I thought about it before I did it and I still did it.
I started a new job this week and I'm in a week-long orientation. Well, each of us in the class was told to tell something unique about ourselves. We were told it should be something that no one can tell about you by looking at you.
Well.... I told the class that I lost over 60 pounds last year.
Firstly, I'm VERY proud of my weight loss and I am never one to shy away from telling folks how I did it or even how much weight I've lost or whatever. But this is always to folks that obviously knew I'd lost weight. These folks at work didn't know me when I was heavy. They know me as Slender Girl.
I'll admit that part of me is afraid of people thinking I'm one of those girls (stereotype: you know, the naturally skinny types that are snobby and don't know what it's like to be heavy). I think part of me still wants to relate to certain aspects of Heavy Me.
So, yeah, I guess I'm dealing with that issue.
Anyway, I went to lunch with a small group of my orientation buddies. One of which is a guy who kept looking at my body and saying to me, "I can't believe you lost 60 pounds" and "How did you do it?" and "I just can't picture you 60 pounds heavier! Do you have pictures?"
The last comment bugged me (especially while looking at my body).
Pictures? Why? So, you can look at Heavy Me in shock and amazement? Like Heavy Me is some sort of freak show??
I'M STILL HER, PEOPLE! If you insult Heavy Me, you insult Slender Me.
Anyway, yeah, I think I made a mistake. Oh well. Lesson learned.
Oh goodness. They are in awe of you, and you are going to be working with them. They know you are a person who can make a goal and follow through and acomplish a victory. That was like saying, "I just sailed a boat solo around the world." Nothing could be better.
I don't think he was trying to insult you, it was a compliment to how amazing you look now, not being able to picture you as anything other than pretty and slender, and not knowing you went through such a struggle. Try to take comments like that in the best spirit they could be given, not the worst, and you'll be happier for it
I know *I* love seeing before and afters, because I find it extremely inspiring and I love seeing how bodies change through losing weight (everyone loses and gains differently), so maybe I see it another way, since I'd probably ask the same questions (without any leering, of course ).
You look amazing, either way, and worked very hard to get that weight off. That deserves all kinds of kudos.
You were not wrong to share your accomplishment. I've joked before that I think I should put weight loss on my resume.
It means I am an excellent project manager. As are you. And many, many others on this site.
We researched our project. We sought out case studies. We asked for support, when it was needed. We set interim goals. We met them. We worked on the huge thing in pieces, a little each day. We did not procrastinate endlessly. We dealt with setbacks.
I'm not saying we're inherently virtuous for having done this, because that makes us somehow Better People than Heavy Us. But I am saying we have some valuable skills, and I believe those transfer to other areas of life, including the workplace.
Revel in it.
And I'm sure you'll find out in time that the idiot is really an idiot, and says idiotic things under other circumstances, and has the sensitivity of a toilet seat, and can't let things go, even when other more tactful & less fixated people would.
honestly take it as a compliment i said the same thing to someone who told me they lost 100 pounds i could NOT believe someone who looked like her could have lost so much weight she looks like she dosnt know the meaning of fat .... she was a huge inspiration to me ...
definitely take it as a compliment! Plus, everyone always likes to see before and after pictures... you can't really fault him for asking. I would be curious too! It's always so cool to see what someone looked like before. Its interesting to see the before and after and see what you went through
maybe he wanted the pictures to motivate himself or someone close to him to lose some weight. it sounds odd...but that always helps me. some people are very "visual", they have to see it to believe it and process the information. i wouldn't take it as an insult (although he could have approached you better). be PROUD! i think you SHOULD carry a "fat pic" of yourself, what the heck! when people question you or express their disbelief you can pull it out and say, "oh yeah? look what i did!!" what you did took DISCIPLINE and HARD WORK and DEDICATION. heck, i don't even KNOW you and i'm proud of you! from the pics you posted...you look great. flaunt it girl!!!!
I know someone at church who had bariatric surgery before we moved here. She's never said anything about it but other people have told me she had it and had lost a lot of weight. I did finally talk to her about my weight loss & she opened up, but she never said, "I used to weigh X" or offered to show me pictures. I am very curious about what she looked like, and I'm sure if I went digging through church albums I could find a picture but I don't want to invade her privacy.
I am just now coming into the realm of meeting people who don't know they're meeting a formerly fat [morbidly obese] person...and it is scary. When they see me eating funny food or I repeatedly decline what is offered to me, they ask questions...and the look of shock on their face when I say, "I've lost 70 pounds" is pretty amazing. Even people who KNOW me deny that I could have been 70 pounds heavier ("you couldn't have been THAT big, you were just plump")...
Now why did I do that...??
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