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Old 01-11-2010, 11:54 PM   #1
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Default I'm back (with progress pics)... but I don't know what I need

Hi ladies and gents,

I am sorry I have been away for a while. I kinda disappeared in the beginning of December, and abandoned a challenge or two (I'm so sorry Team Tangerine). However, I had other things going on- mainly, my Dad was rushed to the hospital with what we all thought was a heart attack. Turned out to be pneumonia. But, in the process of testing him for his heart, they found that he had a number of health problems- all of them related to his poor eating habits. Fatty liver, diabetes- the doctors basically told him, change your lifestyle or die sooner rather than later. He got the message, and both he and my sister are working to lose weight and eat healthier together.

It was a scary time for me. It was also right around the holidays. So, 3FC kind of took a back seat for a while.

However, I am back, and I need help... because I am not sure what I need, lol. In my time away, I still managed to lose 4 lbs (which is a mystery to me, honestly), and I am currently 119. Personally, I am pretty darn close to where I want to be weight-wise. However, I still have some jiggly bits, and I am not sure how much I can improve on them. I don't know if it's loose skin, or fat (honestly, how can I tell??). I know I need to up my weight training even more. For Christmas I got a Wii Fit, as well as a pilates DVD w/ resistance bands (The Reformer) and a new set of weights.

However, I am very torn here. My husband and I had a heart to heart discussion, and he told me that he thinks I am too thin now. When I stretch, you can see my ribs quite clearly. I have bony shoulders and a big rib cage, so they stand out more than usual. My boobs are practically gone. He told me he misses my old boobs ("somewhat" he says, but I know it's more than that... he pays much less attention to them now). Personally, I am happy where I am. He tells me I looked perfect 10 lbs ago, and should have stopped there and maintained.

Both weights are well within the healthy range.

I have to ask, how much should his opinion matter? On one hand, it's my body, and I can do whatever I darn well please with it, since I am the one that has to live in it. However, I worry that my husband might actually be LESS attracted to me now- and whether it's "right" or not, his opinion is really important to me.

I dunno what to do. Thoughts?

I am going to post some comparison pics: bikini pics at 128-ish, and workout pics (in my new workout gear that the hubby bought me) taken today at 119:

128:





119:





I appreciate any and all input. Thanks all - I missed you guys!

P.S. I have a cruise coming up at the end of February. I really want to work on my abs between now and then to get ready for wearing my bikini
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Old 01-12-2010, 07:43 AM   #2
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Hey there!

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with you now or at 128. You are bikini ready now, and would have been at 128 as well. You don't need to lose more weight.

I'd shift focus to maintaining weight and having a healthy body instead of always pushing to fix the one little thing you don't like. There will always be something you don't like, but to an outsider's point of view, those things aren't even noticeable.

You ask why your husband's opinion should matter--and I agree that it's your body--but it matters in the sense that it's an outside opinion. Sometimes those can be helpful input, other times not so much. If you weighed 150 and he told you you were too thin, it would be a little different.

But you are fine now. Try to relax!

Jay
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:30 AM   #3
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I think you look fantastic! You still have curves and you have some muscle mass....not like someone who is anorexic and has loss that. To me, honestly, you are the perfect size. I do not see where you are underweight at all or anything to worry about. It seems there are two sets of men, IMHO, one set loves his wife or GF to be the perfect size and doesn't like it when she gains weight...another set is ok if she is heavier cause she won't get as much attention from other men. Well, maybe there is a third set who is supportive either way and I think that comes from age but I've never found that set I think deep down all men want their wife or GF to look great....but some are scared they may get left behind (IMHO). I'm pretty independent so I say do what makes you happy cause trying to please someone else will never work.....you will never be happy doing that. Of course, I wouldn't be saying this if you were underweight...but you look very healthy. I wish I was your size!
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Old 01-12-2010, 09:07 AM   #4
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First off, I think you look great in both photos! As long as both are in the range considered healthy, I wouldn't worry about being too thin. I wouldn't say that you need to lose any more, though... you look fantastic where you are.

I do think that you're a bit "curvier" (in all the right places) in the bikini photo. Maybe that slightly curvier look is what your husband is missing. I know that even at my weight right now, I have an obvious hourglass figure that my husband finds attractive, even if it is a large one LOL
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Old 01-12-2010, 09:22 AM   #5
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I think you look great in both pics, and your abs look totally bikini-ready to me! You may find, esp. if these last 4 pounds came off mostly as a result of stress non-eating, that 119 isn't really a sustainable weight for you, and if so, I would say that's absolutely fine. While I see NOTHING wrong with your body in either pic, I'd say that if you still think you have work to do, definitely focus on toning rather than losing more weight!
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Old 01-12-2010, 11:12 AM   #6
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I think you look great in both pictures,maybe your husband just doesn't want you to lose anymore weight(which i don't think you need to do)

I understand what your going through a bit and I think i will have your problem when I get closer to my goal. My husband likes bigger girls, women he finds attractive tend to look at least 20 lbs overweight. In fact if I show him progress pictures on here that I think are impressive he always thinks the women look "perfect" at around 150-160. But I haven't been 150 in 10 years(at least) and he's never really seemed to mind, so I figure he will adjust when I'm 135(or lower). Maybe that's what your husband needs, time to adjust to your new body.
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Old 01-12-2010, 11:20 AM   #7
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You look HOT!!!!! Maybe instead of losing more weight you should start weight training. Also instead of gaining those 10 lbs that your husband misses maybe you can just maintain at your current weight. My husband opinion matters a lot to me also so I can definitely understand.
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Old 01-12-2010, 11:43 AM   #8
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I think you look fantastic in both pictures, and healthy in both pictures.

As for your husband's opinion, I think it depends on how important it is to you. If staying at 119 is VERY important to you, something that you feel very strongly about, it is your body after all, you should do what you want. It's not like you're at an unhealthy weight. But if it's something that isn't that important to you, maybe see what happens and get back up to 129. I think it would be frustrating to purposely gain 10 lbs back after having lost almost 50 lbs, which maybe is part of your hesitation. You could always compromise at 124!

In the end though, it is up to you.
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Old 01-12-2010, 11:50 AM   #9
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While I wouldn't say you're too thin now, IMHO you looked really good in the bikini shot. I can see where your husband is coming from and to be honest, I would feel the same if my husband wasn't too happy with my weight. If you really feel so much better at the weight you're at now, then I say stay there... BUT, if you think maybe you could stand to gain a few, do it. It'll make your husband happy and you'll still look gorgeous! Just give it time for your body to settle down and find it's niche.

add: You should keep in mind though too that this weight is as new for him as it is for you. So maybe he thinks you're too thin now, but he might get used to it?
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Old 01-12-2010, 11:53 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carlyjordon2002 View Post
You look HOT!!!!! Maybe instead of losing more weight you should start weight training. Also instead of gaining those 10 lbs that your husband misses maybe you can just maintain at your current weight. My husband opinion matters a lot to me also so I can definitely understand.
What she said!

As far as what your husband thinks, as long as he isn't being a jerk, it is vitally important to listen to his feedback. From what you've posted in this thread, it sounds like he's a good guy with his head on straight. None of us see those "jiggly bits" you're talking about. You're firm and lean and look great. As carly said, it's probably time to back off the weight-loss and focus on firming up. Your body will naturally fluctuate to a healthy weight given the proper diet, whether it's at 120 or 130.
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Old 01-12-2010, 12:01 PM   #11
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Sorry to hear about your father, but I think it's great that health is the new family focus!

I think you're adorable. If you feel healthy and your doctor feels you're at a good place, I say go with that.
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Old 01-12-2010, 03:58 PM   #12
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Yeah, you look hot -- I don't see any loose skin (I can show you mine if you need to compare, ) I think toning with weights would be good for you to see some definition. If you want to focus on your abs via exercising the abs, that would work. But also know that ab definition, particularly in women, is found in the kitchen. From what I have read, most women have a hard time seeing tone in their middle, but in order to do so, you'll need to consider a diet for that, generally lower in carbs than most. Also, I have read that to see abs in women requires a decently low body fat percentage -- one that i personally do not want to work hard enough to have. Good luck.

Oh, and my hubby pics on me for being too thin too
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Old 01-12-2010, 06:32 PM   #13
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Look, I would just keep between 120 and 130 as your long term maintenance range. Life happens, and as you transition from loss to maintenance, you'll naturally settle into a space that's comfortable and sustainable. I wouldn't start dieting again until you hit 130, and I wouldn't start intentionally eating more until you hit 120. Long term problem solved - and you and your husband will recognize as time goes on that a five to ten pound range is perfectly normal and is much more livable than expecting to always be at "his ideal" or "your ideal."
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Old 01-12-2010, 06:47 PM   #14
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You look beautiful!! And if jiggly bits you mean tummy and thighs, you'll probably never get rid of them because of genetics. Grrr. But, you know, you're slim and feminine and touchable looking. try maintaining this weight and see how that goes - it may end up being too hard to maintain and you might gain a little too. It won't make too much difference - you are stunning!


I'm sorry to hear hubby is having trouble adjusting, though I'm sure he is still very proud of you!

I'm sure he'll adjust in time.

Or, you could maybe take some belly dance or stripper pole classes to change his mind I heard those are actually pretty tough
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Old 01-12-2010, 08:37 PM   #15
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I know how you feel....when I was at my ideal weight, my breasts were almost non-existent and my husband likes them the way they are now....although he won't admit it. He's definitely a breast man and when they get smaller, he starts to pay a lot less attention to them, which is really hurtful. I'm actually considering getting implants...I don't want to and he is completely against the surgery (even though he will still support me if I decide to go ahead...but he hates elective surgery)...anyway, it's obvious to me what he really thinks by the way he acts. I think you look very good and you should be very proud of yourself. I personally have a hard time telling the difference in your photos simply because you're wearing two different things. Maybe if your second photo was also in a bikini, it would be easier to tell.
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