Why do I keep falling off the wagon..?
 

So, I've been trying for awhile now to eat healthier, avoid junk and work out..but i keep falling of the wagon and ending up eating more than i KNOW i should or eating greasy pizza (like i did last night) and finding excuses to not work out. WTF!? I feel like an utter failure. :( :s:

Why can't i fight my temptations and cravings? Blah.. :stress: When i do.. I end up thinking about that piece of cake or another piece of pie i could be eating right now. Then, and hour later...I find myself digging into a piece of chocolate cake and regretting it as soon as i take that last bite.. *cry* I've fell off the wagon all this week and i can't break my old habits.. help?????? :?:

It's hard to say why you're not sticking with it... unless I knew a ton more about you. I can tell you though that it took me 3 YEARS to finally figure it out and get with the program. I would lose and gain -- or TRY to lose weight. I think that my mentality was in the wrong all that time and I so wish that I could go back and tell my old self just how easy it really is to stay on track. I have found out many things about myself since I started my weight loss journey. 1. It's not hard, it's incredibly easy. I just needed to stop thinking about what I couldn't have and focus on what I could. 2. I CAN DO IT! I always would say, well if I lose weight. This time, there is no IF, it's when.
There are so many other things, I think that it all comes down to - it will work when you're ready. When you're ready to give up pizza (if you have to because it leads to another bad choice), when you're ready to devote 20, 30, 60 minutes a day to exercise (whether you enjoy it or not), when you're ready to finally learn how to live a healthy (for you) lifestyle and not waiver when it gets tough. Like I said though, it took me so long to finally find what works for me... You'll figure it out, it may just take some time and lots of thought.
*sidenote: I saw you joined the new year's thread... I'm in there too! We're a pretty good bunch. ;) (As are many, many of the ladies and gentlemen here.)

Well maybe you haven't found what works for you.

I like calorie counting because I can literally work anything into my diet. I eat 1600-2000 calories a day. Some days I eat more but I also make sure I am more active. Getting my GoWear Fit actually gave me alot of freedom. Because I could fluxuate my calories. So didn't feel like working out? Fine less calories today. Etc....maybe you just need more flexibility.

BTW, its fairly proven that when you cut something out completely.....it won't work...

Just stick with it. Everyday is hard but I have realized it does get easier.

I feel your pain! All I can say as a not-very-successful dieter/health enthusiast(?) is that you gotta PLAN. I have heard it from people here and I know it from my own experience... almost every day so far that I don't plan falls far short of my goals.

For example, I am not athletic at all. I don't like the feeling of being winded and out of shape and incompetent. But I found when I had classes at the gym (Body Pump, Yoga, Zumba, whatever), it became part of the things I *did*. As in: "I can't go to X this afternoon, because I have my class."
Also, I started the Couch to 5K program, which is intervals of walking and running and you do it at your own pace. It is designed to be done 3 times per week. I am in the 7th week now, and except for a 4-day lapse over Thanksgiving, I have done it every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. No negotiation, I have to work it in my day because it's my *running day.*

About diet - things like going out to dinner or having pizza have to be planned around. Either plan something as healthy as possible from the menu, plan to have ONLY 1 or 2 pieces of pizza, or my favorite (if we are home), I make my own whole wheat pita bread pizza and feel great about it!

I have been on South Beach and I have calorie-counted. The bottom line is that I need RULES about eating. I am way too black and white. Like "well I ate all this candy so today is shot, might as well pig out and start fresh tomorrow...":rollpin:

Having irresistible stuff around you is HARD. I'm not so good with that. Maybe you can find ways to keep things like that in an inaccessible place (assuming you have family members or roommates who want junk around). When I lived alone, life was much easier 'cause I didn't bring junk in the house, staring at me, challenging me to be strong... so you will definitely have to figure out how to handle that.

One thing I have learned, and I am trying to apply to my own struggle, is that you kinda have to be a hard-*** about this - with yourself and others around you. During your weight loss stage, things have to be non-negotiable, like 3 days/week exercise, a walk every night after dinner, 1500 calories every day - WHATEVER you decide. You can always re-evaluate later.

Planning and having rules are the only things that have ever worked for me. I certainly can't be trusted to make good choices without a plan. Repeatedly I have proven that it just doesn't happen, despite my really good intentions.

Don't know if any of this helps - it is what I am struggling with as well. Hope you find your way soon! Hugs - :hug:

There is some great advice above! I agree with crcossel, who said calorie counting is effective for her. I've been logging my food choices daily at Sparkpeople.com, and it gives me a breakdown of my intake for the day. Many weight plans allow you to have foods that you are craving, but in moderation, and you plan around them. As long as it fits in your caloric budget, you can have it! Just eat healthier during other meals, and you will be fine. As far as exercising goes, set a goal of 3 times a week for 15-30 minutes, and increase your time each week little by little. Work into it gradually, and eventually it will become habit to you.

Your post describes a lot of the struggles I've had.

I now realize - from experience - that the first day of getting back "on track" is going to be really, really hard. I accept that. (I don't like it, but I accept it.) I also know that the second day will be a little bit easier. And so on.

I know that if I stick with the plan, in about a week I'll see some progress on the scale. I know that will make me feel great! Success (even a small amount) is the best motivator in the world.

So, I'm willing to tough it out for a few days at the beginning. I know that if I do the work, the plan will work.

Can you have faith that if you do the work, your plan (whatever plan you're using) will work, too? Because it will.

I think if you have a little success, you'll feel better about the sacrifices you have to make and the challenges ahead.

When it comes to temptation, I try to give myself a fighting chance by having only healthy food in the house. I keep binge foods out. I would never have a whole cake or pie in the house, or full-fat ice cream, or a package or Oreos.

I do love sweets, and I plan for something sweet but low-fat every day. It might be a serving of fat-free frozen yogurt or a low-fat ice cream bar. Those aren't binge foods for me. I can enjoy a serving without going hogwild.

Once in awhile (maybe once or twice a month), I let myself have something I truly love. I go outside the house for it. I buy a single serving of cheesecake or peach cobbler or a juicy hamburger, and I savor it. I don't feel guilty, because I planned for it.

Knowing I can have what I love makes it easier to wait. There will always be cake in the world - I don't have to eat it today. It will be there next week or next month or next year.

:)

I always need a source of inspiration. This time it was seeing my cousin for the first time after she'd lost 100 lbs!! I wanted (want) so badly to BE her! I look at a brownie, envision HER, and it's no contest!

Find your inspiration, be it a picture of someone your height and goal weight, or a dress you want to get into.

EmmaD-I do that way to many times..that's what i'm trying to stop. I eat something unhealthy and then i feel like my WHOLE day of eating healthy is ruined so might as well pig out and start fresh tomorrow.. I know that's very wrong and i need to stop it! I do need some rules tho, and i'm setting them today! Thanks for the advice.. you've helped greatly! :D :carrot:

The hard thing is following the rules.. I'm gonna try my hardest to follow them & i'm going to start PLANNING my meals and work-outs..I think a good guideline will help me keep on the straight and narrow. THANKS! :)

There is a saying... People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan...

It's also important (at least, it is for me) to remember that you *can* have that cake. You're just choosing not to. If I want a brownie or a piece of cheesecake or whatever, I tell myself "there will be more, I don't need it right now." After we've lost all the weight, there will be more [insert food here].

That's a dangerous concept to me. I'm trying to eat now in a way that I can maintain for life. If I go back to anything close to what I used to consider "normal" I will pack on the pounds again. So for me, it's not realistic to say I'll never have cake again or even that once I reach goal I can eat cake again. But I can learn to eat it only once a week or on a day that I've planned ahead so I have enough calorie deficit built up.

LoL. That's not what I meant at all. :)

Many people say "I can't eat this" or "That food is bad." Instead, I think, people should say, "I could eat this, but it's not good for my plan right now." It's a [not so] simple mindset change, like most of weight loss. Turn "I can't have this" into "I'm choosing not to have this right now."

Keeping that in mind, when I'm faced with what I "want and shouldn't have" I can make the decision if I really want it. Do I actually want to eat the cheesecake, or am I craving it because I always have it at this restaurant? If it's the latter, I can remind myself that there will be more cheesecake in the future, specifically for when I actually want it.

When I eat something unhealthy or something I didn't plan to eat, I don't consider it it "falling off the wagon". That implies failure. I just factor that choice into my day (or the next few days) and make up for it. I eat less, or exercise more.

I have a motto: Everything counts.

(I didn't think this up. I read it somewhere.) The idea is that everything I do matters. It's all part of the whole. If I make unwise choices, I don't just "blow it off" or think "well, that diet failed" or "I may as well give up". I just factor that (the pizza or cake or whatever) into my plans. I subtract calories somewhere else, or walk an extra day.

Or, if that's impossible, I might decide that it will take me a little longer to reach my goal because of that lapse. But, I will get there.

I see lapses as an opportunity to learn. The same tempting situations come up over and over again. They aren't going to disappear, so I need to have a plan for them.

something i like to look at to help me is searching in google for height weight photograph chart

it really helps when im losing motivations x

Well, as your sister (and thankfully your older, out of the house sister), I know it's hard. Mom over-compensates for all the things she can't do for us by cooking and BAKING. It's her way of showing love. And maybe, in a way, we feel guilty as **** (notice I don't come over often? The reason is I'm honest with myself and know that I can't resist her as much as I need to yet! I am only on Month 7 of my lifestyle change as well! ;)) by "rejecting" the only thing she can really do for us and make herself feel good. She knows she shouldn't do that... but it's hard when you're as powerless feeling as she is in her life/lifestyle.

Remember when I gave up drugs in New Orleans? Do you remember how I did it?

I LEFT.

I got away from my dealers. I got away from all the bad influences around me... left behind the friends that were in as deep as I was. Because I knew that I did NOT have the strength to say no without first removing myself from the situation itself and temptations around me. Now, after years of abstaining and learning control again, I can easily be around that kind of stuff and say no... and be glad I'm saying no.

I kind of think that is that way it's going to have to be for you. You aren't in full control of your diet and what's around you (and when you're finally on your own next year, you really need to make sure you don't keep anything in your house that will tempt you! I STILL can't, for the most part) so you kind of have to make do, but without first learning to stay away from it, it's pretty darned hard.

But, do what you can, as I've been telling you. Maybe if you do like I do and allow yourself that ONE snack a day and be STRICT with yourself. You ate your snack... you're done. No more for today. By allowing yourself that one snack (and make sure it's a decent size... no cake sized piece of brownie or anything hehe), you're curbing the craving but setting a rule for yourself and sticking by it. It also helps you REALLY think about that one thing that you really want.... because once it's eaten for the day, that's IT.

Good luck kiddo... I know you can do it!

Ah! Got it. This line of thinking I'm on board with. :D Sorry I misunderstood! :dizzy:

Yeah, I tell myself that i'm not going to eat mom's tuna cassarole (she made that last night..and today COOKIES bc of that party.. o.O) and that i'm going to have a salad and a yogurtwith walnuts ontop.. and she ends up dishing me up a whole WHOPPING plate of 300 calorie/cup of noodles and pasterized cheese and starchy peas..throws it in front of my face and says DIG IN! She won't even let me dish up my own plate so i can control my portion size... bleh!

Tho, it is her way of dishing up some love..ha! I feel guilty for not eating the food she slaves for in the kitchen for some odd hours. :S I'm not going to be able to do much until I'm in control of my own life, have a job, have access to a gym, and can buy my own food and make my own food choices! I can't wait till that day b/c i'm so itching to lose weight and be healthy! ^.^

I feel for mom and that she can't do much for us (having to do with dad..lack of money and a car.. >:|) She has to cook with what she's giving, and knowing dad (the pop,sugar,and chocolate man) he doesn't always buy healthy food and complains much about my "diet" food. All she can do is ask dad for ingredients and bake away with her love mixed in! Tho, she does TRY and make it as healthy as possible..she keeps bugging dad for whole grain bread,pasta, & flour. Also, more veggies and fruits. But the one thing she can't give up baking and she does that quite often.

THANKS! AND LOVE YOU! :D

Hi Hannahboo. :)

I can only tell you what works for me......and of course, you are describing a situation at home, with your mom and her cooking/baking, that is not an issue I have to deal with....and that needs to be factored in also.

But....as for me, I have never been able to have success or to stick to a diet unless I am strictly low-carbing. It's like the difference between night and day for me.....carbs beget carbs. If I eat bad carbs...I am constantly hungry and constantly craving....yet I stop eating those carbs and suddenly doing this diet is a piece of cake (:D) for me. I've not cheated even ONCE since I started quite a few months ago. AND, there are plenty of sweets here (for my dad and my son)....that don't even remotely tempt me.

I'm also on the same page as many of the posters here wrote in their replies.....that I MUST have rules. I do think that part of this is simply my OCD and also a bit of magical thinking.....a sort of "I'm safe as long as I NEVER cheat...ie: the diet gods will reward me.:D I am quite comforted by the strict Atkin's rules and by having my Atkin's books here.

And lest anyone say this is a set-up for long-term failure....I did this back in the early 90's and kept the weight off for 10 years....until I was put on a medication that caused excessive weight gain....in 2005.

BUT...if you are anything like me (and I truly do think that I'm a classic carbohydrate addict)........low carbing may help you. It is SO much easier for me this way.....the constant hunger and the intense cravings are simply GONE. And I've not struggled one bit on this diet....as long as I stick to the carb restrictions.

Like I said, I have not cheated even ONCE......because really, nobody holds a gun to our heads and forces us to eat anything. It IS our choice whether to eat it or not. Sure, there are gonna be times when others encourage us or make us feel obligated to eat something off plan.....BUT, believe me, one CAN deal with these and not go off plan. We don't HAVE to eat anything we shouldn't. And for me, I NEVER make exceptions....because one would lead to two and two would lead to three......and *I* NEED strict rules. Not only that....but I also understand WHY these rules are working for me....which only reinforces why I need to strictly adhere to them and make NO exceptions.

So.....the bottom line here is that I can only tell you what is working for me. And if you are anything like me.....it might possibly work well for you. I know we are all different and what works for one person might not work for someone else.....but if what you're doing isn't working for you, IMO it's worth it to try something different.

deena :)

Hun, you may not be dieting according to your food personality. What does this mean?

You tell ME I can not have something, and I become an obsessive little hoarder prone to binging on that ONE thing I can not have.

I am definitely part of the "everything fits in my plan" crew. Sometimes if I am looking at something, I really want...I go with the "just one bite". If it is at a party...totally maintainable...if I BUY A PACK...forget it. So I don't go out of my way to buy something I am really craving. What I do is buy it for someone else and ask for ONE...heh.

There are alot of negative connotations in your post. Fall of plan, failure, can't have this..

OH I lose weight on low carb diets too. I cut out sugar and all non organic food, and ate totally vegan..and lost 65 lbs eating food I love...but the sugar fiend in me went completely beserk...and I had a love affair with some nutty buddies one day, and never looked back.

Now, my diet is considered low glycemic with some high glycemic foods worked in for treats.