i remember you to Kitty, that makes it even worse!! if i had done it the first time i would be at goal to. GAHHH!!!! so frustrating.

I think im going to count cals and just try to eat the right foods?

ive done a spreadsheet to track cals, and ive got a little pocket diary to write in during the day.

i bet you look amazing, thankyou so much for posting.

Something else which i realised is how much we being overweight has made me lose out on in my life. Being geuinely confident instead of faking it. Taking compliments at face value instead of getting embarassed and uncomfortable.

I constantly worry about what others think of me, even delivery guys or supermarket workers. I work in the public eye and it makes me more panicky at work to! i need to do this once and for all.

I have been exactly where you are now. I would start a diet plan and then fall off of the proverbial wagon and start again.... and again... and again. In fact I was doing that right before I truly started on the weight loss journey I am on now. Looking back, I think that my many failed attempts at starting were sort of a "pre-conditioning" for what I am doing now. It took me a bit of time to find the right path (for me) and for things to click, but once things clicked, I haven't looked back.

You have received some very sage advice here from people that have served as inspirations to me on my weight loss journey. I agree with the previous posters. Here is my bit of advice:

Pick a plan you can live with for the long haul. I have found time and again that if I feel too deprived or get bored with the food I am eating, it is a recipe for disaster. Choose a plan that fits your lifestyle. In my view, your plan should be something that teaches you how to eat properly for the rest of your life (i.e. portion control, nutrition), etc.

For me, the first few weeks were the hardest. You will be hungry and it is a distraction. In my opinion, that is when you are the most vulnerable to the voice in your head that tries to derail you. This time around, I have been particularly aware of that voice. I am not sure I ever really paid that much attention to my inner voice before. Once you become aware of it and actively work against it, you can make tremendous progress in my view. I think so much of weight loss occurs in your mind.

Finally, what has helped me is just sheer momentum. If you can put everything you have into the first few weeks of your weight loss plan, you will see progress and you will get into a good rut (as opposed to the bad rut you seem to find yourself in right now). For me, my good habits have built upon themselves...one good day built upon another and another and so on. Suddenly, a few months will go by and you will be shocked at how easy it is some days (that is not to suggest that it is always easy, however).

I wish you the very best on your weight loss journey. The good news is that you have everything you need within you to do this; you have the power to do it.

Cheers,

J

i totally agree it needs to be less of a diet or specific eating plan and more of a change for life

ive decided to calorie count. i think its the easiest way, no more listening to that voice. im not doing it again.

For me, It was looking at food as fuel. The first 2 months were very hard. I started counting calories and when I realizd what I was putting in my mouth, I was horrified. I gave up whites first, bread, rice, flour, sugar. I thought I would die. Guess what, I didn't lol. Then I tried to have a bite of cheesecake and thought I would puke. It tasted like greasy lard. Seriously.

I dug in with both feet and refused to budge on the white issue for 2 months. Then I learned how to slowly incorporate some of them into my life. Now I eat clean for the most part. Jack LaLane said "If man made it, don't eat it". I try to live by that. Eat pretty, eat a rainbow. I also stick to protein with every meal and have 2 snacks a day. So I eat 5 time a day. And I never, ever have fast food. I also am a fastidious PIA for waitresses when I dine out lol. Now it is a lifestyle for me. You can do it. It took me many, many years to finally figure this out but I conquered my emotional eating, bingeing and sugar cravings.

Just say no to certain food. Say "I choose not to eat this". Because it is a choice. Period. You can do this. I researched clean eating for hours and hours on the internet. Filling-low cal foods are another. Learn these thing and make them your bible. It works. Best of luck on your journey.

Hey Paula.....

Something that helps me at times, that I think I read on here is the idea that allowing yourself to overeat day in and day out is kinda like having a spoiled little child in your home. You are overindulging too much. You just need to tell yourself "no". I've had feelings of sadness that I can't just eat what I want or that this is hard to do and I remember to tame the "whiny brat" inside me. Can't have that cookie today? Aww, poor baby, get over it! LOL Want to eat a large popcorn at the movies? Sorry, the answer is NO! It's like I'm setting boundaries for myself.....being my own parent so to speak. I'm not "spoiling" myself with food anymore, and believe me, a "food brat" is just what I was! So thinking this way helps me sometimes, although the brat still emerges at times. LOL.

Reading these posts has been incredibly helpful for me! There is not much advice I can offer that hasn't already been said, except that me coming to this website everyday and taking part in challenges and being brutally honest with myself is what's making me lose weight sensibly. I've been told by people without weight problems oh why don't you just eat your 5 a day and do some exercise, well because I don't seem to be able to do that without accountability and conscious effort. To get to an obese BMI there is somekind of problem with self-control obviously, I have put on 68lb in 2 years, so I have to be my own parent as Kellost said and say no San, you need to get your rear into gear not tomorrow or next month, but right this very minute. It's everyday choices constantly; do I really want that packet of crisps from the corner shop or would a minimilk icecream be enough, or asking am I really that hungry or am I just bored or greedy or trying to fix some emotional problem with that extra serving of food.

Wow, you've gotten a lot of great feedback on this thread, obviously many of us can relate in some way.

I just started my plan about 3 weeks ago, and it hasn't been easy, but it's getting easier, and I know it will continue to get even easier. for me. I've had a couple of days that weren't my best, BUT I kept going. Some days I don't feel like working out, but I do it, and you know what? I feel so good afterward. Not just physically, but mentally as well. Proud.

Calorie counting is a great method, and one I've been trying out these past couple of days. I like both FitDay and Sparkpeople, but I've been favoring Sparkpeople. You log in your foods, it calculates the calories for you and then gives you different charts to see where you stand. You set your goal, and the site gives you info on how to reach it. I love it! I wish I would have found it before, but maybe I wouldn't have been ready for it then.

As you probably know, 3FC is amazing in terms of reaching out to others for support, and sometimes reaching out to give support. We're all in this together.

thankyou all for your support, so far i am beating the voice.

im calorie counting, and reducing my portions.

im also gonna crack out the wii fit plus i still havent used, heck even if i do that 3 times a week at first, alongside my very active job i shouldnt have any issues.

i weighed this morning with 2 pounds down... so hopefully this will spur me on even further!!

thankyou all again!¬

Pretty Paula. I HAVE MISSED YOU. You and I both know you CAN DO THIS. I know you want this for yourself. YOU CAN HAVE IT.

For me I had to restructure darned near everything in my life. I changed my sleep habits (go to sleep earlier to avoid late night binges) and find ways to stay busy during my day so that I don't spend them eating. I changed my foods. Vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbs in moderation. I looked and still actively look for the lowest calorie and healthiest options that are acceptable to me. A couple of months in I decided I was going to incorporate movement daily. I started by walking and progressed to running. Do whatever you can do from now on. The hardest part was getting started. Namely the first week or two of my new life. I truly do find the more crap I eat, the more crap I want. It is better for me to avoid simple carbs at all costs. Whole foods satiate me, make me feel good, and keep me from wanting things I shouldn't! Last, I surround myself with support. I come to the 3FC where I know it is safe. I do not debate my weightloss efforts with anyone really.

Set yourself for success. Clear out your environment. Start draipsing yourself in indulgences that are doable for you--JUST NOT IN ANYTHING POOR FOOD CHOICES RELATED! I conciously tell myself when I start thinking about pastries or something, "well I don't want to eat a dozen pastries because they will do me no good. BUT I can take a bubble bath with my new magazine. BUT I can walk the mall today and window shop and stop for coffee. BUT I can blog with the ladies of the 3FC. BUT I can have a long phone conversation. BUT I can stop and try out new cosmetics at the department store. BUT I can run a new path today rather than my old one. BUT I can watch a double feature on the Womens Channel. I think you get the point.

Good for you to be getting ahold of this now. I especially love the description of your pic--how it "swallowed your beauty." I had that wake up call too.

Again you can do this. Every one of us are here for you and understand the struggle. We get it. We get you. You are not alone.

thankyou :)

i tried to pm u back but ur box is full so to speak (!)

i feel very positive about this, knowing nothing is off limits its simply a case of debating whether the cals are worth it, and working all my fave home cooked foods in, like home made ratatouille, grilled chicken and mushroom rice. NOM NOM! i love home made food, i hate processed stuff!

my hubby (yeh i got married in the summer!) is setting up my exercise bike in the living room today so i can watch tv while i ride. ive gotta do it!

Hey sorry about my box. I deleted most everything. Lots of room now for anyone that wants to mail me! :)

Oh, too crazy about you mentioning the Ratatouie. We just came back from France. While we were there my kids watched the movie and want to make the stuff. Any pointers on low-cal method? A recipe would be great if you have the time.

KAPLODS ~ I agree that #3 & #4 are so important; they are helping me immensely. Planning prevents mistakes; journalling keeps you aware; and the correct focus (losing & maintaining) keeps you positive ...

PS ~ and your last point about advice is important too becuz when I was younger, a low carb plan worked great but as I got older, that made me ill. I have to eat a more balanced plan becuz I ended up with metabolic syndrome (or pre-diabetes); and my BSL's can go too low if I don't eat enuff whole grain carbs each day. Your plan must suit you, your body, and your lifestyle ...

im not sure how accurate or authentic it is but this is how i make it

chop 4 cloves garlic, sloice up 2 white onions and add a little olive oil or spray to a large pan

soften gently then add sliced courgettes (zuchinni?) peppers, mushrooms and soften slightly

i then add chopped tomatoes, half a can of water, salt, pepper, dried basil and dried oregano.

simmer and reduce down. :)

PAULA!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!! The last time I heard from you - you were leaving to go to Egypt with your man! That was FOREVER ago!

Sorry things haven't been great for you, but I'm selfish and happy you're back and all things considered, doing well!