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Old 03-26-2010, 01:39 PM   #1  
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Unhappy Death and Dieting...needin' a lil help

So my grandmother died wednesday night, and now i can't seem to get off my couch...i'm assuming this is a stage of depression as i just have NO energy or the will to do anything but lay here. she was 94, went peacefully thank GOD and is most definitely in a better place. even though it wasn't a TOTAL surprise, i still wasn't ready...i didn't get to say goodbye and now i have NO grandparents. i realized my tears and depression are for ME not her as she is now with my grandfather and much happier...but i just can't seem to DO anything, even taking a shower has become this monumental task. i have eaten horribly yesterday and this morning...and the thought of exercising is comparable to climbing Mt. Everest. I am SO angry with myself because i was doing SO good...i was FINALLY in "the zone", eating right, exercising and just feeling good about myself for the first time in a looong time. Now i'm afraid i'm going to go right back into my old ways. How have my fellow boardmates dealt with death and dieting and HOW do you climb back up on that horse through the depression?
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Old 03-26-2010, 01:59 PM   #2  
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I'm so sorry about your grandmother.

Wednesday night was not very long ago - it's understandable that you need time to grieve, to adjust.

If/when you find yourself able to cope a little better, try to remember that eating well and exercise will only help you in this situation. You'll feel better physically, even if your heart still hurts. Just do a little at a time until it gets easier. Go for a walk with a friend. Cook some comfort food that's also healthy. If you can't manage this stuff on your own, can you call someone to help?

Give yourself time to feel better, but don't be afraid to try to push yourself a little too. In my own experience (and this is just for ME, others may have different views) no good comes of just sitting on the couch being sad. I have more success feeling better, sooner, if I talk to people, and get active, and surround myself with friends and family. The last big personal crisis I went through involved a family member, and I was away at a girls' weekend. It was the perfect place to be. We chatted, shopped, cooked, napped, watched movies, read magazines, and did stuff that probably seemed trite, but was very helpful in keeping my mind off the situation, or assisting me to talk through it.

Good luck. *hugs*
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Old 03-26-2010, 02:07 PM   #3  
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I am so sorry for your loss. You are grieving, this is normal when we lose someone we love. It will get better. In the meantime take care of yourself. Try to eat, even if you don't feel like it . Eat healthy food, as much or as little as you like at this time. Take one day at a time.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:27 PM   #4  
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I'm so sorry about your grandmother. My mom passed away in 1996, and it was extremely tough (suddenly in her sleep, of a heart attack). It took me time to get past the grieving. I feel like she's still with me in spirit (and never left), and would not want me to suffer. I think getting back into your eating and exercise routines actually will help you cope. Hang in there!
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:37 PM   #5  
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I am so sorry for your loss. It takes some time to grieve and to get to acceptance. It's normal. I'm hoping maybe you have some "real lifwe" support there? Someone, even a minister or a counselor if necessary that you might be able to talk to. I know sometimes we feel like we dont' want to bother anyone or that nobody else will understand, but if you have a friend you can call who will sit with you for a little while or go for a short walk even, it may help some. And people are always ready and willing to help in times of crisis. it's amazing how much support we can get when we ask for it.

Please take care of yourself and just get through it a minute at a time and inch by inch and eventually it won't be as painful.

Barb
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Old 03-29-2010, 08:31 AM   #6  
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I am so sorry about your grandmother. I have just recently posted regarding my mom, I lost her unexpectantly on January 25th, in front of myself and my daughter. Lost my step-dad 5 months ago, my dad 6 years ago. I posted to the board, and it helped hearing from everyone else. I gained 11 pounds quickly, odd, for the first week I ate nothing. Then, bam! I just ate, 24/7. I binged and binged, not caring, not taking care of myself, just concentrating on my daughter and my brother, who took it incredibly hard. I forgot about myself. I am still struggling daily, have not summoned up the energy to work out, but I have started back on my eating plan. It's almost if I am punishing myself for still being here when my mom is not. All I can offer is what others are saying here, that with each day that comes you tend to find a little more strength inside you. I still have those days where I fail miserably, but I try each morning to move ahead, allow myself the moments to grieve, and tell myself that my mom would want me to heal and take care of myself. The biggest thing to remember is not to punish yourself for what you are feeling, and perhaps slowly, in the smallest of steps, you can start to return to your health. This board is filled with wonderful people, who will always be here when you need encouragement.
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Old 03-31-2010, 03:09 PM   #7  
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Thank you all very much for your kind words and support. i have been out of town for the funeral the past few days and this is the first chance i've had to post. i know you are right...i WILL feel better if i work out, and i'm getting my butt to the gym tonight. it will be the first time since it happened a week ago. i have to get back on track...she would WANT me to get back on track. thank you again...so much. :-)
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