Congratulations for being kinder to yourself and not letting a slip derail you!
I don't like to plan. I like being spontaneous. While I don't plan meals way ahead of time I have structured my eating for moments of abandon. My breakfasts are usually under 300 calories and my lunches are moderate. I don't normally have snacks but I do have healthy snacks on hand just in case I want one. Since I'm conservative during the day by the evening I have a nice calorie buffer. If I haven't had a snack during the day and I really feel like going out to eat then I do. I try to make good choices at the restaurant and recognize that even by doing so I'm going to be consuming far more calories than I would have if I had cooked at home. If I don't go out and I want a special treat at night I'll have a low calorie ice cream treat like skinny cow sandwiches.
I've been eating much healthier for about three months now and while I have an occasional "splurge" meal I don't feel as if I've fallen off the wagon yet. I think it is partially because I prepare, but I don't plan far ahead. So if have an 800 calorie meal at a restaurant on a Wednesday night I don't feel awful about it because Sunday is my splurge evening. (If that makes sense.) But when I'm deciding on any snacking or splurges I think about how I've been eating the days previous. I don't end up going out three nights in a row. It usually is about once a week. I'm carefully tracking my calories including the splurge meals so I know where I stand.
When I do end up eating something higher calorie than I usually would I don't feel anxious about it because I know that I can work it in. I believe because I don't have that anxiety I'm not overindulging. I'll just have and enjoy a much smaller portion of the food than I would have when I was packing on the pounds.
I also don't keep junk in my house and stock up on lots of good food that I can throw together at any time. Going out to eat isn't as tempting when I have so many nutritious foods I could use to have a hot meal on the table in short order.