Makes me sad that a post about hurt feelings is causing more hurt feelings.

I think if this post was made on a general discussion board, debate would be appropriate. But it was a vent and the OP is in need of our support, not our condemnation.

((hugs)) OP, I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt. I agree with other posters that I would likely say something and take my business elsewhere if that's at all possible. I'm all about respecting culture, but if you are not a tourist and you actually live in that country than you have every right to stand up for yourself and let others know that you are not a visitor, you are a resident and deserve respect yourself.

screamingfatgirl,

I hope that you have a chance to read this before you leave.

I really am sorry for what happened to you, and many people are. It seems unfair for you, however, to demonize the people who found offense in your comment. Why get defensive, shun them, and then leave? I feel like that would be akin to some of the Japanese people you speak of refusing to believe their comments are rude or hurtful. If you truly believe that what you said in no way stereotyped the entire Japanese population as a people--then fine. But can you really read your original paragraph and not find anything wrong with the type of language you used?

Avoiding stereotypes in how you speak is not a matter of being politically correct. It's a matter of real people--real people who have differences and feelings and shouldn't be lumped into some huge Japanese box. Those feelings should be considered when you talk (isn't that what you think?) I felt that no one was attacking you--but rather pointing out how your speech might be a bit prejudiced. So why be defensive and hit the road? That reaction seems a little childish. "You all suck! I'm leaving never to return again!" Hello 3rd grade.

In the end, I don't think your post was particularly offensive, and as a person who has studied anti-racist ideology--I like to think of myself as being particularly sensitive to potential hurtful behavior. That said; why get so defensive and essentially storm out the board? Obviously some people found it offensive. Would it be so crazy to reconsider your words?

I don't know; as a black person, people often say really hurtful and offensive things to me. I point this out. Instead of acknowledging it they say that I'm crazy and hyper-sensitive.

What's wrong with considering the feelings of others?

I don't think anyone is condemning anyone but I think there have been a few posts in this thread that have been hurtful. If someone is venting, then I don't think that gives them a free pass to say whatever they want. I'd also say it wasn't the OP post that bothered me as much as some of the subsequent posts.

I would repeat what Mandalinn82 said above. I did a lot of traveling when I worked at Microsoft and it was always interesting to see experience different cultures first hand. People in India were very surprised/interested/had lots of questions about the fact I was 30+ and not married and had no plans (at that time) to get married. Some of the questions were much more pointed/direct than would be typical in a work environment in the US. Different, definitely!

One of my dear friends was Japanese and she often told me that what she ate at work in Japan would often be the subject of conversation. If she had 4 rice balls, they would say she was eating too much. If she ate 2 rice balls, there would be comments she must be trying to lose weight. She said she just got 3 rice balls :) It was just a fascinating insight into how other cultures work!

And I have to tell one of my favorite stories from Singapore. I was there for 4 weeks. I wanted to buy some underwear. I weighed about 200 lbs. I was in a huge Singapore department-style store and found the packs of underpants. All the different sizes had animals on them. Birds or cute rabbits, kittens. The pack of panties in my size had hippos on the package. I AM DEAD SERIOUS! Ha :)

:rofl: That is a cute story

I think it's really sad that the OP came here for support, and the thread was turned into "was it racist/was it not". Even if people were offended in any way, it could have been a statement expressing their concern and then encouragement for screamingfatgirl. That's my opinion anyway.

I don't blame her for leaving, though I wish she wouldn't. I'm sure it sucked to log on & expect support and instead get criticism. :( Not saying that everyone shouldn't voice their opinion - I just feel that it wasn't meant that way and the conversation got a bit out of hand.

But you treated an entire CULTURE the same way you are saying we treated you :( That makes me sad.

As I and many other posters said, it sucks....really, truly, and genuinely sucks...that your feelings were hurt. That support occurred throughout this thread, in most posts, even those posts (like mine) that found your wording a little problematic from a cultural-acceptance perspective. I'll state it again - your feelings were hurt, and that sucks, and I'm sorry.

Since the OP has stated her intention to leave, I'm going to go ahead and close this thread.