3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - Geez, the things some people say..

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- - Geez, the things some people say.. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/191519-geez-things-some-people-say.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikayla (Post 3105123)

Must be something about this week.

My best friend accused me of becoming a 'crazy obsessive dieter" because a scooped the inside of my bun out before I made a sandwich. This was right after she declared she was "over" the whole losing weight thing because her new boyfriend said she was sexy so getting healthy is just a waste of her time. Then she ate roman noodles and mashed potatoes for lunch and explained to me that even though she ate crap she wasn't gaining any weight so it was no big deal.

People have been saying all kinds of weird things to me lately. Mostly they seem to be interested in justifying their eating habits to me...like I care what someone else eats???

Wow.

I mean, my boyfriend tells me I am sexy, but I know I still need to lose the weight. I won't get into TMI but there are a lot of reasons I want to weigh less, for mine and his benefit.

It's people justifying their bad eating habits or bad habits. I know I have never laid judgement on my co-workers habits, but yet she feels she has to tell me these things or say these comments.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ennay (Post 3105132)

uh....ok...maybe I just see this from a possible other perspective.

1) Maybe she HAS lost 40 lbs. The number of times we have had people on here wail that they have lost a significant amount of weight and no one notices is high. If you see her every day at work and she is still a large girl 40 lbs may not be that significant. And did she say 40 lbs in any specific time frame? You dont notice gradual change. I have regained 30 lbs and I am a lot smaller and my closest friends say they cant see it because I wear clothes that fit and I dont gain weight in my face.

2) It is not the choice I would make for myself but you CAN lose weight eating at McDonalds. Does she say she eats there every meal? Not the healthiest, but it is still possible. Compared to other restaurants the portion sizes are usually smaller and the nutritional information is readily available. I lost 60 lbs while occasionally eating at McDonalds (2-3 times a month)- its a good place for my kids to play when it is raining.

3) There are many people here who have lost significant weight without exercise. Again not my choice, but it is possible

4) Calorie counting and obsessing works for you. It may NOT work for her. Maybe her comment on obsession is based from personal experience in that when she obsesses she struggles. Maybe she has learned NOT to obsess and instead to make small changes that she can live with over time. My sister goes from calorie counting to bulemia and I struggle with that myself. Obsession is a fine line for many people.

5)You DONT know what she is eating at home. Maybe interspersed with her occasional McD's is perfectly fine eating

To assume that she is being jealous or passive aggressive is a pretty big assumption. Maybe for her lifetime of diet struggle, obsessing over diet is the absolute worst thing she can do. Maybe what she is writing on some other board tonight is "Gee there is this girl at work who will not shut up about weight loss and what she is doing and why she is doing it. I am really afraid that if I keep listening to her I will slip into my old obsessive ways. How can I tactfully tell her to stop talking to me about it?"

Or maybe she is a jealous passive agressive coworker. My point is there is no way to know. Clearly interacting with her on the subject of weight loss is not productive for YOUR journey in which case the only route regardless of her motive is to just not talk about it with her.

If you read my post I never said she was one way or the other, or if I was right or wrong, etc. I was just ranting about it because she insists on doing this all the time, and I was just irritated on the moment.

Actually this is the first time I mentioned I lost any weight to her, before that she was the one mentioning what she has done and if she went to the gym or not, and I would just play along by saying my accomplishments.

I see what you are saying though. But I am not trying to lay judgement on her, just simply venting. I don't intend to bring up anything weight-related with her again unless she decided to do so first.

Again, some things I stated are just assumptions, unless I am actually her then I don't know 100% about anything.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my post! Just here to get some similar experiences.

schubunny - I wasnt saying that you specifically were making the assumption of jealousy or passive aggressive. It was the reply to the whole thread. There seemed to be a lot of negativity aimed at someone that no one really knows.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ennay (Post 3105335)

Ok no problem. I wasn't trying to come off as defensive, just wanted people to know I am just here to rant a bit and nothing more. :)

I guess the strangest comment about weight loss I've had was from one of my "friends" from undergrad. She told me that the key to losing weight was to eat only "negative calories": Things that cost more to digest than they are worth. She said if I ate only celery, lettuce and carrots (on occasion) that I would lose a ton of weight. =/ She said with my amount of weight (was at 220 then), I'd only have to eat like that for a half a year or so. D=

Quote:

Originally Posted by 30and300 (Post 3105380)

Ahhh yes, the "celery diet." I do believe that I had a friend tell me about this same diet when I was in middle school (shows how educated this adult is). When I was 13, I tried this miraculous diet and ended up in the hospital.:)fun times. my blood sugar was exactly 32 which is almost seizure level. :D FUN TIMES!!!:club:

I have had the friends that claim they can eat whatever they want and are still losing weight. All I can think is, if you were able to eat whatever you want and not gain any weight, how can you have gained weight in the first place? Eating what you DONT want?

I have found that there are going to be people that refuse to embrace my success and encourage my efforts. Whether it is jealousy, ignorance, or just sheer lack of interest - it is my battle and hopefully they will never have to go through the sheer struggle of weight loss. For now, I would just smile and say "enjoy your BigMac and 4 hour workout routine."

I can totally relate to your frustration with your coworker Schubunny! Almost everyone in my work place diets on and off and while most of us are supportive of each other, there are the few that are rather competitive or seem to have some weird desire to downplay a person's efforts to lose weight.

Like this one girl at work...she's significantly overweight (as am I) and eats whatever she wants. She's got all the confidence in the world which is great, but she seems to look down on those of us who are trying to lose weight. For instance, we were talking about weighing and she just sort of butts in and says, kind of condescendingly, "I haven't weighed since like, high school and I don't need to. I mean it doesn't matter as much how much I weigh as it does how my clothes fit."

Uhhh....okay. I mean, to each their own, but it was like she was ridiculing us for weighing at all which to me is an important part of my weight loss.

I think it's important for everyone to remember that everyone does things differently. Who knows...she might be able to lose weight eating at McDonalds! I wish I was like that!!

Well I will have to say, I had a coworker tell me just yesterday, "What you need to do is cut out sugar, bread and soda and the weight will just fall off". That never really worked for me because it wasn't the sugar and bread I was having trouble with but she didn't know that. It was more about my director noticing I was losing weight. I said, and I quote " since what I'm doing is working for ME, I will just stick to that and I'll call you if it stops working."

Quote:

Originally Posted by jigglefree (Post 3106480)

" since what I'm doing is working for ME, I will just stick to that and I'll call you if it stops working."

ZING! :D

This is why I don't like to talk about my weight loss strategy with people other than one or two individuals I am very close to.

I love this thread! Reason being is it really shows you how sensitive all of us are to this journey we are on. We want positive reinforcement and when someone says something that strikes a nerve we think it over and over and over again. Sometimes we'll even go off our diets! I know I did. I had a boss who said he'd buy me a new business suit if I lost 20 pounds! Fifteen years later we went out for dinner and I said "Remember that time...?" and he of course said "I wouldn't say something like that!" I reamed him for it because his comments made me feel worse and I ended up sabotaging myself by putting on more weight. He then said that in fact he did remember getting on my case...but for my own good. He figured if I put the power suit on 20 pounds lighter I would have increased my sales tenfold! Don't worry ladies, I made him pick up the tab and gave him a kick in the rear as he hopped into his cab! He didn't mean to hurt me - he's just thick. Like a lot of other co-workers I know! Hang in there and keep up the good work...don't discuss with anyone who you know is just going to make you feel down. Here's to the rest of the week!!!

I'm on the don't-talk-about-it boat too. Unfortunately whenever I talk about my weight loss and fitness plans it always gets weird. People like to give weird advice and who can blame them when tv, radio, and books are constantly talking about the zillion ways you can lose weight (some of which are very suspect).

Also, when someone else is trying to lose weight and discussing their plan which I don't agree with, I keep my mouth shut. People have to find what works for them.

OP, in your situation I would just nod and do the whole "mmm hmm" thing and then change the subject. ;)

Update: There is another girl I work with at night, and we decided we're going to encourage each other.

As for the girl this thread is about, I just opted to not talk about it with her anymore.

Like everyone said, what works for someone doesn't always work for another!

I worked at a fast food place for three years, so my bosses and coworkers had a lot of time to see my yo-yoing weight. When I started there I was about 163, and kept there for about three months, and then a harsh break up made me start emotionally eating, and once I started stretching my stomach back out I couldn't break the habit for ages. Then I lost 15lbs... then gained 10lbs... then lost 7lbs... then gained 20lbs... and on and on. They were always very supportive when I started losing, and not at all judgmental when I started gaining, for which I was very thankful.

I really hate the feeling of being judged for my choices. I don't know how I would react to a coworker harping on me about not losing "the right way", especially if their definition of the right way was simply the way that worked for them, rather than something backed up by science.

Maybe she really has lost weight with an erratic gym schedule and McDonalds several times a week, but even if it's working for her, she should know that no fitness and weight-loss experts will ever recommend the "Go to the Gym Every Once in a While and Eat Greasy Fast Food Several Times a Week Diet", so she should hardly be telling you that your more sensible efforts are ridiculous.