I I keep my center knowing that in order to gain ONE pound I must first consume 3500cals more than what I burn and that is just not going to happen because i keep my diet tight.
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For me, it takes waaaaay less than a 3500 calorie overage to cause a one pound weight gain. I know that that's how it's *supposed* to be, but it is not the case for me and I think many others as well. Anyway...
Those statistics are a little skewed by the fact that they're not left up to chance - but to CHOICE. You originally gain weight by choice, you than take it off by choice, you keep it off by choice - and you regain it by choice. Choice. Choice. Choice. It's not like it's some medical, uncontrollable statistic. It's not left up to luck either. Choice.
The statistics don't scare me, but they DO keep me aware. Darn aware as to just how easy it IS to regain that weight. But I like that awareness and will use it to my benefit. Just makes me know that this is forever. I will ALWAYS have to be mindful of what I put into my body - and what I don't. But that's okay. I will always have to be mindful of lots of things - my family, my work, my friends, my household, my money.
When I decided to lose the weight, I decided to do it once and for all and PERMANENTLY. Which means I completely overhauled my life. Changed my eating habits - and I knew that it would be forever - or for at least as long as I want to remain slim and trim. And since I LOVE my life now, I WANT to remain slim and trim for a loooong time. We'll talk about it when I'm in my 80'S .
Luckily, I don't find it all that hard to maintain. I know what needs to be done and I do it - willingly. I've found great healthy foods that I love. This is no hardship, no burden.
The planning is VITAL to me. And it has become automatic and habitual. I eat this and don't eat that. I'm a careful eater.
Are there more challenging time? You betcha. But so what. There are more challenging times with my family, my occupation, my friends, my everything - so what NOT with my food intake?
Choice. Not chance. Statistics? Feh. SO incredibly beatable, provided we choose to, that is.
Its funny when I was overweight in all my dreams I was thin and I'd wake up depressed to the reality that I wasn't. Now that I've gotten very close to my goal (doesn't count now because I'm preggo) I have dreams of being where I was before losing the weight. I wake up being depressed wondering how I could let myself get that way again, only to realize I was close to my goal.
But like someone mentioned, I know where I failed that led me to lose control. I pretty much stopped caring and just let things happen thinking it wasn't so bad and I could fix it when I was done feeling sorry for myself. Then I found out I'd gone too far and it seemed impossible to fix.
Now that I'm pregnant I'm mindful of everything I do and eat. I am terrified of looking the way I did. I have pictures of myself in facebook that I'll go back to to remind me of what I looked like. I also have pictures of myself of what I looked like when I was close to my goal.
I still watch weight loss shows. I've been on two shows on FLN I think they're called "Bulging Bride" and "10 lb boot camp" not sure on the last one but I know it has to do with 10 lbs. LOL My dh will tell me I'm no longer that person anymore and that I should stop watching them. The thing is I still love watching these women lose that weight and rejoicing with them for the weight they tried so hard to lose. I know how that feels. And plus its a reminder of how hard it was to lose the weight I did as well.
It does scare me to think of ever weighing that weight again.
I've been on the diet rollercoaster since I was 5 years old, and the only way I knew to diet was crash dieting. I had experience losing it fast. I had experience gaining it fast, but I had absolutely no experience with moderation.
I only had two motivation levels too. Gung-Ho obsessively committed, and "This is pointless, I'm never going to be thin, I might as well eat everything in sight."
This time, I decided to diet "backwards." In stead of doing everything in my power to lose weight, and worry about maintenance in the future - I decided that I would only make healthy changes that I could see making for the foreseeable future (whether or not I saw any weight loss as a result of it). I was so burnt out on dieting, that my first few changes didn't result in any weight loss, but because I wasn't judging myself and every choice based on the degree of weight loss it produced, I also removed the frustration "dieting" usually caused.
For me, I tried to take weight loss off the table as the main focus. I refused to be upset if the scale wasn't rapidly moving downward. I celebrated maintenance and loss as successes from the beginning.
I'm losing weight slowly as a result. A pace many people wouldn't tolerate. A pace I wouldn't have tolerated when only rapid weight loss would satisfy me (and if I'm honest with mhy self, even rapid weight loss was too slow to satisfy me - I always wanted bigger and bigger losses.) But, I'm not afraid of maintenance anymore, because I'm practicing it all along the way, this time.
I have never had more than a two to three year "streak" of weight maintenance (and it was a very high weight that I maintained). I've never been on a losing streak for more than about 18 months (from start of weight loss to giving up). It's been nearly six years since I had a significant gain (I have small gains, and around TOM can gain up to 10 lbs, but I've never had a whole month go by at a higher weight than my lowest weight so far).
Slow isn't for everyone. "Backward" isn't for everyone, but it's been perfect for me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that weight loss isn't my only goal -for example, when I feel that exercise "isn't worth it" because it causes a temporary water-retention weight gain, and I don't see it helping the weight loss in the short term (the short term has always been the only thing I could see).
While I'm not worried about gaining it back, I do know the potential is there. If I ever decide that my choices aren't being effective or aren't worth the effort, I will give up. If I give up, I will regain. As a result, I no longer see frustration as the inevitable result of weight management. It's normal, but it isn't inevitable (I can find ways to be less frustrated). Only giving up isn't an option. I can choose to change my goals, but I won't let myself decide that the struggle isn't worth it. Every time I start to feel the hopeless kind of frustration (the kind that has always inspired me to quit in the past), I remind myself of all of the wonderful things weight loss so far has added to my life. Why it does matter. Even if I don't lose a single pound more, I don't want to go back to asthma, COPD, sleep apnea, being unable to take a shower standing up or barely being able to shampoo my hair (the day I was able to use a shampoo and conditioner instead of a combination product because I had regained strength in my arms was a very good day. The day I was able to take a "normal" shower without a shower chair was even better).
I don't dwell on the mistakes that put me at nearly 400 lbs (because when I do, I start to feel that awful guilt and hopelessness that makes me feel unworthy of anything better in my life).
I've learned that weight loss is not the same struggle for everyone. I've learned that weight loss may not even be the same struggle for an individual. I've changed my goals and my tactics several times as I've gone. I started South Beach, and lost some at first, but stopped losing because I don't seem to be able to identify "real" hunger. In the past, every time I quit one diet, I regained before starting the next one. It was a dieting "tradition" that I initially thought was inevitable. Regaining was so much a part of the ritual that I almost didn't catch myself. I expected to regain before starting fresh, and I almost let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy - almost. But another thing I decided "this time" was that I was not going to take any weight loss stereotype as gospel. I was not going to regain in response to a situation, just because I had always done so in the past.
Rambling on, as usual but I think my point hasn't been lost. The weight loss journey is what you make of it, and how you're doing compared to anyone else, just is not important. This isn't a race that we win or lose based on how well everyone else is doing (or not doing). This is a race only with ourselves and the consequences of prior choices. We can learn from the other racers, but we're not doing it wrong if our chosen path is different than everyone else.
Oh my gosh, I'm so scared of this, too! I try to focus on two things: 1) Let's LOSE the weight first before worrying about it too much, and 2) I'm making changes I intend to keep for forever. For example, for many reasons I have mostly cut sugar from my diet, and it's worked really, really for me. I see no reason to add that back in. Since that has stopped my insane snack cravings, I'm hoping that alone will prevent me from over eating. Since I love lean meats and veggies to begin with, sticking to those shouldn't be a problem either.
Because truthfully, what I'm most afraid of is having to calorie count every day for the rest of my life. I probably always will to some degree from habit, but I want my food choices to be more natural, I don't want to have to think about it as much as I do now.
Like I said, I have a long way to go, so I try not to let worry about maintaining effect the decisions I make now. But you're right, it is good to be prepared. I think most people who gain it back do so because they never thought about weight loss in the long term. But we are, and we are knowledgeable, and with knowledge, comes power. And with power comes great responsibility. And with responsibility comes... ... weight loss??? Hmm... maybe I should have slept longer today.
My biggest safe guard toward maintenance, I think, is going to be daily weighing. I can't imagine burying me head in the sand when I have to unbury it every morning.
I do, and to me this is a very real, viable fear. Obesity runs in the family and as someone who spent most of her life at nearly or over 400 lbs, it seems overwhelming at times.
I'm trying to manage my weight loss as disease. If I was diabetic, I'd try to watch what I eat, take my medication etc. Well, the same as with my weight. I do slip up, even badly but I get back on again. I don't want an "all or nothing" black & white thinking when it comes to weight loss/maintaining my goal. My fitness and quality of life has improved so much from not being at my high weight, so I remind myself constantly.
I think the worst thing someone can do is look at food as "good" or "bad". Bleh. I keep my center knowing that in order to gain ONE pound I must first consume 3500cals more than what I burn and that is just not going to happen because i keep my diet tight. I know what I consume, alternatives to please me. I personally watch my calories everyday, and right now I eat in a deficit because I still want to lose weight, however, one day a week I do eat at maintanence so that I can go out, be social, have drinks ect. I typically dont like to eat out and if I do I make the best choices I can and I dont go over board. Its a balance. The reason why people fail, or gain the weight back is because they dont make it a lifestyle. They resort to a short time of deprivation and then flip out and make horrible choices when they reach their goals. So. Go out. Have fun. Share dessert, eat less dinner to have dessert. Me? I dont do dessert because Id rather have a drink. But there is no need to look at food as "bad" and avoid the things you like rather than learn how to practice moderation.
Edit to say : until I started seriously calorie counting it was hard to not have certain things. But now... I have a bodybugg, I know relatively what I burn through exercise, and the relative calorie count of most things and I ask myself " is it worth it" most times, answers are no.
I agree with you, to a point. I can look at a food and say, is this going to impact my body in a positive or neg manner. A pear is going to benefit me more than a cookie, so I see a cookie as a "bad" snack, but yet, there are times, I just want a cookie, and will have one, but I will either excersize more, or be more careful with the foods I comsume that day. That's all I meant for good vs bad. That what I see as bad, just won't do good for my body.
The gaining of one pound thing, does not ring true with me. I stay right around 1600 a day, and excersize 5 days a week, yet, I've lost 8 pounds in the last year. There is really no explanation for it, as I've done what I should to have lost more than that.
To clarify, I am 100% committed to eating how I eat for the rest of my life. But, how I eat does include indulgences and treats. I don't eat any foods I consider "bad". My "bad" foods include stuff like movie theater snacks, fast food food, sugary soda, most packaged baked goods - foods that I have eliminated from my life because for me, it was easy and I don't miss them. I would expect other people would make other choices to fit with their lives. I don't believe there is one correct path.
Now that I am in maintenance, I do have treats and a nice dinner in a restaurant once a week, almost everything I eat is "on plan" but for me, a nice dinner with dessert is just as "on plan" as greek yogurt for breakfast. I also eat very carefully during the week to "afford" these treat meals, though. That really is key for my maintenance.
Even though I am eating more indulgently that usual (glass of wine, dessert) I am still mindful. I would never order cheesey enchiladas at a Mexican place,
or any chips! or something like a Bloomin' Onion at Outback, I am just too aware of calories to do it! Plus, it's hard for me to stop eating tortilla chips once I start, so I just don't start. For mexican food, when I'm eating strictly on plan (which I did during weight loss) I would get a bowl of black bean soup (no cheese), pico de gallo and some soft flour tortillas and make my own soft tacos.
For movies, I take a snack with me, because there is no movie theater snack that is worth it to me for the calorie cost/enjoyment ratio. Now, molten lava cake in a restaurant? that is a calorie/enjoyment ratio that works for me. Movie theater popcorn which I never really liked and never ate even in my old life? Chocolate snacks which now taste waxy to me? Twizzlers? Always hated them. I've started telling myself that I don't need a snack in a movie, but if I do want one, I usually eat dried mango or a Cliff Nectar bar. I usually only take a snack if I am going to be in the theater during normal snack time. Movies are not a reason to eat! I am trying to break the movie = food association for me, but YMMV.
And of course, I am human. I have occasional slip ups where I do eat things which I don't plan to eat, social situations are the toughest for me too. I would say I'm 95% on plan, 5% "oops!" The other key for me is forgiving myself of occasional lapses (someone brought in chocolate covered macadamia clusters to work from a HI vacation, I had one last week - not on plan, but not the end of the world, either) and getting RIGHT BACK on track. I never think "well, I goofed up today, I'll just start over tomorrow." I know the madness of that approach for me. Tomorrow becomes Monday, which becomes next month etc etc.
Even still, I don't eat my "forever no's" - ever. Because, to repeat, they were easy to give up and I don't miss them. I didn't even try to give up dark chocolate or red wine or peanut butter or the occasional scoop of ice cream. Because I would miss those foods and it would be hard!
What works for me might not work for anyone else, I deeply feel this path is very personal and has to fit each individual. Mine works beautifully for me, March was my fifth maintenance anniversary!
Thank you Glory! And many congrats on your anniversary. That is just awesome!
I agree with you, to a point. I can look at a food and say, is this going to impact my body in a positive or neg manner. A pear is going to benefit me more than a cookie, so I see a cookie as a "bad" snack, but yet, there are times, I just want a cookie, and will have one, but I will either excersize more, or be more careful with the foods I comsume that day. That's all I meant for good vs bad. That what I see as bad, just won't do good for my body.
The gaining of one pound thing, does not ring true with me. I stay right around 1600 a day, and excersize 5 days a week, yet, I've lost 8 pounds in the last year. There is really no explanation for it, as I've done what I should to have lost more than that.
Borntofly, I just responded to you in a different post, about the plateau - I asked if you were strictly on plan for that whole time and it seems as if you have been! Wow. I give you tons of credit - sticking to plan with a somewhat slow-ish loss.
I think you may have to consider changing up your plan then and lowering those calories. You are MUCH smaller now and you just don't require as many calories. It's going to take less calories going into you to keep on creating a deficit. Perhaps lowering those calories by a couple of hundred a day will get the scale moving downward for you in a timelier fashion.
And I agree with you. Certain foods, ARE better for me than others, for lack of a better word, especially when using the internet and not to make it too wordy - *good* and *bad* kinda works.
Oddly, no. I didn't put it all together until a year ago and now that I've been eating and exercising this way for a year, I can't imagine NOT continuing this way. While I will be very, very happy to hit my goal and maybe set a lower one, it's not because I want to stop any part of my plan.
Borntofly, I just responded to you in a different post, about the plateau - I asked if you were strictly on plan for that whole time and it seems as if you have been! Wow. I give you tons of credit - sticking to plan with a somewhat slow-ish loss.
I think you may have to consider changing up your plan then and lowering those calories. You are MUCH smaller now and you just don't require as many calories. It's going to take less calories going into you to keep on creating a deficit. Perhaps lowering those calories by a couple of hundred a day will get the scale moving downward for you in a timelier fashion.
And I agree with you. Certain foods, ARE better for me than others, for lack of a better word, especially when using the internet and not to make it too wordy - *good* and *bad* kinda works.
I can't say that 100% of the time I stay within my calories. I do know I need to get better with this. My biggest weakness's is social times. A friend wants to go out for pizza, or go get ice cream. Since I don't want to be couped up in the house, I go. I don't go if I've already eaten, so it's not like I'm eating two lunches, or two dinners. I always always always work out. Shoot, I did 6 miles on the bike tonight and 1.5 miles on the eliptical, and weights.
If I don't go out to eat, I eat pretty dang clean too. For instance, today, I had a pear, and 3 prunes, and coffee for b-fest, Lunch was a salad, with 3 oz of chicken breast, a tomato and light Italian dressing. Snack was about 15 baby carrots with about 3 tablespoons of hummus. Around 4 I had a small handful of trail mix. Now I'm done with my workout and enjoying a big yoplait yogart frozen smoothie. That'll be it for the day. If I look at the daily plate, that is a total of 1521, and I didn't count in that I worked out for 90 minutes.
It's frustrating, there are times when I want pizza, or a chicken sandwich, smoothies for dinner really does get pretty old......but believe me, those things are few and far between.
And yes, it's been exactly a year that I have lost roughly 8 pounds since while following this plan, and as you know by looking at my ticker, I have a ways to go yet....
ETA: maybe I do need to lower the calories, but with a activity level of lightly active, and to lose 1.5 pounds a week, it says 1653. Also, I'm more than lightly active.
Last edited by Smiling_Sara; 04-27-2010 at 08:21 PM.
I can't say that 100% of the time I stay within my calories. I do know I need to get better with this. My biggest weakness's is social times. A friend wants to go out for pizza, or go get ice cream. Since I don't want to be couped up in the house, I go. I don't go if I've already eaten, so it's not like I'm eating two lunches, or two dinners. I always always always work out. Shoot, I did 6 miles on the bike tonight and 1.5 miles on the eliptical, and weights.
If I don't go out to eat, I eat pretty dang clean too. For instance, today, I had a pear, and 3 prunes, and coffee for b-fest, Lunch was a salad, with 3 oz of chicken breast, a tomato and light Italian dressing. Snack was about 15 baby carrots with about 3 tablespoons of hummus. Around 4 I had a small handful of trail mix. Now I'm done with my workout and enjoying a big yoplait yogart frozen smoothie. That'll be it for the day. If I look at the daily plate, that is a total of 1521, and I didn't count in that I worked out for 90 minutes.
It's frustrating, there are times when I want pizza, or a chicken sandwich, smoothies for dinner really does get pretty old......but believe me, those things are few and far between.
And yes, it's been exactly a year that I have lost roughly 8 pounds since while following this plan, and as you know by looking at my ticker, I have a ways to go yet....
ETA: maybe I do need to lower the calories, but with a activity level of lightly active, and to lose 1.5 pounds a week, it says 1653. Also, I'm more than lightly active.
Forget what *it* says. The only one you can go by is you and what YOUR body tells you.
I find those calorie calculator thingy-s. HIGHLY inaccurate and always telling folks more calories than they need. They are merely guesstimates and shouldn't be viewed as written in stone.
I really think you should consider going down to 1400 calories for 2 - 3 weeks and monitor your results. But really, really, REALLY adhere to it. Give it a shot - what have you got to lose (except for some unwanted pounds).
And if you switch around your calories, you can get just as much volume (even more) and you will not even notice the difference. Switch the prunes to some fresh fruit, the 3 tablespoons of hummus to salasa, instead of trail mix - cucumber salad. Play around with your calories. You've got some room.
Oh and as for those smoothies every night - yeah, I could see where that could get pretty old. Why not try changing things up a bit?? A lovely dinner of butternut squash soup, chicken marsala and roasted string beans. Or sweet and sour chicken meatballs served over spaghetti squash with a nice side salad. A turkey breast wrap with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and mustard with a small sweet potato.
Get re-excited about what you set out to accomplish, revamp your menu a bit and make your dreams become reality.
And I agree with you. Certain foods, ARE better for me than others, for lack of a better word, especially when using the internet and not to make it too wordy - *good* and *bad* kinda works.
I really try to avoid them because for me (and I suspect many of us) they are firmly committed to all the weird emotional baggage we carry about weight: I love my mom, and she's a great woman in many, many ways, but in our household being "good" meant "not eating too much" and being "bad" meant "eating junk food". It puts so much emotion into eating "bad" foods--guilt and shame, yes, but also sneaky pleasure and release of tension, rebellion and independence.
Learning to see a cookie as a cookie, not as a statement about my moral character, not as a huge ethical dilemma, is one of the most important things I've done this last year. It's much easier to resist a cookie, and when I do eat one, it gives me a mild gustatory pleasure instead of this huge emotional roller coaster--which makes resisting the next one that much easier.
Shmead, I definitely see and hear you loud and clear. I try not to use the words good and bad either, but I did see what the person who did use them was getting at.
I remember what Glory, Rockin' Robin and so many other maintainers post. To keep the weight off, I must, MUST do what I did to take the weight off. Making the right choices with my nutrition and exercise, is paramount in my life. In fact, it's the top of my list. Does it mean I won't ever have treats or overeat? Absolutely not. I am commited however, to making the healthiest decision the vast majority of the time.
I also remember how miserable I was at my largest. I lacked energy, stamina--was depressed, didn't want to be around others--didn't want to do things for others, hid from the camera and never mind shopping and getting dressed. I lost sight of myself actually. I was an eater, besides that I didn't know much about myself. I finally realized one day that food FLAT was NOT working for me. It was getting me nowhere fast.
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