So, I've been working very hard the last few weeks to cut out sugar from my diet. I've been doing very well, and have only had a few minor slip-ups.

At the office today, for some odd reason, a serious test of sheer willpower had befallen me. My boss put a gorgeous box of beautiful, expensive chocolates on the desk next to me. Pass.

Then, 3 bags of gigantic, chocolate-covered, peanut butter chip, mini-m&m pretzels landed on the desk behind me. Pass.

Finally, a large slab of incredible-looking buttercream birthday cake with tropical fruit was sitting, up for grabs, inches from me. UGH! Pass.

You would think, after exercising such a noble display of willpower, that I'd be elated that I didn't touch any of it. But instead, it's all I can think about – even hours and hours later. I just wish I ate that cake or had a few of those chocolates. What is the deal? Does the feeling that you're missing out on a major level ever go away? Or is this just typical fat girl psychology that I'll have to live with and be miserable about for the rest of my life. I've spent some time trying to rationalize my feelings, that I made the right choice, didn't need the extra calories, would have regretted it, etc... but all I can think about is the cake.

Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? Have you been able to push past feelings of extreme cake lust?

I think you really do just need to tell yourself that it isn't good for you and you don't need it! Well first of all GREAT JOB for saying no to all those temptations! And moreover, you should become indignant with cake...Food doesn't control you, and you are not a slave to cake's gooey goodness. You should feel awesome that you had the power to say no!

I know exactly what you are talking about. For me, I think it is a holdover from being 5th out of 6 kids: treats were TREATS and they somehow all became this huge emotional "can't be missed" event in my mind. Retraining that instinct has been a huge challenge for me.

Did you ever quit smoking? One of the hardest things is learning to label yourself a non-smoker. Learning to label yourself a non-sweet eater is every bit as difficult, but can also be done.

This sounds stupid, but I compare it to keeping kosher. Jewish people who don't eat pork don't "give in" and eat bacon on special occasions: it's just not food to them. I try to think of sweets like that. They just aren't food to me. I keep telling myself that, and it works somewhat. Not perfectly, but enough to get through stuff I didn't plan to eat.

I say no most of the time and the times I can't I just have a tiny tiny piece to sate my need for it.
I don't think it's right to limit yourself completely, and having a snack sometimes is ok.

You wrote "Tickah" !! LOL I'm from Mass too!!

About the cake lust thing....I always think that the forbidden fruit, or in your case cake, always tastes the best. But in reality it never tastes as good as I think it will.
If you're obsessing about it, maybe just have one piece of chocolate so you don't feel like you are missing out.

Yes, I used to be exactly like this, and that's why I NEVER dieted, because if I passed something up, I would start to crave it so badly that after a while I'd give in and binge.

Now, I'm not that way anymore. It has taken some time, but I've trained myself just not to think about it. I KNOW that I don't eat stuff like that, and I try not to think about the foods themselves in too much detail. In the beginning, I used to actually avert my eyes away from that kind of food.... Now, I don't need to so much, but if I find myself thinking about the exact properties of what makes cake so delicious, then I try to think about something else. The food just doesn't have the power over me anymore.

Thanks so much for all your responses. Surprisingly, the affirmation that I am not alone in fighting off the seductive quality of desserts helps most of all. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only struggler out there.

And Shmead - your idea comparing the situation to keeping Kosher doesn't sound stupid at all! It definitely helps to consider things like that.

Megan – I'm glad you caught on to the "tickah"

Miss - u rock. It happens to everyone.... we're human after all. =) I hope you are proud of yourself. When it is that hard to say no, and when you're thinking about it later, it really becomes THAT much of a bigger accomplishment. I think the Kosher thing was a good idea too. I'm just starting out on the weight loss journey and sweets are my biggest hurdle for sure. You're not alone out there. That's what makes 3FC so awesome. =) Good luck to you!!

Thanks ladies - it's so nice to have support from people who know where I'm coming from.

I have to say, I'm feeling MUCH better about this today, and I feel like in the process I gained an emotional fat-busting muscle. RAHH!

I have learned a couple of things:

1. Food like that almost always looks a lot better than it tastes.

2. It's OK to take one bite to taste it. And then if it's completely not worth it (and it is not worth it about 99% of the time), it's OK to throw the rest away. I don't need to punish myself by putting a whole bunch of non-yummy crap in my body, just because I wanted to taste it.

First, congrats on passing on the temptations. Not just one time but 3 times all day and those foods probably sat for a bit so you didn't say no to each one in one instance but kept saying no. KUDOS!

Second, in my case I often revert to saying out loud to myself "I don't need this, keep walking, what I am doing and eating is working so keep going".

And third, my plan includes as required snacks high protein versions of the cake, candy bars, oatmeal I can turn into yummy muffins, etc. Is there a way to find a "healthy" version of your personal downfalls? I think it would be MUCH harder for me if I didn't have a way to "reward" myself by having a snack I have to eat anyway.

I am definitely a dessert lover, and I've worked hard to still fit some sweets in. I know this might be dangerous for some, but I've bought some mini dove ice cream nuggets and sometimes I just eat one (60 cals) to get that chocolate and ice cream fix. But it can only be one....that's the rule.

I also seek out and make dessert recipes, like low fat pudding parfaits. Recently, I tried a recipe that called for 1 box of cake mix and 1 can of diet cream soda. That's it. Just mix the two ingredients together and bake in a cake pan for about 35 minutes. Let cool completely, divide into 12 servings. It's about 170 calories and 3 g fat per serving, and you would never know it wasn't a regular cake!

So far I tried it with a "Funfetti" cake mix and then with a strawberry cake mix. For the strawberry one, I topped each serving with some fresh sliced strawberries and a dab of Cool Whip Free. YUM!

I know these are sort of "empty" calories, but sometimes at night, it just hits the spot for me.

I'm stunned at how much weigh you guys have lost! Way to go! I should probably be writing your advice down.

But, I'm wondering if it would be better to completely forgo and get over the need for dessert-type things, and just replace them with fruit. I'm pretty stubborn in my drive to eat minimally-processed foods as much as possible. Do I try to get over my whining, not eat sweets completely, and be (possibly) led to binge, or just have a little bit of something unhealthy – just enough to satiate my need for it – but still keep myself a little bit addicted to sugar.

I've gotten to a point where I feel pretty excellent without sugar, but haven't gotten anywhere mentally. Most of the time, I'm feeling great physically but pissed because I'm not eating delicious cake/chocolates/etc.

I'm sure with time I'll find a happy balance for myself, but regardless, thanks again for your input!

I have a weakness for carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I really, really like the stuff that Safeway makes, and wouldn't you know it--they even sell single pieces of it. Huge, thickly frosted pieces. And at first, it was all I could think about when I walked through the bakery section to get my healthy bread. I wanted to buy a piece so very badly.

But the urge is less now, because I tell myself, "Maybe next time." And you know what....the carrot cake is ALWAYS there. Every single time I go to Safeway, there is lots and lots of it. So that helps too, oddly enough, because I don't HAVE to buy it this time. If I decide to next time, it will be there.

I think of it as having an inner two-year-old. No matter how much she kicks and screams and cries for the carrot cake, she isn't going to get it every time because it's not good for her. So I am kind but firm to her; I tell her that maybe she can have it next time, but if not, she can FOR SURE have it on her birthday. And then I walk past it. It was hard at first, but now it's a piece of cake (ha! Get it!?)

Gosh, I'm terrible with sweets. I can't have just one piece, because one piece wakes up my sugar monster.