I went out to a fancy restaurant last night for a friend's birthday. I threw caution to the wind and ordered whatever I wanted and what I wanted ended up being sea scallops wrapped in bacon and served in a champagne cream sauce with whipped potatoes and green beans. And lets not mention the warm bread served with garlic + red pepper infused olive oil and garlic soup with croutons and the pitcher of sangria The rest of the weekend wasn't a whole lot better either.

I also magically gained 4 lbs. over this past weekend. How much of it is water retention? I'm not sure but now I feel like all of last week was a total bust, a total waste of my time. I'm frustrated. It's so difficult for me to lose weight even when I am being diligent that sometimes I wonder why I bother at all. I suppose a lot of you ladies have felt the exact same way at some point or another.

Today I did a couple of different equations to find my BMR/RMR. I wanted to try a bunch of different ones and then average them out to get an idea of what my minimum caloric intake ought to be. They all put me around 1600-1700 calories. Are you kidding me?! I can't seem to lose a thing unless I'm under at least 1300 and that 1600 range is supposed to be my needs AT REST and I have a lightly active job that keeps me on my feet all day. Maybe I'm not eating enough but it seems when I up my calories I simply gain weight.

*sigh*

I guess I'm in a rut, not only my weight but mentally too. How do I get myself going? How do I become a success story?

Probably most of that 4lbs is water swing. It's really difficult to eat enough to gain 4lbs of fat in just a few days.

But even if you did, so what? You didn't get fat in a weekend and you won't lose it all in a weekend either. It's just a few pounds; don't let it become more than just a few pounds. You can't change yesterday so just put it behind you and concentrate on eating less and exercising more today.

I'm surprised to hear you say at your weight and activity level that you don't see losses if you eat more than 1300 calories a day. How are you estimating your calorie intake? Over how long a period have you tried eating at 1600 calories without seeing losses?

Thanks for the reply Carter.

I usually use fitday to estimate my calorie intake. When I'm faithful around 1300 calories a day I might lose a pound in a week but then I have trouble sticking to my guns and my limits and I go off plan. And when I go off plan I really hit the skids and go way off for weeks and it's all undone. Maybe It's as simple as not being consistent and not being diligent for a long enough period. I'll admit I have some major weaknesses and my love of food and laziness are 2 of them.

A lot of my frustration comes from my past success, I used to weigh 250 and lost 65 lbs. in about a year. Then I moved twice, new job, new life and I maintained for about a year. Now THIS year I've been stuck going back and forth from about 195 to 205. I just can't figure out why I could be so successful in the past and not get that back!

What do you do to get the numbers you put into Fitday? Are you measuring out your food? Are you making accurate guesses as to portion sizes and ingredients of things you didn't make yourself?

You said you don't lose at 1600 calories a day - did you try eating at this level for a sustained period and see yourself not losing at this level?

I'm not asking in an accusatory way - just trying to get to the bottom of what you mean when you say you can't lose if you don't go as low as 1300 calories/day.

If you have trouble sticking to your guns at 1300 calories, it's probably because 1300 calories is a bit low for your weight and activity level, so even though you'll lose at that level, it will make you tired and cranky and basically be unsustainable.

I rather think you should try aiming for 1600 for a while - not a day or a week, it takes a month to really see whether a change like that is working - and see if you don't feel better *and* lose a pound a week or so.

Good luck and good strength.

Just wanted to add that there is a difference between "upping your calories" and the food you ate at your friend's birthday and the rest of the weekend.

If you figure out the calories for just that meal, I am sure it is over 1200--how much over I can't even guess.

Note for future: When on a weight loss program, giving yourself blanket permission to eat whatever you want is definitely not a good idea, no matter whose birthday it is. Try to aim for better choices!

The water weight is probably a couple of pounds worth and will disappear--IF you get back on your plan...

Jay

I'm sure most of it is water weight as I gained 6 lbs over my 5 day getaway weekend- I know I didn't overeat- but I had no say in preparation of food at catered events so I did my best. I expect to see a huge drop by the end of the week since today I'm back on track.

I'd say if you have trouble sticking to 1300 up yourself to 1500 and give it two weeks of being on plan straight- you might be "overeating" cuz you really need more than 1300 calories a day. I'm currently averaging 1400 according to my spark people and I weigh just a few lbs more than you.

When on a diet consistency and persistance pays off. Jumping around calorie wise will just slow you down. Even though you went way over on calories for the weekend, don't consider it a bust. Get right back on track and you will see success again.

If you lose a pound on 1300 calories, you should in theory lose about half a pound on 1600.

In practice, the numbers can be much different. Some people find they lose more weight on 1800 calories than they do on 1200 - it may be that they have more energy to exercise, or other stuff could be going on.

Some folks find that reducing sodium or carbohydrates allows them to eat more calories and lose the same or more weight.

All that aside, it's possible that you have a medical issue that could be slowing your metabolism, and if you haven't already I'd suggest you ask your doctor to do the tests for insulin resistance, and other endocrine inbalances (like low thyroid). You want to catch thyroid problems early (and insulin problems too) because they can actually damage organs without treatment.

kaplods, why are you always so smart?

Aaaah! I`ve had my dinenr less than an hour ago, but just reading that makes me want to have exactly the same thing NOW! Was it as good as it sounds?

I usually *know* when I have gained weight and why, and I never weight in when I have a "bad conscience". For two days of indulgence, i`ll have two days of extra-healthy eating, and then I`ll weigh. I`ll usually have maintained and be happy with that.

Stella

boy, can I relate. it's hard. it's hard being diligent. I get frustrated with myself because I'm not as consistent as I need to be.

You didn't waste your time by sticking to your program the rest of the week (though I totally get the mentality that the week was a bust because of the indulgence). Think how much worse it might have been had you gone hog wild or even overindulged those other days? Plus, that time you spent on your program is time you devoted to better habits.

if you really feel like you're in a rut, maybe changing some of the foods you eat or type of exercise, or amount of exercise. you got other suggestions here too.

anyhoo--you're not alone, and I'm totally sure you can do this. hang in there!

I can relate to the frustration - my own journey has been excruciatingly slow. You work your rear off, you stay on plan, and the weight comes off a half pound per week. I can also understand the temptation to say - "hey, this diet and exercise thing isn't working, so why bother?" and go back to your old habits.

But here is the thing that I tell myself - if my weight is going down in increments, or staying the same, with me working my tail off, I can imagine what would happen if I threw caution to the wind and gave up. Because even staying the same is a whole lot better than gaining, and I would surely gain if I wasn't diligent about my diet and exercise choices. So that is what keeps me on plan when it just seems difficult and I want to give up.

So, just think of it this way - the scale might not be moving, but that means that it isn't going up anymore, and that is a victory in itself. You probably need to fine-tune things, as I am trying to do, but don't give up, because that will just be that much more weight that you are going to have to lose the next time.

Good luck!