struggling.
 

Today has been a horrible day...i dont even know where to begin...i keep losing and gaining...losing and gaining...i just wanna eat. im terrified that im never gonna be able to break this cycle...im so mad at myself for cheating...but i literally feel deprived...idk what to do...i havent been to the gym in 3 days...my best friend and i got in a huge fight today...as well as my boyfriend and i...i need support and i dont feel like i have it from the people around me...i just needed to vent i guess...

I am here for you...I am like literally a shut in nowadays bc I am taking a break from school and have not found work. I do not have that many friends bc as some of us may feel, being very overweight sometimes makes one a social outcast. I wish I even had someone to fight with. I have not been to the gym in 3 days either! (bc I am sick, and is is killing me to try and rest). I also have not been eating well since monday...nothing out of hand, but way more carbs than I should be eating. Anyhow; that ramble was to let you know that you are not alone, and you just have to hang in there. I am rooting for you!

I had an awful day too!

Last night I really hurt my back at the gym so couldn't obviously do my full workout. Then went home and had a HUGE intense crying discussion with my boyfriend. Then today slept in, didn't study in the morning or even cook like I said I would, and had puffy tired eyes all day.

Back still hurting so bad today. I ate a sickly sweet rocky road bar and can't even go to the gym tonight to work it off because of the stupid back.

So yeah, I had a bad day too.

To top it off I'm still hungry, and exactly within my points so there's no room to eat anything else, yet I know I will when I get home because I will be too hungry.

Ugh.

~CGH~

oksoitsjen, I think just about everyone here who has a goal story has had ups and downs and struggles....that's why we need one another....we need that support. I think people wait for motivation, something major that snaps in their brains and makes them not want the food, etc.... I wish that day would come for me, but it hasn't. What I try to do is have one good day. If I can have one good day, then I can have another and another....but there are those times when I try to do it hour by hour. There's no magic. There's just the determination for consistency. Try to talk things over with the people you have issues with....I find that handling situations and figuring out what I can change and what I can't and just try to not involve food into the picture. I know, its' easier said than done, but it will be something to strive for.

I once heard a quote that really helps me: When you resist a food, you are not depriving yourself...it's when you eat that food that you deprive yourself of the life you want/deserve. I'm not sure exactly how it was said, but it's so true. It's not about the food....it's about the emotions that we're trying to suppress.

I hope you feel better soon. Go workout tomorrow. It will help you get onto the right track! :)

I've lost and gained the same 15 lbs several times since Sept 2008 when I moved to where I live now. It's unbelievable because I could be 45 lbs thinner if I had just kept going and not gone backwards. So, you are not alone. I don't have any magic formula, but wanted to let you know someone out there understands. Good luck. Keep your chin up.

Keep your chin up and don't give up!! Dust yourself off and get right back in there...you can do this! Remember...this too shall pass!! :)