Ok, first off this is going to be a long rant, so sorry in advance. Secondly, I honestly never thought I'd be making a post like this, especially at 152 lbs.
I started dating my boyfriend while I was at my high weight. I was still relatively active, so I wasn't all that out of shape, but I had gained a ton of weight in graduate school and was in a size 12/14 at almost 200 lbs. We have known each other since high school, so he obviously knew what I looked like thin back then (130 lbs).
Anyway, a few months after we started seeing each other I began to take weight loss seriously. I had been working out and seeing slow results, but I tweaked my diet, and in a few months I was down at 160 lbs. My boyfriend never seemed to really notice or care about the weight loss, and we don't really eat around each other much. He works nights, I work days, he never pays attention to what I eat at bbqs and family functions, and we rarely ever eat at restaurants because we live in a very rural area. So basically I was seeing him in the evenings way after dinner and on weekends, where I always have let myself cheat a bit.
He had always complemented me on how "hot" and attractive I was. He could never keep his hands off of me! Right around the time I hit 160 pounds, it's like something clicked in his brain, he noticed the weight loss, and got turned off! We aren't "intimate" (ahem, lol) as often and I feel like I'm always the one initiating it. He doesn't seem as into it, either, and hasn't made any comments about me being sexy or hot since about 10 lbs ago. But that's not the worst of it! The other night he put his head on my stomach and said ewww, you're bony and rolled over on his side away from me. He has also started trying to push food on me constantly, one time even saying "you're going to waste away, just eat some pizza!" He's made an effort to stock ALL my favorite foods and drinks in his house, which he never did before. Cool ranch doritos, my favorite kinds of beer, pop, and liquor, pizza, cupcakes, etc.
I can see him taking issue if I was already at a low weight, but I am NOT that thin at all. At 5'7" and 152, I'm a size 8 in pants (6 in dresses) and still wear a 34D bra. I think I have a medium frame, and my ribs/collarbones seem to stand out first, but I mean I'm up there at the higher end of "normal" weight for my height. There's no way I'm "too skinny." I can see the 20 lbs I need to lose still, and they aren't necessarily vanity pounds.
My boyfriend is naturally thin and doesn't have to watch what he eats. I feel kind of bad, like I did a "bait and switch" by dating him as one girl and then all of the sudden morphing into a new person. My skin has also gotten much better and my hair has grown out from a bad haircut last september, so I have been feeling pretty good these days. It seems the more confident and attractive I feel, the more it is turning him off from me! I am really sad about this. I noticed him checking out other girls more, and they're usually blonde girls, like me, who have a similar body shape to me when I'm around 170/180. He also went to a wedding without me, and I heard from his brother that he was dancing with this other girl who looks like that! I never really thought that he was attracted to that kind of shape, because he rides motocross and is around TONS of thin, attractive promotional models and fans at races every weekend, which was part of the reason I got serious about my weight loss. I was afraid he would run off with one of them...but come to think of it he never really seems interested!
I'd be willing to stop at 140-145 and maintain there, but I do not want to be over 150, and honestly, I'd rather be at the 128 goal I set for myself in the beginning. My mom told me she doesn't think it's a problem with my "weight" but a problem with how "lean" I am looking. She said my collarbones are quite prominent and that I look kind of muscular (as if that's a bad thing? WTF!) When I'm not overweight, I actually have a mesomorphic body that's not skinny but muscular. I have really been making an effort with p90x and weight training, and I'm actually STARTING to be happy with my body for the first time in a long time. I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to give up what I want just because he has some weird "type"? Anything over 155 basically just looks and feels overweight on my frame, and always has. And he used to have a crush on me back when I was 130 lbs anyway! I'm so confused. Nothing else has changed in our relationship at all, either.
I just needed to vent I guess. But any advice would be greatly appreciated! Anyone else ever have a problem like this? What do you think it could be? Is it actually the physical attraction or is it something else?