Do you feel like new people you meet don't really know you?
 

I kinda of feel like the new people I meet don't really know *me* because they didn't know the heavy *me*, they don't know what I've been through the last 4 years. Sometimes I want to tell right away, hey I've lost xnumber of lbs and other times I feel like I'd be mortified if they know how big I once was. Do you feel like since losing weight you've either lost some of your identity or your identity has changed? I truely feel like a different person and I feel like as soon as my mind's image of myself catches up with what I really look like now I'm going to be even more different and more confident. I think that personally and professionally I'm going to have the confidence to do a lot of things I didn't think I would...I'm always saying...I'm not a people person...I'm really not sure this is true of if I've been hiding behind my weight for so long that I just started believing this. This has been such a life changing experience for me and I've really been reflecting a lot lately as that 100lb milestone is nearing.

Oh Honey...this one haunts me. ;)

I have issues with this. Living in a rural community, I do know most of the locals, and they ALL know my story of morbid obesity.

My husband and I have recently met a few new (to the area) couples that don't know the fat Lori...only the average size Lori. I don't want them to know, but it is inevitable. Being such a small community, someone will tell them. Both couples are "normal sized" and so nice. I'm so afraid to find out that they they might be fat bashers or freak out that I was once almost 200 pounds heavier. I like having friends that don't look at the food I eat, or question me, or police my choices. To them I'm just a normal chick. It's nice, but I'm very nervous of what will happen when they find out the truth.

I'm pathetic. lol :)

For me, I find it kind of refreshing to meet new people, who don't know where I came from- so to say- and who don't know about my journey. This has been life-changing as you said, but my change has been so fast, that the people who I have known and who know about my journey sometimes see me as different or will say I have changed. I will admit that I am more confident, personally and professionally as you also identified, but I always say to them, "I am the same person." I have always been quiet and introverted, and still see myself as this way. I don't know if it is just because I have always been big and have hid behind my weight like you said, and maybe I still see myself as I used to be... Or am comfortable with that identity as that is how I have always been, that's the only way I've ever known myself to be... I think about this issue often, and it doesn't seem to get any clearer! I just do not see my self identity as being that much different as I get smaller.

I can totally relate to you on this. I went from being thin and fit to being almost 200 lbs & Incredibly unfit... words can't express the difficulty in that ... Going from Wearing anything I wanted, talking to whoever I wanted, ... & then becoming a hermit because I didn't want anyone to see me.

NOW, I am losing that weight and, about 40 lbs lighter, I'm so shy, timid & nervous. I can't figure out if I LIKE being alone or if I just got used to being alone. I feel like I can't socialize like I used to. My old friends wouldn't get me anymore. And, like you mentioned, I sometimes wish I could just fill everyone in on my struggles the past couple of yrs... then they'd get it. Then I wouldn't have to be nervous about people wondering about me... because they'd know!
I really just want to feel normal again & I think we're all working toward that. Once these transformations of body and health come together... we can totally rehabilitate these feelings and esteems of ours, you know? Good luck to you! I share your struggle girl ;o)

Much of my adult life I was "normal" or "overweight." So I still think of myself that way. I feel that people who knew me under those circumstances knew the "real me" more than those who only knew me when I was obese.

After I had lost that 50 pounds, we moved to another town. It was the best thing! Everyone in the new community sees me as "normal." I don't get all those comments "Oh, you look so good now, blah blah blah." Those were nice comments to get until people overdid it... But now no one checks out what I'm eating, no one says "Oh, don't lose anymore, you're getting too thin." I just get to be more like what I see as the real me.

And I have no desire to tell anyone about my weight loss.

Jay

I think when I first lost weight I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I did tell people I didn't know. But it didn't always go well. Telling the overweight woman at the clothing store about your successful 100 pound weight loss actually makes her feel defensive, even if I mean nothing by it, other than to celebrate because I finally fit in "misses" sizes.

So, I tend not to tell people anymore. But it does come up from time to time, in part because everyone else in my life knows about it...

ncuneo, yes, I feel the same way. I feel that those who only know my current weight don't really know me. When I introduce myself I sometimes feel like saying "Hi, I used to be 60 lbs heavier".

I hate to say I feel like a poser but I am still fascinated by my slender body as if it's not mine. So, that kind of manifests itself in other areas... like when I meet new people. I feel like they don't really know me unless they know that I was 60 lbs heavier.

Maybe this feeling will go away soon.

It's frustrating because I haven't always been over 200 lbs but I'm most definitely smaller than I was at my previously smallest adult weight. So, it's like I've never been *this* size and I've never felt *this* small. I guess it's just something I'll have to get used to.

A good problem to have, I'll say. :-)

Oh yes.

I feel that losing 165 pounds REALLY changed me. It's a *part* of me and my *make-up*. The few people that didn't know me prior, I do feel like there's a piece of my puzzle missing in their eyes. A piece of my puzzle that I was ABLE to do it, which will give them some insight into ME and where I'm coming from. And a piece of my history.

It's very weird. On one hand it's kinda nice that they didn't know me when I was so heavy and yes, I am not policed and scrutinized. But then again, they don't know the whole story since that don't know that I was once *that way*.

It's very strange. And there is not one person in *real life* who could relate to this. It's all very strange some times.:dizzy:

No, I don't mind.

If you make new friends as you go on through your life, aren't some of them always going to have missed certain parts of your life?

Some friends date back to my smalltown upbringing & have known me since seventh grade. Some I met later in college, and then others in grad school, and others at various jobs & others are connected with interest of mine that I pursue, hobbies & passions & such.

It's okay not to be completely known by everyone, to let only certain ones become that intimate that they know my whole story.

If I really loved someone, I'd want him to know it all. Others, it's okay. They don't have to peel the onion layers all the way back.

I do feel this way. I feel like people just aren't seeing the whole picture if they don't know I once weighed way over 200 lbs.

I also think I am starting to act very different, I'm starting to be more confidant, more outgoing. Also I am very proud of my weight loss and I don't mind telling people I lost a lot of weight. I am starting to see that not everyone cares and I'm sure I will hold off on telling people soon enough, but for now losing close to 100 lbs is a huge accomplishment, I want to share.

I kind of love/hate this. After 2 babies I was heavy, then lost down (too far) and now have fluctuated back up. Now the people I know and meet know me as thin, shapely, and the most confident hot chick you could meet. They don't know me as the newly divorced, kind of heavy, little bit insecure housewife.

And I love it.

And the funneist thing about the whole situation is that I weigh exactly 5lbs less than I did over a year ago when I started losing weight. That's it. But losing weight and my other life experiences lately made me totally and completely happy with who I am. Even the size that I am.

So I kind of felt like people didn't know the "real" me but then I realized, they DO know the real me. I just didn't know it was me. So be happy with you because you are you.

I feel like anyone who meets me after the weight is gone will be meeting the real me. I hate that people who have only known me the last ten years think this is me. I have been in the wrong body for ten years! And I have been fighting to get out of it the entire time, minus short interludes of complacency here and there. I feel like I've been buried alive and am clawing my way out.

So bring on the new people! And I don't mind telling people how much weight I've lost. I won't tell them how much more I have to go, but heck, I tell the cashiers at clothing stores how much I've lost! LOL! I'm about as introverted as they come, but I am very proud of shedding this "me".

I forget who has known me larger and who hasn't and that has led to some funny situations. A little while ago a coworker brought out pictures from office events over the years and some of the new folks didn't recognise me.

Although I'm feeling so much better about myself, I'm kinda getting sick of being the "former fat girl", you know? But, that's what I am, there's no denying it. I do feel like people scrutinize what I eat a little bit. I've lost this weight the right way, the healthy and reasonable way, but I don't always think people believe that. It's like, they want to believe I just stopped eating or something, so at events I feel sort of pressured to eat in order to prove that I haven't stopped eating. Does this make sense to anyone??? Like I went to a party and felt almost compelled to eat a piece of cake that I didn't really want just to prove that I do still eat. This is crazy, I know! I feel judged a little by others, and I just want to scream from the rooftops that I lost weight the right way, through healthy eating and exercise. It's frustrating, really, but I think I just need to get over it and not worry about the thoughts or judgements of others.