I agree wholeheartedly! Even when we're heading out for dinner, if I'm ravenous I grab a string cheese or a few spoonsful of cottage cheese. I know that if I'm THAT hungry, it will affect not only me eating the bread (or chips, or small children, or whatever is put in front of me), it will affect what I order, and how quickly I eat when served. I know myself well enough to know I need to blunt that bright edge of hunger so I am more sure of making healthy choices.

I had much of the same reaction when I first started dieting, because going out to eat is as much (or more) social as it is for satisfying hunger. I want to enjoy it, not be overly-focused on what I can and can't eat.

So what I've done is think about the main TYPES of restaurants we go to, rather than the specific ones. Instead of looking up Applebees or TGIFridays, I'll think about the sorts of food that type of restaurant always serves. Then I pick two or three things that I know will be available at that type of restaurant that will fit within my plan. (Yes, sauces and sides make a difference, but those can be left off or put on the side in almost all instances).

So, for instance, I can usually find grilled fish or a grilled chicken dish, and often a veggie burger, at "American" restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. I get chicken kebab at Greek places, and burgers or salads at diners. I get chicken and broccoli at Chinese, and beef teriyaki or fish at Japanese. I get fajitas at Tex-Mex, with a side of beans. You get the idea.

Now that doesn't mean that I always get those things at those restaurants. I may find something else on the menu that fits my plan or my mood better. But I always have SOMETHING to order no matter where we go.

It's helped me a lot when eating out, and I don't have to obsess as much as I used to.

I identify with this, totally. I usually get a salad when we go out, with no dressing. I can do that at home, add more things, and customize it to my liking. Don't get me wrong, I love an awesome salad. But getting a salad at a restaurant usually isn't going to be as awesome. And even if it is, it's still just a salad, and well, I could make that at home. I've just been IM'ing with DH about dinner tonight about how I want to go out, but am so sick of salad. We're thinking maybe sushi at the Korean restaurant. That would be good, and pretty low-cal...

I'm now a complete restaurant snob. Do not bother me if you want to go to Applebees. It's just not worth the calories, partly because I can make something better & lower-calorie at home. Call me up if you've got a reservation at someplace truly excellent. Anyway they're more likely to have something on the menu that I can actually eat, and they're likely to be more amenable to customizing it, and they're more used to serving wealthy people who are concerned about their food, not to mention finicky skinny rich women. I'm not skinny or rich but I'm finicky, like the cat in the cat food commercials, and I only want to bother with places where I can actually eat, rather than getting token food & looking on at everyone else eating & pretending it's all about socializing. It isn't. It's also about the food. And I am not lying to myself about it, particularly if I'm also paying for this so-called experience.

I order a reasonably healthy entree and eat a reasonable size portion. If that means I have 3 meals out of my entree, that's great. 2 more days where I don't need to sit and prepare lunch for myself :-)

I don't really stress too much about going out to eat, but that said, it's REALLY rare for me. I don't know many people around the area I live, so if I go out, it's a treat. I know what entrees are terrible (chimichangas, pastas, etc) and what I can get away with (chicken breast, grilled fish, even steaks - usually with veggies or maybe a baked potato).

But I'm probably not as diligent as most of you! I just know that to diet properly, it has to be maintainable. The once or twice a month I actually go out to eat, I want to be able to do that.

I haven't been out to a restaurant in the month-ish since I started. I've been to potlucks a couple of times, but I took a dish for everyone else to share and made my own food to take along. Thankfully we aren't big eat-outers anyhow, and I am a good cook.

There isn't a whole lot to do here either in the winter in the evenings. It's pretty much a summer tourist town. What I've ended up doing is getting friends to come here for dinner and they bring their own wine and dessert for everyone. I make the meal, and it's always "diet" but the only reason they know is becuase they know I am strictly low cal these days. I don't eat dessert, but my hubby does. Or I have something that I can count while they all eat whatever was brought. They are more worried than I am, LOL! It doesn't bother me to watch other people eat stuff I don't eat. And I only eat what I can count myself. Period. It has to be this way for now and it's just not worth it to me to try to go to a restaurant, or even eat food my friends have cooked. Their idea of diet food may not be the same as mine.

After dinner, we all play Wii or board games and we have the bestest times. Everyone still wants to come to our house to eat, so the food must be okay. And it's cheaper than eating out. I cna feed a crew for the price of a couple of entrees.

Maybe you and your SO could invite some friends over for game night. Your friends could bring veggies cut up and you make the (diet) dip. Bake some flour tortillas to use as your own dippers if they all want chips and dip. And so on. You get the idea.

Hope that helps. I was kinda long-winded...again...or still.

Barb

I can totally understand that restaurants were you 'diet free zone'. I think over time as you are eating healthier and such your taste buds will change and you won't find rich restaurant meals particularly tasty. You'll learn to love healthy lean meals.

Another thing worth considering, is eating out only at expensive restaurants where they serve couture food or something very special. Which means that you may only be able to go once a month or every other month. Saef's post made me think of it. I know for me, once I started eating out at nice restaurants mediocre food places never did it for me... so when I go to those places now... their foods aren't tempting and I'm happy to order salad and enjoy the company I'm with. Real gourmet food is a treat worth splurging calories on... the portions are smaller and since it's a less frequent indulgence it's okay.

I'm kind of like that with junk food too. I only eat the expensive naughty stuff. Because it's expensive it makes it less frequent and if the cheaper stuff is right in front of me I won't even touch it because I know it's crap compared to good stuff and my taste buds know better. For example Lays chips vs Kettle chips or snickers vs gourmet chocolate. Just a thought.

Since I eat out 3 meals a week on the road chaning how I view restaurants has been one of the most challenging things for me to overcome.

So I built a plan that's worked pretty well for me. I started with 3 fundamental assumptions.

1. I will still have to eat in restaurants quite often
2. If I keep eating the way I do now I will continue getting fatter
3. If I force myself to choose only the "best" option every time regardless of taste/hunger I will never stay on plan

So I focused on finding a middle ground to save a lot of calories but not do that crazy stuff they do on the biggest loser ("I'll have just the ahi tuna with no seasoning")

So the general restaurant rules I follow are as such.

1. Only salads (and try to do this for filler) as appetizer. Few exceptions like raw shrimp or really healthy soup if I can confirm it.

2. Always skip the bread, if possible ask them to not bring it.

3. Order a dish where the protein is by itself (preferably grilled). By this I mean no pasta dishes, lasagna, pizza. But enjoy the protein!!! as it comes whether salmon, steak, grilled chicken, lamb, etc.

4. Always substitue starch/potato side with a veggie side (this typically doubles up the veggies).

That's it, I know that some things are beyond my reasonable ability to change at this point. Eating less than usual I'm not going to leave half on my plate. I'm not going to overly stress about how things are cooked. I'm not going to flip out if my green beans have some bacon in them...

I've found this to be a very livable situation, it does mean I have to adjust other meals to stay inside of my calories, but I still enjoy eating out and don't feel miserable at the restaurant.

I think that it's easier to eat out with places like Chilils and Applebees, etc, having lower-calorie options (supposedly). I actually look a look at some of the nutritional information for Chilis after I read this, because it's one of my favorite restaurants, and I think my mouth dropped. Some of my old favorites were like an upwards of 1,800 calories. And I would eat it all. I think that I can agree with you on the cooking at home part.

I cheat once a week. When I do we go out to a restaurant. Example, this past Saturday we went - I had a 32oz beer, a salad, then my main meal (12oz steak with shrimp and mushrooms), and then I got a big brownie desert (big enough for 2 ppl, I ate it all myself!). Bill was $30. Waitress asked how in the world I ate all of it and was so thin. I mentioned six out of seven days of the week I eat about 2,000 calories with an hour to hour and a half of exercise. I eat whole grains, veggies, fruits, and chicken. And water. 4 liters of water a day. Never gone up or down in weight from a cheat day yet!