My boss!! (venting, please bear with me!)
 

Ok, so, maybe he isn't an idiot, but he is thoughtless and blind to his unfiltered blabbing mouth. Does that about explain it? ha ha. A few years ago I had lost weight and looked nice. I've gained it back, but I still always look nice, I am always clean and professionally dressed. So, my boss is telling me all about his stupid workouts, and telling ME that I should work out, too, because "remember a while back when you used to look really nice?" KABOOM! I wanted to spring across the room and scratch his face off. But, I just smiled and ignored him. Why do people say such thoughtless things? I wanted so badly to say "yeah, remember how you are a jerk?". The bad part is, I've lost about 10 lbs since January 2nd, and I was feeling pretty good about it. The good part is, I am still losing weight and he'll still be a jerk. Unfortunately, he'll also still be my boss. Have any of you ever dealt with this type of comments? How did you handle it?

You keep feeling good about your progress and try and forget your boss is such a twit.

When I was younger I worked someplace where we were fed form the company kitchen. I was walking with a plate full of pastries (to take to some other staff) when my boss said something like, "You don't need those." (I had put on weight from a previous slimmer me.)

I was so mad and taken aback I can't even remember my reaction. But I did stop speaking to him (you know, the friendly chatter, going out of your way to say hi) for a couple of days, I think.

He asked a female co-worker what was up and she told him you can't say things like that. He apologized. I know that he wasn't trying to be awful and I do believe he meant his apology.

I don't know if your boss is just an idiot, insecure or just someone who doesn't speak before he thinks. Either way, keep feeling good. You should be very proud of the weight you have lost (and that you didn't slug him!). :hug:

Thank you so much, Chickiegirl. I feel better now that I know I'm not the only one who has been subjected to the boss of doom. uggghhh.....And I guess I am glad I didn't slug him!!! Woulda felt good though!

How 'bout telling the insensitive oaf, "Not only do I LOOK nice NOW, but I actually AM nice, which isn't something I can say about EVERYBODY I work with, is it?"

What a jerk! Don't worry about him--remember you are losing weight for one person and ONE person only--YOURSELF! You want to be a healthier YOU, not to provide eye candy to your oaf of a boss!

Yes one of my bosses used to come right out and say such things. "You could be doing much better careerwise if you lost weight." "You would have a man if you lost weight." I ignored him and eventually left the firm.

I think his inability to be tactful was honestly a desire to have a hot woman in the space. First, hiring a fatty at a low rate of pay and then getting her to lose weight and be hot - increased his investment. I wasn't that fat and I had several clients who had a crush on me. That is why they stayed with the firm. If I was MORE hot, I would have even more clients. He hired a hot secretary and that did bring in clients. He paid her 18K per year.

It was a better reflection on him with other jerk men, if he had a hot associate tagging behind him. He could infer he was banging me or heck he could even try it.

I ignored him and left the firm. I kept the weight on out of spite and distancing. Right before leaving he gave me a 10 K raise and told me the condition was "loyalty" - yup I was out of there. When I left I lost weight.

He was also a serial weight basher. 3 former and or current employees had the weight loss surgery.

As an aside, I think reasonably you could at least suggest that his comments are sexual harassment. You don't have to have an air tight case, but his notice of your body and comments to that effect are at the least inappropriate and if viewed in the right light, a large problem. Be sure to google information on sexual harassment and leave it on a printer or your desk where he can see it. You don't have to come right out and tell him it is... just start researching lawyers etc. and making sure he sees it.

my family is worse that anybody they always refer to when I was skinny or she used to be a pretty girl she could be again if she would lose a few pounds

i had a stranger see a year book picture of me and say "oh, you used to be so cute... what happened?!"

stabbity stab stab stabbity stab look at lizzie stab!!!

I love all of you! Do you know how happy and "validated" I feel just hearing I'm not alone? :^: When he said that to me, I seriously felt like I was kicked in the gut. Like, I felt like a little girl, full of shame when my family would make fun of me and humiliate me. Then, I became ANGRY. I wanted to just lay into him with both fists, and then I felt the sting of tears come on, and I just turned away and ignored him. If I ever become a "hottie", I'll be sure to continue to ignore him. Thanks again everyone who shared. I feel like when I get this stuff off my chest, it doesn't hurt quite as bad.
((HUGS))

Men just do not get it.

The vice president of my company once commented on my haircut. "I'm glad to see you cut it shorter, you arent a cheerleader anymore after all"

I was a senior chemical engineer with 10 years experience and I have never been a cheerleader. It was VERY inappropriate. Oh the joys of being one of 3 female engineers in a high tech company. I also never cut my hair again as long as I worked there. I was tempted to go blonde for spite but I really do look hideous as a blonde.

I lost quite a bit of weight through unhealthy means (my family knew this) and I gained about 3/5 of it back (through overeating). They kept telling me to watch what I eat because I was "getting chubby again" so I went on another crash diet and lost, then gained once again, and they told me again to watch my weight. I think that many people who say things like this are trying to 'encourage' us by telling us how great we looked when we were smaller, or they're just really insensitive. Generally, people aren't trying to be offensive, but they don't realize how much these things can sting. I wish they could congratulate me on my successes and just refrain from commenting if I'm gaining. If I'm gaining, I know it.

I had a similar comment from a family member once, but I feel that this is still different. For a boss to say that in a work environment it`s way too personal, and I`d probably tell him that your weight and excercise habits are not for discussion.