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Old 07-15-2010, 07:59 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Virginia
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Unhappy I don't know what to do... =(

I have been doing well with my weight loss efforts (I started in June 2010). But ever since I got the stomach flu two weeks ago, it's been a little tough. I didn't eat for a week because I was so sick, and then once I got better I developed cravings for bad things that I hadn't really wanted before. I was struggling, but was barely able to hold my head above water. Then today happened...I got the terrible news that my grandma had passed away this morning in the hospital. It was unexpected really...she had a total knee replacement on Monday (she's had this done before) and while she was having a lot of pain, we all thought she was just on the road to recovery and would be fine as always. We don't know what went wrong at this point, but I am feeling a lot of guilt because I never got the chance to see her after her surgery on Monday. Our friends have been bringing food over like crazy, and because I am so depressed/upset, I have went over the deep end with my eating. Pizza, subs, baked beans, ham, regular soda pop, cake, cookies...the list goes on...now, not only do I feel guilt over not getting to say goodbye to my precious grandma, I'm also feeling guilt over eating like crazy. I know death is not an excuse to eat, but I feel like it will give me some comfort. When it doesn't, I go back to the kitchen for another cookie or slice of cake. I can't stand this, and now I am wondering if I'll be able to turn it around. It's going to be impossible to find the time this weekend to cook healthy meals, with the wake, funeral, and other things we will have to get done. I just don't know what to do... =(

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Old 07-15-2010, 08:05 PM   #2
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during this high stress time, just practice maintenance of your current loss. Don't overwhelm your body with the plan. If you start feeling better, start some light exercising. Stress causes you to need more calories anyways... watch your portions, and don't stuff yourself everytime you sit down to eat.

I am sorry for your loss. And sorry you were so ill. I pray that you heal and feel better quickly.
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12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:07 PM   #3
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Release yourself of the guilt. Now is not the time to worry if your eating is perfect. The stress over imperfect eating is causing you to eat more junk. Eat the food that is available to you even if it isnt the most healthy. Make the best choices you can with what's been brought over and the time you have and release any guilt for its imperfectness.

And then when the sadness hits and you want to reach for another cookie, go find a person, sit down next to them and either ask them to tell you a story about your grandma, or tell them a story about your grandma. Grieve.
Lost successfully, maintained successfully. Followed by a whole lot of setbacks and obstacles. Starting over with the knowledge gained before.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:09 PM   #4
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. Just try to hang in there as best as possible. Jen & ennay both gave you some great ideas on how to make it through this difficult time. I would also like to suggest getting out and taking a long walk, and possibly getting to the store for some fresh fruit and veggies to munch on between the other stuff. They'll fill you up some so that you don't have a lot of room for the ham and potato salad.
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Old 07-15-2010, 10:20 PM   #5
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i'm really sorry for your loss. try to take care of yourself by giving yourself the space to deal with what you're feeling, and by not putting too much pressure on yourself right now. take care.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:28 AM   #6
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I am so sorry, Take care and try not to stress too much.

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Old 07-16-2010, 12:07 PM   #7
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If you can find an outlet besides eating that would be wonderful, but with all the stress you are under if it isn't working then don't beat yourself up. After you are through this crisis you can work on a plan for an alternative to eating for comfort. Be kind to yourself! It truly is okay.
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Old 07-16-2010, 12:23 PM   #8
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First of all, so sorry to hear about your grandmother - loss of a loved one is always hard. Do not feel guilty - your grandmother would not want you to feel guilty, she knew that you loved her.

Next, you know that food is not going to help you feel better, you said yourself, "When it doesn't, I go back to the kitchen for another cookie or slice of cake." You can live maintenance during this time and find the strength to get through it. You CAN do this. If you find you need to feel better, go for a walk, think about the wonderful times you had with your grandmother. There are other ways to feel better other than eating.
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Old 07-16-2010, 03:35 PM   #9
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Grieving is hard no matter what else is going on in our lives, and nothing can really "make it better." Not pizza, chips, chocolate cake or whatever - not even pudding and pie combinations. But might I suggest that during this time you don't worry about your diet.

Yes, I said it. DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR DIET. The loss of someone you love is mega-hard to deal with in & of itself without be exacerbated by the OMG's you feel for going off plan. There will be plenty of time to get back on track & get healthy. Of course I'm not suggesting you should just go stark-raving crazy lunatic fringe on food - but I am suggesting that you DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR DIET at this particular time.

Again, my condolences for your loss.

You CAN have ANYTHING you want,
but you CAN'T have EVERYTHING you want!
~my mama!

Last edited by Beach Patrol; 07-16-2010 at 03:35 PM.
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Old 07-16-2010, 03:45 PM   #10
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I agree w/ what most people have said...focus on dealing w/ your grief right now and worry about your diet later. Don't go overboard, of course...maybe doing a little bit of exercise when you feel the need to eat will help...it always makes me feel better for some reason. *shrugs* Just remember that NOTHING right now is going to make you feel better short of getting your grandmother back...and, unfortunately, that's not possible. Let go of the guilt you feel...you had no way of knowing that she was going to pass away. Best of luck to you...and I am very sorry for your loss.

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Old 07-16-2010, 03:53 PM   #11
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Unhappy My condolences!

I understand how you feel. I lost my mom in November 2008. I had been following the South Beach Diet and doing quite well. However, while I was grieving all I wanted was spinach pizza and chocolate fudge mint cookies all the time! (very non SB too, I might add) Yes, I only wanted to eat my comfort foods then. Maybe, you will too. Maybe not. I grieved hard from November to May 2009 and then had some other things start me all over again--both my hubby and I lost our jobs.

You have had a couple of whammies. You got sick yourself. Then, grandma passed away so suddenly. I can tell you that the hurt isn't any different whether they have been sick for a long time or briefly. Pain of the heart is the worst kind of pain.

Like others here, I agree that what you need now is to grieve. If you can talk with others, in your family or with friends. Cry. On occasion, the tears still well up for me. It will get easier but it takes time. You can always resume your dieting later. There will always be time for that. For now, allow yourself to feel the loss of grandma. Again, I am so very sorry for your recent and unexpected lose.

Last edited by pamatga; 07-16-2010 at 03:54 PM.
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