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-   -   Maybe I can accept this body... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/204163-maybe-i-can-accept-body.html)

ncuneo 06-09-2010 03:54 PM

Maybe I can accept this body...
 
I've been trying to think of ways to accept my new body because I KNOW it's never going to be my dream body. Unfortunatly I let myself be too heavy for too long and I had a baby. So my tummy is a disaster and my upper thighs, butt and breasts are saggy. But here is the thing 1) My arms are leaps and bounds better than I would have ever imagined they could have been. I have virtually no batwings and with a little toning I may have none at all. I am more than comfortable in tank tops. 2) In the right outfit no one would ever know I had saggy anything and I'm married and DH is quite accepting of my body so really...who cares. While yes those parts are saggy, they could always be saggier and since I'm not at goal yet, maybe things will tighten a little. You never know, I could also win the lottery and go to Dr. 90210 for some killer sugery :) While it's very difficult to accept these things I think it's going to be something that is mandatory for me, because it will seem like such a waste to have worked so hard and lost all this weight to say "I'm not happy, because my body is not perfect." A perfect body is not the hand I was delt. I can now wear anything I want (well almost), I can run a 5k, I can keep up with my 22 month old, I mean really, I can do anything I want - so who cares if I'll never be able to wear a bikini, I look freakin hot in a one piece and a sarong. So let's hear it girls, what can you accept?

cherbear 06-09-2010 04:07 PM

I can accept that I'll never have the "yoga butt." Mine is just a little too saggy, because I guess that's where my weight went. But you're right, I look HOT in clothes, and I'm smaller than I was when I got out of Army Basic Training. If my not quite perfect butt is the price, well, ok.

SCraver 06-09-2010 04:24 PM

My tummy sags... My heighest weigh was really about 250. I lost some and my belly sagged right away. Then I went and had a baby... It sags even more. If that wasn't bad enough, it really only sags on my left side - not so much on my right. So it is UNEVEN saggage. Lol!

IDK... I don't know that I will care enough once I reach my goal to go through the pain and expense of surgery. I figure as long as I can tuck my saggage into my bikini bottoms - who really cares? But this is coming from someone who weighs 215 lbs and has no probs wearing a bikini. I figure a bathing suit doesn't cover much more than a two piece. I am chubby either way, so I may as well be comfy. And it is easier for me to spend the day in a two piece than a one piece (you know, for trips to the potty).

I also think about how IF I did have my tummy done... it would still never be PERFECT. There would be scars or who knows what. My mom had her chin done and she still looks at it and wishes it were tighter.

parkedout 06-09-2010 04:34 PM

I haven't lost enough to give this any serious thought---just wanted to APPLAUD you Scraver. A bikini is a state of mind. I never could grasp it. You have it in SPADES.

Nice confidence! :hug:

saef 06-09-2010 04:50 PM

How does the phrase go? Change the things you can change, have the grace to accept the things you can't change.

I haven't seen this applied yet in the context of a total body remodeling job through weight loss, such as we're all undertaking, but hey, it seems to apply.

Let me go off & listen to the song "Unpretty" again for a while, as I'm working on the same issues that you are.

L144S 06-09-2010 06:05 PM

Well good foundation graments can do a world of good! get fitted for a good bra, worth every penny! and other shapeware has come a long way. I too have saggy belly and found some wonderful firm control tank tops that make my cloths look great.

And although it is not talked about much on this board, plastic surgery can be a great option if you are a good canidate and have realistic expectations.

ncuneo 06-09-2010 06:10 PM

Quote:

And although it is not talked about much on this board, plastic surgery can be a great option if you are a good canidate and have realistic expectations.
I would seriously consider this, financially though not an option, but in a few years and once we've decided on if we're going to have more children, maybe. I have already had a c-section, so the scar is already there. I don't know about the girls though, I think I'd rather just use a good bra...I really don't want that "Oh, she's had work done" whispers around me :) I haven't been to impressed with the before and afters I've seen though...I'm not sure plastic surgery would make me comfortable enough to put on a bikini because it doesn't seem to do much for stretch marks (I think lasers might take care of that though). Something to think about I guess...

oodlesofnoodles 06-09-2010 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saef (Post 3332887)
How does the phrase go? Change the things you can change, have the grace to accept the things you can't change.

I think it's accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference. It's from the serenity prayer from AA. I'm not an alcoholic but I always liked that so I got a coin that says that.

RoseRR 06-09-2010 07:24 PM

I have the same feeling as you but I just tell myself I look really good right now and I can be wishing or expect to have a model or a teenager body for that matter.

saef 06-09-2010 07:38 PM

Natalie said
Quote:

I think it's accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference. It's from the serenity prayer from AA. I'm not an alcoholic but I always liked that so I got a coin that says that.
Thanks, Natalie. I'm not an alcoholic, either, but I think there's some similarity with having food issues & a binge eating disorder, which I used to have. Some version of this has stuck in my head. I think it's good advice. The thing with successful weight loss is that we feel empowered because we realize we can change & shape ourselves. But there is a limit to that. Even after resorting to surgery. And once we reach the limit, acceptance seems a wise course. But I think it's hard to attain. I think people go their whole lives working on this.

MeowMix 06-10-2010 03:42 AM

Same boat. Sometimes I think how dare I be anything but thrilled with my loss but then I see my freaky tummy and can't help but be a bit bummed. But streachmarks and saggy bits be damned, I love being thin.

caliyah 06-10-2010 02:46 PM

I just wanted to add -- I work in the health care field and I will say honestly no one has a perfect body --- and celebs wouldn't look perfect without plastic surgery and photoshop. I don't expect to have a perfect body when I'm at goal but so long as I"m looking fabulous and feel good thats all thats important to me. Also -- honestly womens bodys change a lot especially after pregnancy regardless of whether they were skinny or fat before and I've seen that really skinny people can get just as many skin problems after pregnancy as someone who was overweight and lost the weight. Anyway I say love yourself and just rock it.


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