Today has been a very bad day for me. Warning - selfish diatribe to come.
So, dh told me the other day he is going to be a recruiter. Has orders and everything. He just told me. He never really asked about what I thought about it. Just told me. On top of that, my best friend told me today she's moving to another state for a job. I'm mostly upset about the recruiter thing with DH, but my friend moving away was just like icing on the cake today.
I understand, logically, why DH wants to be a recruiter. It's good for his career, and he thinks it's the best thing for us because if he didn't change jobs, he'd be deploying again way less than a year after this one. But he never asked me how I felt or anything, I'm just expected to go along with this, and I feel like - hello! Hi! I'm here! What about me? Don't I matter? Don't I count? And I understand why my friend is moving - her job now sucks, the one waiting for her is better, etc etc. And in no way do I expect her to make her career decisions based on me. But once again I just feel like - what about me. Don't I matter. Which, of course, the logical side of me says of course you do, this isn't about you, it's about her and her career (as it should be). Again, mostly I'm just upset about DH. It just sort of pushed me that much further down today.
So. I want pizza. I really, really, REALLY want pizza. I know I'm not actually craving the pizza, I just want comfort food, because I just want comfort and nobody's around here to give it to me. I just have to pick myself up and deal with it.
So, I know this is just me having a very selfish, petty, self-pity fest, but somebody please tell me that I don't really want that pizza, and I do matter, because right now I just feel like I don't.
you are a strong beautiful woman, and yes indeed you can do without pizza and stay on plan. You don't need the pizza, you need a hug. Anybody around to give you a hug. ?
So sorry to tell you, but pizza will not make you feel better. Maybe for all of ten minutes, and then you'll be even more upset because you ate it. It just won't help you right now.
Find something else to do to distract yourself. Write a letter to your DH (that you will tear up as soon as you've written it and read it over) expressing your hurt. Turn on the TV and watch some silly rerun. Find a book, play some music, hey! Do some exercise! Got any fitness videos? Got the fitness TV channel? That's a great way to work off steam.
Hang in there. You can stay on track no matter what. You can.
Never trade what you want the most for what you want at the moment.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Also, JayEll's comment about writing a letter to your DH reminded me of being a kid- as a military brat, I can't even count the times I would find my mom in the kitchen, burning angry letters she had written to my dad in the kitchen sink. Sometimes I wonder if it kept their marriage together... if you think it would help, give it a try.
Dijiorno has mini pizzas for 200 calories Lean Cuisine has some pretty yummy ones too. I know it's not the same thing, but it might give you some satisfaction. The pizza itself won't make you feel better, but it might get the cravings out of the way so you can think about other things.
As for being a recruiter, I'm just asking out of curiosity, why would it be a bad thing? I understand why you're irritated that he dumped it on you without you discussing it first, but maybe he thought you'd be happy? No more deployments, and aren't they relatively flexible about where they go? I know some recruiters who got to work in their home towns or a city they wanted to live in.
I'm guessing it's a little too late for me to say not to have the pizza... But I know it's not too late for me to and tell you that you do matter. As mkendrick said, being a recruiter has its perks! As far as I know, he'll be undeployable and he has more flexibility with his location. I really feel that he thought this over quite a bit before making the decision. I can understand why you're upset about it, so I would talk to him. Be open though and just ask why he thought it would be better to decide without your input. Maybe he has more reasons than you know.
As for your friend leaving, I know it's hard. My best friend and I went to college together (that's where we met), but when college was over we both went back home. Mine was about an hour from school... hers? It was about 8 hours drive north! We talked all the time and we're still very good friends. If you both want to continue your friendship, it will be fine.
Aw, honey, i hope you are feeling better by now and although pizza is yummy it's not gonna fill the right hole. I'm sure your husband didn't mean to hurt you he probably thought he was doing what was best for both of you and just didn't think he need concern you with it. As for your friend if it is right for her be happy for her. I lived with my best friend for 3 years and we both bawled our eyes out when we finished uni and moved apart, she's on the other side of the country (UK), but we keep in touch. We phone and text each other regularly, we IM all the time and i went to visit her in January. You're not gonna lose your friend just cos she is moving away as long as you both make the effort to contact each other now and then. and stay happy.
I work with a lot of recently separated vets and from what I hear recruiting is a difficult job. There is a lot of pressure to make goals and a lot of stress. I understand OP's concern. God bless those who have made the military their career.