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Old 05-31-2010, 05:06 PM   #16  
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Forgiving myself, I can fully do one day. When fully and truly? No clue. Forgetting and dismissing the disgusted disappointment I have in myself, I cannot. I will not ever forget. I was killing myself, a slow suicide. It's not ok to kill someone else with intent and it was certainly not ok to attempt it on myself. No one can ever convince me otherwise. Having been living as the 'walking dead' with the hurts, scrutiny, judgments, cocooning myself socially, hating on myself, rejection and fears I encountered & acquired since getting fat...man oh man....the emotional baggage I have to work through.
Take this thought, put it in a journal somewhere and use it to your advantage. Remind yourself as you are making healthy, life giving choices, and temptations come, pull it out. Ask yourself what do you want, some food, or the great feeling that comes from being healthy. 5# down starts to feel good, then 10#, and so on. Know that there are going to be struggles, as if anything in life worthwhile is free of them, remind yourself of the high cost of extra weight from reading this, then move forward. One bite at a time. Losing weight is possible for anyone.

I look forward to reading about your successful progress and psoting in the goals met thread:-)
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Old 05-31-2010, 05:20 PM   #17  
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Take this thought, put it in a journal somewhere and use it to your advantage. Remind yourself as you are making healthy, life giving choices, and temptations come, pull it out. Ask yourself what do you want, some food, or the great feeling that comes from being healthy. 5# down starts to feel good, then 10#, and so on. Know that there are going to be struggles, as if anything in life worthwhile is free of them, remind yourself of the high cost of extra weight from reading this, then move forward. One bite at a time. Losing weight is possible for anyone.

I look forward to reading about your successful progress and psoting in the goals met thread:-)
Thanks, Karen! Great idea!

You know what I think? What I really think now that I'm sorting the dust away and uncovering down to the bare bones of this after reading what you offered? There's always a root, right?

Ahem. Ok.

Now don't laugh because I'm totally serious.

I need a boyfriend!


I'm becoming one of those emotionally irritable, deprived women I used to talk smack about! OMG!

:::chants per saef's directive:::: "50'ish more lbs then the manhunt begins...50'ish more lbs then the manhunt begins..."


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Old 05-31-2010, 10:00 PM   #18  
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I have to admit that I like the idea of bashing a box of junk food senseless. You could do it outdoors so you could just hose it away afterwards. If you (or anyone ever does this, please take photos!! lol!)

On the more serious question about forgiving yourself, one thing from the Biggest Loser has stayed with me. One of the contestants was looking at a before photo and said that he couldn't hate that guy because that was the guy who made the decision to turn his life around and without him, the new fit and healthy version wouldn't exist. That really resonated with me and it's what I try to follow too. I don't hate the old me, the one who made this commitment to myself and I don't even hate the me from last month who backslid and put on about 7 lbs and that is what enabled me to turn things around and take off those 7 lbs and then some and keep going. For me, knowing that I can make a mistake but still move forward has been truly empowering, and is why I know that I will succeed on this journey.
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Old 05-31-2010, 10:15 PM   #19  
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I have to admit that I like the idea of bashing a box of junk food senseless. You could do it outdoors so you could just hose it away afterwards. If you (or anyone ever does this, please take photos!! lol!)

On the more serious question about forgiving yourself, one thing from the Biggest Loser has stayed with me. One of the contestants was looking at a before photo and said that he couldn't hate that guy because that was the guy who made the decision to turn his life around and without him, the new fit and healthy version wouldn't exist. That really resonated with me and it's what I try to follow too. I don't hate the old me, the one who made this commitment to myself and I don't even hate the me from last month who backslid and put on about 7 lbs and that is what enabled me to turn things around and take off those 7 lbs and then some and keep going. For me, knowing that I can make a mistake but still move forward has been truly empowering, and is why I know that I will succeed on this journey.
Wow, I've watched The Biggest Loser one time. It appears that I'm missing out on some interesting things to have & hold, as you've received from it. Because what that guy said, really does make sense. It's pretty powerful, really. I'm going to think about that when I exercise in a bit.

What day is that show on?

Well, that's why I am here, Peanuts! Right?! You all have really helped keep my head above water in times when you didn't even know that you were. My mind is feeling more together now ....until the next time I may start to feel unglued.

Thank you! Thank you!

I am never going to live down the Twinkie thing, am I?

I wasn't kidding about the boyfriend thing either. I'm tired of feeling so lonely.

Last edited by MissKelly; 05-31-2010 at 10:17 PM.
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Old 05-31-2010, 10:41 PM   #20  
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I wasn't kidding about the boyfriend thing either. I'm tired of feeling so lonely.
I know exactly how you feel but I am in no shape for dating until I lose a LOT of weight...more then 150 pounds....sadly.
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Old 06-01-2010, 08:36 AM   #21  
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Miss Kelley,

I'm so glad that you are taking what could be negative, destructive emotions and learning how to work through them. Be kind and forgiving to yourself on your journey and feel free to hate that nasty processed food!

I think you have a kindred spirit in Jamie Oliver. If you haven't watched Food Revolution you should!

As to the Biggest Loser you can watch the WHOLE season that just ended ONLINE! Hulu is my friend. The Whole 9th Season of Biggest Loser. I'm not sure how long they are going to keep it all up so watch it while you can.

Oh, and don't worry. Chuck Norris has come to your rescue!

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Old 06-01-2010, 08:59 AM   #22  
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I know exactly how you feel but I am in no shape for dating until I lose a LOT of weight...more then 150 pounds....sadly.
Please don't think this way! Self limiting thinking isn't helpful! Many people can and do find love and healthy, happy relationships at all sizes (I have been able to!). For the record, fat people have good and bad relationships and so do thin ones!
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Old 06-01-2010, 09:18 AM   #23  
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"beating a box of twinkies with a bat" simply would not work for me. I'd just end up licking that bat clean.
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:01 AM   #24  
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Please don't think this way! Self limiting thinking isn't helpful! Many people can and do find love and healthy, happy relationships at all sizes (I have been able to!). For the record, fat people have good and bad relationships and so do thin ones!
Yes, I realize fat people can have a good or a bad relationship but I have several other reasons not to be in a relationship right now and I would like to work on each one in a positive manner beforehand until I feel I am ready for a relationship again. It isn't just about my excess weight. It is about my whole life.
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:19 AM   #25  
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Yes, I realize fat people can have a good or a bad relationship but I have several other reasons not to be in a relationship right now and I would like to work on each one in a positive manner beforehand until I feel I am ready for a relationship again. It isn't just about my excess weight. It is about my whole life.
Cool, but that's not what you said, hence my response. Working on self before getting into a relationship is an important thing to do!
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:35 AM   #26  
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Cool, but that's not what you said, hence my response. Working on self before getting into a relationship is an important thing to do!

I should have expanded my post to be more specific but it was late and I was tired. Apologies.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:26 PM   #27  
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Thanks, Karen! Great idea!

You know what I think? What I really think now that I'm sorting the dust away and uncovering down to the bare bones of this after reading what you offered? There's always a root, right?

Ahem. Ok.

Now don't laugh because I'm totally serious.

I need a boyfriend!


I'm becoming one of those emotionally irritable, deprived women I used to talk smack about! OMG!

:::chants per saef's directive:::: "50'ish more lbs then the manhunt begins...50'ish more lbs then the manhunt begins..."


Why wait for 50 more lbs lost? Start looking now! Your on a positive change in your life and your personality is going to be the same as it is now. Go for some happines now!
I think the anger toward the junk food is either anger at allowing yourself to over do it with the favorite foods, or is a protective measure to keep from eating it. You won't want to eat something you hate right? You have to do whatever will keep you from giving up and going back to your old lifestyle! If I ever go to a store and see a woman chucking containers of ice cream, or jumping up and down on a pack of cheese sticks, I'll give her an understanding smile and a cheer of encouragement.
I look at all my favorite junk foods as old friends that I am fond of. We had some wonderful times, but we grew apart. We still keep in touch once in a while, but not as much as we used to do.
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:02 AM   #28  
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I look at all my favorite junk foods as old friends that I am fond of. We had some wonderful times, but we grew apart. We still keep in touch once in a while, but not as much as we used to do.
I *love* that. It made me laugh and I am stealing it for my sig.
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Old 06-02-2010, 12:22 AM   #29  
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I *love* that. It made me laugh and I am stealing it for my sig.
Aww Thanks Never been quoted before. lol
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