Sometimes I hate my head. It's not nice to me!

I bought a pair of "Right Fit" pants at Lane Bryant that fit like a glove, so I purchased a second pair, same size, online. When I received them, they were ridiculously tight. I could barely button them (could I even button them?) and I could definitely not sit in them. They were tight through the rear, hips and thighs.

At Thanksgiving they fit! They were comfortable.

Today, they're loose. I was surprised when I slipped into them this morning and was overjoyed when I realized I could not feel them on my thighs when I sat.

Yay, right?

Then my brain starts telling me, "Duh, you stretched them out when you kept trying them on before. That's why they fit."

I wish I could shut off these negative thoughts and just go with the positive ones.

I know how that can happen but honestly you can't stretch them out just trying them on so Kuddos! Now tell your brain to behave and tell you nice things only or else! I know it should be that easy. Your doing great!

It's really difficult when our image of ourselves doesn't match the reality, and I think that's what is happening for you. You know that you've lost 17 pounds because that's what the data says, but your image of yourself is still heavier.

Can you fit into the jeans after they've been washed? My guess is "yes". Then guess what--they fit, and it's because you lost weight. I've stretched out jeans to fit myself before, but in my experience it takes MONTHS of wearing the same jeans, day after day, as I slowly get fatter.

As a side note--doesn't it make you NUTS when two pairs of jeans that are the same size, same style, same EVERYTHING fit so differently? I shop a lot in Seattle but that's 2 hours from home, so I have to try on everything when I buy it, even if it's a duplicate item, because I can't just assume that the same size will fit the same. Grrrrr!

It is totally frustrating!

I love the "Right Fit" line because when they do fit, they fit great. (I'm about to mention tiny sizes...keep in mind this is LANE BRYANT sizing) But I have jeans that are a size 3 and slacks a size 2 that all fit the same. Now this other pair os size 2's didn't fit at all. Maybe the first pair was the pair that really didn't fit. Maybe I was really a size 3 like the jeans and the size 2 slacks were the fluke. I just connected that...hmmm...

In any case, the pants that do fit now, and are getting bigger daily, are the kind of material that doesn't give. So telling myself I stretched them is really just cruel. And I KNOW that. So why do I do that to myself?

Speaking of stretching pants, am I the only one who hates the current trend of all jeans being "stretch jeans"? I hate those pants! They only fit right for a couple hours! And if you wear them for more than a day, which I'm very guilty of, they fall right off with a second or third wearing and then are super tight again when you wash them. I don't think they flatter any shape because they don't hold anything in!

Eliana--first of all, congratulations on your pants getting bigger. That is a good feeling, especially when they were tight before. I know what you mean re: the voice in your head. In my opinion, the "negative voice" you are referring to is the biggest obstacle to losing weight for many of us. Recognize it (which you clearly do) and push back against it. You are doing great; keep up the good work!

J

I'm wondering where the straight-leg jeans are? Maybe it's just because I live in Podunk, USA, but I want the dark-rinse, straight-leg jeans that Stacy talks about on What Not To Wear. The jeans around here that are labeled "straight leg" are more like skinny jeans; very tightly tapered down at the ankle and so high-waisted as to appear ridiculous. Everything else is boot cut, and for some reason, all the boot-cut jeans that I find are labled "fitted through hip and thigh". Nothing fills a girl with fat thighs full of more dread than the phase "fitted through hip and thigh". Even if I can find something I can squeeze my legs and butt into (that's not tapered), then I have to deal with the hugely gaping waist. Admittedly, it's getting a little better since I've lost some weight but jeans are still very tricky to buy for me.

I love the Right Fit jeans. I only have one pair, and it does stretch a lot (the clerks warned me of this), and they do go from too tight to too loose between washings - but that's with wearing them all day. They're tight in the morning and loose in the evening - after hours of wear. I don't see how you could have stretched them that far just trying them on.

Are you measuring your progress by clothing fit alone, or are you using the scale too (or at least a measuring tape). With a back-up method, you don't have to worry about whether your clothes are stretching.

I love Right Fit too. Too bad they're so dang expensive. I bought them when I was settling for that weight. Now I'm hoping to only be in them for a season, so $50+ is too much for me to spend on them.

I use the scale too and have used a measuring tape in the past. But it doesn't matter. My brain plays really mean tricks on me. If I lose two pounds, I hear an initial "Yay" in my head, and then comes "But goodness, look how much you have to go" or "What's 2 lbs when you have 100 to lose?" With the tape measure, it was "Gee, do you think you could have had any tighter around your thigh?" or "Well last time you held the tape looser around the body part."

I'm just mean to myself. The only thing I'm nice to myself about is my fingers and they're already skinny. I love feeling my once too tight rings slip around on my fingers. But then I can still tell myself, well you were retaining a lot of water before.

It's ok! I'll get over it. I just wish I could be as positive with myself as I am with other people.

You can learn to be your friend! That is what I am trying to do with myself. I am trying to be gentle with myself and talk nice to myself.

Did you ever think that the manufacturing part of Lane Bryant made a mistake? Could the pants be labeled wrong? Heck no! Because there has to be something wrong with you!

I know...cuz that is exactly what I do!

Of course, I grew up in a VERY judgemental and critical family! It is hard to change that voice inside because I heard it for so many years. And I am that way sometimes to other people. And I don't like myself when I do that.

I can change. You can change. We can learn to become our very best friends to ourselves. I know we can!!

Ugh. Jeans. Evil, horrible jeans. They never fit right. Sometimes I have to try on four or five pairs of the same cut/size to find one that fits right. When they cut the fabric, they use giant steel cutters and they bow in under the weight of the fabric. The ones cut on the top are significantly larger than the ones on the bottom.

I agree that you can teach yourself to be kinder to yourself - and you do it the same way you're being mean - you talk to yourself. You reprimand the "mean" you and stand up for the part of you that is your best friend. Every mean thought you have, you say after it "I would never think that about anyone else, so if it's not true for my best friend who isn't me - it's not true for my best friend who IS me."

As for the price of Right Fit - they're much cheaper at Fashion Bug stores. Fashion Bug is owned by the same parent company as Lane Bryant, and they get in the same jeans. And the regular price is $26 instead of Lane Bryant's nearly $50 (for identical jeans). The only difference is that Lane Bryant carries a few more styles (but in my experience Fashion Bug carries a wider range of sizes within those styles, and through the store in general).