a lot of excuses about why it's *impossible* for you to do it. You can do it, but it requires advanced planning and setting aside the time in the morning to pack a lunch. |
First of all, I can understand how trapped you feel. I have felt like that most of my "adult" life...its not a fun way to live.
Here is what I can tell you from my experience of being severely overweight for about 6 years now...I got married at 20...weighed 195. I have always been overweight. I have always struggle with missed periods. But had never been diagnosed with PCOS. We wanted to have children right away...but sadly PCOS for some women causes infertility. And it does for me. We have tried for 6 and half years to get pregnant. So when I hear of young women (teens, young adults) I ALWAYS tell them. Learn to control PCOS now. And for most women that means decreasing your intake of sugar and carbs. If you can drop the weight and reduce your symptoms of PCOS now you will be so grateful when/if the time comes that you want children. In the past year we have spent probably in the neighborhood of 10,000 bucks on infertility. Only for it to result in a miscarriage. Its a VERY hard road emotionally and financially to travel. I wouldn't wish it on ANYONE! Carbs are STILL my weakness. I still eat fast food...more then I should, and for me the weight is coming off slower then I would like. But I do eat on plan 80-90 percent of the time. If you can just start slow. Don't even think about exercise right now. You WILL drop weight if you just start watching your calorie intake. And ESPECIALLY if you stop eating the wrong carbs/sugars...try it. Honestly eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive. There are a lot of meals I make that come from cans. I just have to make sure I look at the ingredients. So start with your eating. Even for 6 months...start making changes...figure out how to get healthier eating to work for you and your life. Give your ankle plenty of time to heal. Then you can start exercising. Wow this is getting long...but my heart goes out to women with PCOS. This disease has literally ruined my life. But I am fighting back finally by losing weight. And it makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel like it is NOT going to control my life. But only YOU can decide to escape from the prison you are living it. Its going to be hard. There will be days you throw a tantrum. There will be days you wanna give up, and there will be days that you mess up. But if you just keep reminding yourself that you are going to escape all the horrible things that you feel now, you will lose weight. So what if it takes you 2 years to lose it? I keep telling myself too when I see only a few pound loss for the month, well at least its not that I'm UP those 3 pounds. Its still 3 pounds gone! Hugs to you, and YOU CAN do it! :) |
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I know you said your time is limited, but I've found visiting coupon sites that have sales and coupons matched up for local supermarkets have been a huge money saver. Sometimes I'm getting food for cents or free... like about a month ago I was able to fill the freezer with frozen vegetables that worked out to be free after coupons. Just an idea to stretch your dollar more. |
You might consider slowing down your life a little--you could take one fewer class a semester and go an extra semester or year before you graduate. In the long run, an extra year isn't a big deal (unless you are accumulating debt in a major way), and it'd be better to graduate a year later emotionally and physically healthy than to graduate sooner but an emotional wreck.
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I have been married since dinosaurs roamed the earth and only have male children (ages 11 to 34 years old) so I think I have actually learned a thing or two about men...
and my question to you is this: Is your BF a sad sack who will always find something to complain about? He is having problems with your weight now but what will happen when you get to a weight that makes him happy? Will he just move on to something else that he doesn't like about you? What I am saying is, maybe the problem here is his problem, not yours? I have seen so many women in relationships where they do ALL the work and 25 years later they are STILL stuck with a miserable sad sack that they should have kicked to the curb the first time he suggested that they need to loose a few pounds or get a boob job... I have weighed as much as I do now and as little as 135, I know my husband prefers thin woman, but even so he has NEVER said one negative thing about my weight or pushed me into diets or asked me if I was "sure" I wanted to eat something, or given me a gym membership as a "gift"... He has loved me at every weight. I had to weed through several duds until I found him, but he was worth the effort and the wait. You are a young woman with plenty to offer the right guy, and believe me, there are lots and lots of men out there for women of every imaginable size and shape. If you are sure this is the right guy ignore this... But if you are not 100% sure, remember that life is SHORTER than you think, so PLEASE don't waste your youth on a dud! |
Wow, Robertskitty- I almost thought that I was reading my life's story, lol! I knew my now husband for only 8 months before we got married. Within those 8 months, he took me out to eat at least 2 times daily. I never did that before I met him. He spoiled me with chocolates, etc. By the time we got married, I had gained 20 lbs. The first year of marriage, we continued the whole eating out at restaurants and I continued to gain an extra 30 lbs. It was within that year that I started having PCOS problems... not sure if it started up because of the sudden weight gain, or vice versa. I was put on birth control to control the cysts and it worked. But I was terrified of gaining more weight, so I stopped taking them. Fortunately for me, I don't have severe PCOS symptoms; just the occasional cyst.
But since I got into that habit of eating really bad, really big meals all the time, I ballooned into my current weight. Depression does not help; I have suffered with it my entire life and have taken countless antidepressants. After being married for about a year, I finally got it out of my husband why we weren't having sex as often. Those words still haunt me today: "I'm just not attracted to you anymore. I still love you, but you've let yourself go". OUCH!!!!!!! I know how you feel!! |
Oops, didn't mean to hit quick reply :)
The point is, things got much better in our relationship when I let him know how much it hurt me. And also pointed out that hurting me only got me further depressed which made me want comfort food. I wish I had some great words of wisdom. I'm just now jumping on the diet train. But you are so not alone!!! |
I just keep thinking about something...Sorry, I have to get it out of my head.
You said you only have $20 every 2 weeks for groceries...so $10 bucks a week. How can you remain overweight on that little of food money? I mean seriously...my 18 year old was begging for McDonalds last night and I finally broke down and took him. (Poor kid is fast food denied usually :))..a #1 was over $4 dollars. Almost 1/2 of your weekly budget. Even if you ate total cheap crap for every meal that would mean you would have only 47 cents per meal to spend for one week. A candy bar is .75 cents at most places. That would take nearly 2 of your meals budget and they are usually under 300calories. My point is, you cannot buy enough calories at .47 cents a meal to barely live. You "should" be starving. I don't get it. What food do you usually purchase for $10/week? |
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I don't know...I can buy a lot of crap at Aldi. Cheap crap is...well, cheap crap. They have mini pizza for like .30 a pizza and chicken burritos for about the same and I could go on.
Aldi also has fresh seasonal fruit and yogurts and eggs for .75 a dozen and milk for $1.50 a gallon and soy milk and romaine lettuce and fresh chicken and all kinds of good things. At Meijer, I spend no less than $300.00 every time I set foot in the place. At Aldi's, with a full cart, I never spend over $120. I like Aldi's. :D |
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Well, in my husband's mind food you eat outside the house is not considered part of the grocery budget. He can have fast food bags falling out of his car when he opens the door and still insist that we are completly on target with our grocery "budget"! That's why Ihave been in charge of the money for the past three months. The results we are still spending the exact same amount on groceries and somehow have saved 725.21! This money is being put in a special account and going toward my anticipated tummy tuck!
We got married when we where 17 and went off to college together. Our food budget while we were in college in 1970 was 35.OO a week and even 40 years ago THAT was VERY LEAN for two people! |
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