If you are overweight you are depriving yourself of good healthy. Would you rather eat anything and everything and end up in the doctor's office? It's funny, we feel deprived of food but don't feel bad about the harm overeating can do.
I lost my first ten pounds by eating healthy. I didn't count calories either. I cut out all drinks except water, ate an oat based cereal I made myself using oats, almonds, and assorted dried fruits. I ate only half a cup of that every morning. I had small meals throughout the day, and I excercised!!!
AND-- if I had a craving, I ate it-- but a small portion. And you know what?? I started craving healthy foods like raw veggies. And I exercised as well.
Things happened, life stress, etc. and I started eating how I did before, an unhealthy diet. I have not gained any weight but I have not lost any.
I know a lot of people probably disagree with this viewpoint, but I allow myself planned cheat days. They were frequent at first, sometimes friday and saturday. I didn't count calories when I first started really trying to lose weight in January. I just picked a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner with protein and veggies (fruit instead in the morning). Snacking is another thing that never really worked for me, unless it was just fruit and vegetables. I don't like constantly thinking about what I'm going to eat. You can even just keep repeating meals until you get sick of them.
Anyway, I was hungry for awhile, yeah, but the planned cheat day just made it seem less like "depriving" myself of the craving and more like "putting it off" for another day. Usually, when the cheat days came around, I'd see a change in the scale or feel so much better that the junk food just didn't seem so appealing, so I just had a mostly healthy day with maybe a more caloric/rich meal in the evening. I think for about 2 weeks out of the whole first 4 months did I actually just go crazy on a cheat day, and they were early on. I don't know if this would work for you, but it worked really well for me. I don't have technical planned cheat days now, but if I want say, pizza or chips or something I think "ok, I can have it on saturday if I still want it then." I usually forget about it by the time saturday rolls around. It's kind of a mind game to avoid feeling deprived, I guess. Sort of like telling a child they can have a cookie after dinner, then the child's already full and doesn't want the cookie anymore, haha.
I only counted calories for a short period of time after I lost the first 30 lbs, and I hated it. So many people have such good success with it, but I absolutely hate keeping track of it. I love planning workouts and meals, but counting every calorie that goes into my mouth just does not work for me.
First of all, I just want to second *everything* that RockinRobin said. Perfect.
Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you read the Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet per se. It's a book about using the principles of Cognitive Behavior Therapy to make your weight loss plan work.
I think the principles in Beck would help you:
1. Understand your priorities and internalize them. You say you "want to be thin, energetic and healthy" but you want food more. Is that really true? If it really is true, maybe you should just accept your body as it is and eat whatever the heck you want. (I am saying this as devil's advocate, of course... I personally would not recommend a lifestyle that leaves you overweight, lethargic and unhealthy)
2. Address your issues with being hungry. It's really not the end of the world, after all.
3. I'm just guessing here, but you might have some issues with fairness. A lot of us say, "I have this friend and she's skinny and eats whatever she wants. Fast food and cake and beer every day and she's a size 00. It's not fair." That's part of why we feel so deprived when we can't eat whatever we want -- because we know someone who can. Well, life's not fair.
In closing, a great quote from 3FC member BeachPatrol (or, technically, her mama): You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want.
There's some really good things being said here. I hope they're helping. Expanding upon some of them...
Look at your last sentence. What do you really want? Do you really want to lose weight? Do you really want to be healthy?
No one can help you with this, because these are decisions you have to make yourself. You have to figure out for yourself what is really stopping you. You like food more? No, you really don't. Here's the choice: eat whatever you want because you "like food" more, or make the changes necessary to be healthy. There are no other options.
FYI- there is nothing "wrong" with you. Many, many people struggle with this. I did. It really does come down to making the choice and sticking with it. There may be the underlying issues, but you'll have to work them out for yourself. Thesame7lbs had some good thoughts on this as well, particularly with the issue of "feeling hungry". Personally- it sounds as if your idea of a diet is too restrictive. There are plenty of people here (me included!) who still eat the foods they love, by calorie counting and making healthy replacements. Or having a "cheat" day, or a maintenance instead of dieting day. It's not like eating healthy means you can never have a cupcake again. That's not what it means at all. But you'll stop eating so many of them, and you WILL find healthy foods that you love.
Now that I'm thinking more about it, my weight loss journey began when I LOWERED my calories even further. Why? Two reasons- 1) I began to realize how satisfied I really was at the lower number, not starving at all, and 2) for certain things, the more I eat, the more I want to eat. I may be satisfied at 100 calories, and have room for 150, but if I eat 150, I crave more, regardless of how full I am. So I stick to 100.
Whatever the solution is for you, just know that "dieting" or "eating healthier" does not mean starving or no more "delicious" foods. If it did, no one would make it.
I ate healthy, used one plate, no snacks, no sweets except on limited occasions and gained weight. It isn't only about the types of food but the amounts as well.
Karen
blonie123, I know where you are coming from. Food gives us instant right now satisfaction, but I think if being thin, energetic and healthy was instant we'd be picking thin over food. It's just being thin takes alot of work.
First, I'm a believer in counting calories, atleast for awhile till you get an idea of how small/big your portions should be and how much food in general you can eat. Counting calories gives you a little flexibility to have something not healthy. If you eat a healthy low-cal breakfast, snack and lunch, you can probably fit in the steak and potato for dinner (which isn't totally unhealthy btw).
Everyone is different, but just eating healthy hasn't always worked for me. If I stick to just healthy vegetables, fruit and protein it's easy for my calories to be too low (I noticed when I'm under a 1000 calories my weight loss does stall), add in some healthy grains (rice, bread) and it's easy to go over my calories.
I'm also guilty of eating the healthy food and then eating the 'bad' food later anyway, winding up eating even more then if I just went for the unhealthy food in the first place. so if I really really want something I try to work it into my calories and practice portion control. Not sure if it's the same for you, but it's way too easy to overeat unhealthy food, so being able to have a portion and practice that control to not eat the whole thing or whole bag does take work.
You said you are going the gym. I find exercising really encourages me to eat the right foods and stay on track. I want to fuel my workouts and not undo all the hard work I did. When I couldn't exercise for awhile, I also gave up on my diet and eating healthy. So definitely keep going to the gym, it may give you the kick you need.
Last edited by ringmaster; 08-04-2010 at 02:18 PM.
Give it a chance. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Let those new habits form. Stretch. Reach. Grow. Conquer something new. Master a new skill. Discover who you were meant to be.
That was BEAUTIFUL Robin! - I mean, seriously!!! And those words of wisdom can be applied to many other things in life as well as dieting! - 5 stars!!!!!
Okay, so I have been starting my weight loss journey, and I am totally sucking at it. I did join a gym, and I am happy about that at least, but I am still not sure about the whole dieting/food issue.
I just don't think I can do it. I hate feeling deprived. I hate feeling hungry. I don't understand how people aren't hungry on their plans. My friend on weight watchers told me to just eat an apple if I were hungry, and I felt even hungrier. I seem to get less hungry if I don't eat at all- weird huh?
A lot of times when I tell people I CANNOT stick to a diet they say....
DON'T DIET, JUST EAT HEALTHY!
Something about that is odd to me. How is eating healthy not a form of dieting? Same w/ weight watchers saying it isn't a diet. Or other programs saying they are "lifestyle changes".
To me, changing my eating habits and not eating what I want to eat is a DIET. I don't understand. I feel just as deprived counting calories, carbs, or fat grams as I do "eating healthy". The fact is, I don't really want grilled chicken instead of a steak and a baked potato w/ butter, and sour cream. I want the steak! I like healthy food, too, but I hate eating healthy when I really don't feel like it.
I always end up choosing the healthier option, and then later eating the fattening stuff on top of it!
What is wrong with me?! I mean, seriously, food should not be so important to me. It makes me feel so disgusted with myself.
My problem is not lack of knowledge, or that I won't exercise, or that I am in denial- my problem is FOOD.
How do I solve this? The more I think about trying to eat better, the more I just want to devour everything in sight!
This is so sad and frustrating for me. I want to be thin, energetic, and healthy, but I want food even more.
Awwwww!!!!! I feel ya!!!! -
Can I just say that I think your problem MAY BE that you haven't found THE RIGHT DIET FOR YOU just yet. I mean, think about it! - there are 100's of different diets out there... not everyone succeeds on the same diet... what works for SOME may not work for others. And the way you've described it all, I think you're kinda like me.... you are NOT WILLING to give up YOUR FAVORITE FOODS because YOU WANT TO BE THINNER. Well, the good news is that YOU DON'T HAVE TO!!!! That's right! I said it! You don't HAVE to give up your favorite foods. But you do have to realize that you can't eat them "all the time"...
Even tho I am stuck on a plateau, I can say that what truly works for me is allowing myself foods that I love... all the while INCORPORATING more & more "healthy foods". You'll soon find that there are "healthy" foods that you LOVE and you'll begin CHOOSING them instead of the old stand-bys.
Sometimes it isn't about giving up certain foods, but rather watching portion sizes, staying away from 2nd helpings, etc. Then maybe SUBSTITUTING things like low-fat mayo for regular mayo, ground turkey instead of ground beef, etc.
Sweetheart, I definitely understand what you're talking about. "Healthy Eating" looks gross and boring. I listen to people go on and on about how great their yogurt taste and I'm like, uh huh, just don't go grabbing for a spoon when I get my Ben & Jerry's.
I tailor my diet to fit my needs at the moment. A month ago, I was able to really crunch down and count calories and eat healthy, so I did, and lost 20 pounds. This month, I want to eat whatever I please and so I do, I just make sure that it's only once a day and around lunch time. Sunday I went to Chili's and had the loaded fries and the paradise pie. Monday I had cookies and KFC, Yesterday I had a Burger, fries and toaster strudel. Lost 4 pounds since Sunday... And when I'm feeling like a cave woman and I want steak, burgers and chicken... I go low carb.
It works for me. I've lost a little over 100 pounds to date and I haven't gained it back. I know it's not the healthiest, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, my goal is to lose weight.
Last edited by CarbsAreEvil; 08-04-2010 at 03:43 PM.
You can make small changes and see results. Small changes yeild small results, so you have to be ok with that. If you need large results to stay motivated, then you have to make large changes (and sometimes you still won't see large results, so you have to learn to change your expectations or you'll drive yourself batty).
But as for the "deprivation" there is also another alternative. You don't have to look at change as being necessarilly deprivation. Eating better doesn't have to be boring and horrible.
When you see healthy as the less tastey, unpleasant alternative, of course you're going to feel deprived. So find ways to make healthy tasty.
Baked chicken breast - healthy, but boring.
Boneless, skinless chicken thighs simmered in salsa and onions - Not only healthy, it tastes wonderful and is amazingly easy (if you're really lazy, you don't even have to slice and add the onion. Just the chicken cooked in salsa is very good), and it's at least as tasty as a boring grilled chunk o' meat.
You don't have to replace unhealthy/exciting foods with healthy/boring food. There are a lot of exciting/healthy foods.
It does require a change in mindset though. For me, it started with envying celebrities and weatlhy people who went to fancy spas to lose weight. Of course it would be easy to lose weight, I thought, if you had a chef preparing gourmet healthy meals, with exotic fruits and vegetables, and if you had someone arranging exciting and fun ways to exercise like horseback riding, swimming... and had massages and spa treatments to relax afterward.....
And I suddenly realized that I could at least try to replicate the spa experience. I had to be my own chef, personal trainer, spa manager and and activities director, but it was at least theoretically possible.
One of the first things I did, because I love fruit, is decide that I was going to splurge each week on exotic fruits and vegetables. It wasn't always a great experience, but it was always an adventure (I learned that I HATE persimmons, which is too bad, they're so cute - but it was an adventure to try one).
You can choose to feel deprived or you can choose to feel blessed. You can find the adventure in "healthy changes" or you can choose to mourn the losses.
I'm not saying it's always easy to make healthy changes (if it were, I'd be losing a lot faster), but it doesn't have to be sad and horrible either.
My problem is not lack of knowledge, or that I won't exercise, or that I am in denial- my problem is FOOD.
Let me start by saying that this is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I don't think your problem is food. I think the issue lies with your attitude toward food and weight loss. I read alot of negatives in your post. You say:
Quote:
I just don't think I can do it. I hate feeling deprived. I hate feeling hungry. I don't understand how people aren't hungry on their plans.
Instead of looking at those things, you need to start telling yourself that you CAN...
I CAN do it.
I CAN find foods that make me feel satisfied.
I WILL learn to manage my hunger.
I DESERVE to be healthy.
Losing weight isn't easy. No one in this forum ever said it is. I've been trying to get to a healthy weight now for over 10 years. There aren't any quick solutions. It's a learning process and I'm just starting to understand that it's a commitment that you have to be ready to make. If you're not ready to do it, you won't. For me, I have to remind myself every single day that being healthy and 'thinner' is way more important than french fries and greasy cheeseburgers and that empty feeling I sometimes get in my belly. Every day you have to choose to take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.
One of the first things I did, because I love fruit, is decide that I was going to splurge each week on exotic fruits and vegetables. It wasn't always a great experience, but it was always an adventure (I learned that I HATE persimmons, which is too bad, they're so cute - but it was an adventure to try one).
LOL Kap!!!!!! - "Those darn cute fruits will fool ya ever'time!!!!"
Well, I had responded to this, and it disappeared! I think I will shorten my response this time! Maybe.. lol
I just wanted to say I am soooo glad I found this forum! I have never had anyone to talk to about all of this! No one I know seems to understand.
I am so encouraged by what each and every one of you said. It was just encouraging feeling like I was not being judged because I have a problem with food!
I can't respond to everyone, but I do want to say that I have had a very negative attitude about the whole weight loss process, and now I see how much that is hindering me. I have also had a very "all or nothing" approach. And I have struggled with the "it isn't fair" mentality.
Today, I am changing that. I can't let food be such a big deal to me! I actually like healthy food, but I want to eat the unhealthy stuff, too.
I think I will allow myself to do just that. In moderation, of course. Today, I have eaten very well, and I don't feel sad or deprived. I honestly had no idea I was being so negative! Thank you all for helping me to see that!
Eating well is not something you should dread. But look forward to and get EXCITED about. Yes, excited. Because it's an incredible way to live.
You can poll person after person of the big losers (and ones well on their way) around here and I bet you each and every one of them will tell you that they fell in love with eating well and never, ever want to live another way and that LARGE majority of them (myself included) never ever imagined that it could ever be that way.
It turns out that eating well is not the burden I always feared it would be - but an absolute joy and pleasure. Who knew?
I also caution you with the moderation approach. Many of us find that road very difficult or down right impossible. Because when you let in a little of the *other* stuff, it often leads to a LOT (especially initially as you're trying to master new habits). Just ask any alcoholic if they can successfully let in a little shot of booze.
So if you do go the moderation route, tread slowly, make yourself some boundaries and limits and make sure to access what the results are.
Quote:
That was BEAUTIFUL Robin! - I mean, seriously!!! And those words of wisdom can be applied to many other things in life as well as dieting! - 5 stars!!!!!
Thank you. I'm glad those words meant something to you. I really DO think they're applicable in many areas, weight loss and changing ones relationship with food right at the top. I DO believe that that is what it all boils down to as you strive to better your life.
I feel ya!!!! -
That's right! I said it! You don't HAVE to give up your favorite foods. But you do have to realize that you can't eat them "all the time"...
