Originally Posted by Harsdottir:
I see a lot of people whose "epiphany's" came at or below my current weight. WOW, and congrats for having the foresight to catch your weight climb early!!!

I wish that had been me. I would have had so much less to lose.

Anyway,

My epiphany came through my experiences with a former flame. I was 361 at the time and I met this wonderful man. We had so much in common, we talked for hours took evening walks around his home. We watched movies at his house. What I noticed is that we never "went anywhere" and it seemed at least to me that we were on the verge of something. I started asking going places with him and he balked.
Finally I wracked up the bravery and asked if we could make our relationship intimate. He said "you'd have to get me very drunk for me to sleep with you".

Me being stupid and having extremely low self esteem, kept on seeing him. Finally one day I did manage to get him drunk, but when his roommate walked in on us, he began to ask his roommate how he could help me loose my gut and my chicken wing arms.

Yes. It was after that experience that I decided that I needed to lose weight Now that I am almost under 200 (I have 4 pounds to go), I am definitely getting attention interest and even invitations to date.

I can only imagine, that if I was 100+ pounds lighter I would have probably married that guy, our connection was that intense. He was just extremely turned off by my weight.

awwww :hug:
Gosh I feel your pain. That made me cry because I know too well what that feels like. Its a horrible horrible feeling.
I guess to add on to my previous reason, I want someone to call me sexy and find me irresistible. to want and adore me. Like before when I was smaller. To crave me and proud to walk down the street with. And show me off to their friends. Selfish I know, but I miss it. The most I've gotten over the last couple years is "cute" , "attractive". I can't possibly feel sexy in these size 16 jeans.

Over the past year I have been at my last straw. I love to shop and love fashion and don't find joy in that anymore because nothing looks good on me. I never worried about my weight but once I hit my late 20's I couldn't eat like I use to. The 3am after the club burger would go right to my hips. I can't deal wit this anymore. The past 5 years have been a rolller coaster. I have lost and gained it right back. My excuse is I work two jobs and don't have time. I realized I have to MAKE time if I really want this. I have been depressed and barely leave the house anymore except to go to work . I am really ready to lose it and keep it off this time. I am 33 and have been on blood pressure meds since I was 29. I work in healthcare and know that if I don't do something now it will only get worse.

Reading through this thread, I can identify with many of those "last straws." Had a few of them, which I actively ignored.

I'd married at 135 lbs, and after eating my way through a stressful job and two pregnancies, ended up at 230 lbs. I half-heartedly worked on my weight over the last 19 years, but always ended up back higher than I'd started.

My final straw was having an old friend see me after fifteen years, and say "THAT'S Michelle?" Ouch. Then my mind went one step further, and I realized that my boys have never seen me at a healthy weight. Pictures don't count.

So I made changes. I kicked the snacking habit, thanks to the NoS diet. That took me a while, and I lost 6 pounds. I'd been cooking healthy, since my husband had cardiac surgery four years ago for a congenital condition. However, I've been eating way too much. So, I started counting calories and exercising daily for, um, a week now. Usually, at this point in a diet I feel like eating everything in sight. This time, though, I feel energetic, satisfied, and excited to have lost another 6 pounds.

I'm determined to do this, and maintain it! The alternatives are not acceptable!

Blessings!
Michelle

A MOUND of brand New Health Issues........

Border line diabetic
Outrageous Cholesterol #'s
Feeling like *&(*# 24/7

Knowing I worked on so much in my life, this is one of my final "big" issues to tackle and stop the vicious cycle!

Interesting how I revisit this thread and find my earlier post:

Originally Posted by Sirenity:
Going shopping with a friend and realizing that not one single pair of jeans in the plus-sized section of the store would fit me. I don't even remember anymore, but I think I was wearing a lot of stretch pants and fake stretch "jeans" at the time.

And I say "interesting" since I can clearly remember how I felt that day and sort of find it surprising I didn't explain any further. My friend had similar weight issues, but was shorter and overall smaller than me; at the time she was probably a 22. No clue what I was at the time, but I do know that 28's were way too small. We'd been browsing a Fashion Bug and when I'd realized that I wouldn't be able to buy any of the jeans my friend was pouring over, I excused myself and hobbled off to the closest department store of the mall so I could hide in the restroom and cry. And I couldn't stop crying. I eventually had to step out and meet up with my friend again since I'd been the driver, but I couldn't even begin to utter a decipherable word through my red face and sniffley tears.

I'd always been fat, had always accepted myself as such. My asthma would flare up pretty bad, bad enough for ER visits. Standing for 15 minutes or so was sheer torture due to the weight put on my feet. At 360 pounds I was eternally exhausted, cranky, and insecure. But knowing that I was too fat for the fat people clothes? Of all things, that was too much for me and was the main thing that got me started on this journey.

I've lost over 100 lbs. since then, but am currently looking for motivation all over again after a year-long hiatus/plateau. I get frustrated over wearing a 22/24 now, but it's much better than the lack of choices I faced before. I have no real problems getting around, my asthma is pretty much under control, and I'm a lot more secure than I used to be. I just married someone that doesn't care about my appearance, just that he wants me to be happy and healthy (and although supportive of my efforts to lose weight, can get skeptical about any given method).

But I'm pushing myself because I want to. I've never known how it feels to cross my legs, can't remember a time when my waist wasn't so much bigger than the rest of me, nor am I familiar with what it must be like to have some sort of confidence about my appearance. I want to be able to find flattering clothes, I want to raise my energy level, I want the freedom of choice that comes with being a smaller person and to drop all the things that hinder a larger person in this society of ours.

I'm working my butt off right now. I just hope it will be enough . . . I was around 250 in high school and college, even when I walked 5 miles a day. After a full year of struggling I have this awful fear that I'm going to remain stuck around 250 no matter what I do. :( Maybe that should be the last straw to keep up this pace I'm currently under.

I know that it's been a few weeks since anyone's posted on this thread, but I found it so inspirational and really identified with so many of you, I had to post...

My husband and I took a trip recently which was supposed to be just a fun vacation. We had a lot of trouble fitting into the seats on the plane and, though we didn't have to ask for seatbelt extenders, I felt terrible for the poor guy sitting next to me, who I was practically on top of, and both of us were terribly uncomfortable for the longest four hours of my life. It was really embarrassing, but I comforted myself by thinking that the airlines suck and the seats are ridiculous even for normal sized people.

While we were on vacation, we were strolling around, taking in the sights, and we were wandering along a path. We didn't realize it was a bike trail, and we were holding hands walking along one side. Someone came up behind us on a bike and from a good distance away, shouted something we couldn't really make out and didn't know was directed toward us. A second later, this guy comes whooshing by right next to us and screams, "I SAID SHARE THE ROAD, FATA**ES!!" Yeah. That guy was a total jerk. It still hurt my feelings like crazy. Still, I put it off on him.

A few years ago I had lost about 40 lbs and really felt like I looked pretty decent. I still wanted to lose some more, but it felt less urgent and I was very proud of myself. Slowly, it started creeping back on and, like a fool, I was in denial about it. It didn't happen fast enough to notice in the mirror and I kept thinking I looked the same. Then, all of a sudden, the weight started really climbing fast and my clothes wouldn't fit. The same thing happend to my husband. About five years ago, he lost down to 220 from 400. He's gotten back up to 300.

When we came back from vacation, I thought that I was pretty serious about losing some weight again, but when my husband told me he's been having chest pains, I realized that this wasn't just about me anymore. People our size don't live to ripe old ages together. I ordered Wonderslim (a low calorie meal delivery program) the next day. We've been on it for a little over a week now and he's down 10 lbs and I'm down 5. It feels so good to be doing something proactive about this.

My last straw was tonight, when my mom brought me 2 winter coats, size 3x and both of them do not fit!!! So, I whipped out Leslie Sansone Videos and started on doing them! Started my fitness journey , so next winter, I will have a decent coat!!

This is probably the best thread I made -I love it to bits. But I love you all to bits too! :) There are some amazing stories in here.

I decided to take a month break from the gym and am in maintenance. I just started going back again on Monday, and this will help me go back tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday, etc.

Time to keep the train rolling, another 40 or so to go! Choo choo!

My last straw was when I felt myself as a Victim. I felt trapped by my job. I wasn't exercising, I was eating crappy, quick food. My schedule was haywire and I didn't see an end to it. I felt like a victim. A panicky victim. I've never been a victim, I'm strong and powerful. So I said "take this job and shove it! I'm going to the gym!" And I did.

Been putting off sharing my epiphany moment -but here goes - it was in the beginning of Oct. when I started visualizing about Thanksgiving weekend -which for my family is literally 4 NIGHTS centered around all our favorite appetizers ,entrees, sides and desserts. It's an all-out hands down orgy of food.

I was home with a cold and realized that I was having trouble doing even simple household tasks -out of breath,feet hurting,etc. I also admitted to myself that I was turning down and ruling out lots of invitations to go places and do things because too much walking and /or stairs were involved. I also gave up going to places where I might be seen by people who knew me much thinner. Basically I was becoming a hermit.I also knew that my feet just could not take anymore weight - period .!

I got on the net and found several different medical weight loss places, looked over their various programs and made an app't. that day.I went for an introduction a few days later ,committed to their program, got the blood work done and got started -within 2 weeks of making the decision to try something.

P.S. I went to our family's empty vacation home on Thanksgiving Day (stayed all week)
where it was warm and spent the holiday alone , a little sad and a bit embarrassed that I had allowed myself to get to that point, but
I was feeling hopeful and optimistic that I was doing something to regain a semblance of a life for myself. I told myself over my solitary diet meal on Thanksgiving that I needed to be grateful that i had a nice place to "run away" to - in order to stay on my program. If it had been -just 1 day, I think I could have coped -but not 4 -no way.

I know this thread is old...but i thought i should post mine as well. Im 26 ive always been the big girl since i was born basically. Around me a family of large people (our bone structure is large but out guts are rediculous). For the longest time I pretty much accepted my weight but here recently ive discovered i HATE leaving the house. I fear people are staring at me and what im eating making fun of me. Especially when i go somewhere and eat a salad...its almost like people are looking at me thinking "are you kidding me you know shes just doing that to look good for the world". My fiance who loves my curves who is a twig himself is who i feel bad for. We used to have date nights and now id rather stay home and binge.

Also recently ive been checking my blood sugar since my father and my aunt were diagnosed with diabetes in their late 20's and ive discovered im high...240's high...NOT GOOD. So the other day I said F%@$ THIS. Got on weight watchers website and signed up for the kit at home. Today i started my new life style and i hope that this helps me out. I dont want to be that fat girl anymore, I dont want to be worrying about another medication other then BC, I want to show my family they can (possibly) beat diabetes if they really try! And most of all i just want a healthier me so im not ashamed of going out and eating in public anymore.

Just last week, two days of events.

It started when me and my friends spent the night in my friend's living room and decided to build forts for fun. Girls vs. Guys, two on each team. Everyone got inside their fort except me, and one of the guys was like "Why isn't Melanie in the fort?" in a whisper to the other guy, and it was obvious that I was too big to get in. If I would of got in it would of collapsed on me.

Then that morning we woke up late and had to walk to wear the van was to go to the theme part (it was a school event and she lived in the apartments by the school) we had to walk about a mile and a half from the apartments across campus FAST... I was lagging behind everyone breathing hard... everyone else was breathing normal.

Then the pictures from the theme park.... I looked like I was SQUEEZING into the seats of the ride. It was horrible.

My last straw. I decided I wanted to go to church for Easter. I needed some new clothes. I went shopping. I tried on size L blouse, too small. I tried on XL, still too snug it showed my roll. I had to by an XXL! Also trying on the clothes in the dressing room. I got good look at myself. I was no longer just chubby. I was FAT!

I love this thread. I think this is my first post. About four last straws happened in February:

1. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I looked like Java The Hut. (like somebody else mentioned I normally look at myself in the mirror and don't seem as fat as I really are, like the opposite of what anorexics must see, but this time I REALLY saw the real me.
2. Got a pre-hypertension BP reading (was a false positive but scared the hey outof me.
3. Went over 200 to 201.6. Last time I weighed that was 7 years ago pregnant with my second. I am barely 5'2".
4. I realized spring and summer would soon be here and I had a closet full of weather appropriate clothes in a variety of smaller sizes that didn't fit me. So either I would either be hot and uncomfortable in winter clothes or went and got new clothes, which wouldn't have been fun anyway because I wouldn't look
good in them anyway.

So, I decided to break the bank with healthy food, the gym, time for me, etc. I have lost 33 pounds so far (need to update profile) and hope to lose 30 more by Labor Day.

Ladies, these were just my recent last straws but at some point I have experienced stuff like what has been shared by each of you, some stories broke my heart because I have been there.

But we can do it and permanently too. I know I can with God's help.

God bless,

Rosario

I think I've had a lot of "last straw" moments. I guess that happens when you've been struggling with weight since the age of 10 or so. But my last straw this January was after my mom, who had always been way bigger than me, lost ~90 lbs and was smaller than me, and making better choices than me, and she just kept losing weight and buying cute new clothes and she looked GREAT.

It was the wake up call that I needed - just because I was 25 years younger didn't mean that I could eat whatever I wanted and never exercise. I've been slowly losing weight since February, and it feels AMAZING.