I don't know what to do! I hate my body. My weight is all I think about! I am a miserable person and it all links back to always thinking about my weight!
I can't resist junk! We don't eat fast food but chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cake are my weakness!
Before I eat anything I think about needing to lose weight but its like I need to eat it anyway. Then I feel bad after.
I lost weight before getting pregnant and we plan to start trying again in 6 months. I want to lose weight so its not even harder to get in shape after the next pregnancy.
I want to be happy about my body so I can be happy and not a nasty person.
What will it take? Why can't I do it? I know I want it!
I need to lose about 30 pounds and that's still probably not a body I would be proud to be seen in a bathing suit.
Last edited by ReadyorNot; 11-10-2009 at 11:19 PM.
Get your family on board. Right now, you don't need chocolate, ice cream and cake in your life. You need to plan healthy meals, buy the stuff you need and eat what's on your plan.
For me, just one bite of an offplan food like cake can trigger me to eat more than I would want to. It's so much easier to say no to the first bite than the second. Like you, I always feel bad after. Since I don't like that feeling, I'm trying to learn to avoid it completely by reducing/eliminating the foods that make me feel out of control.
As far as a bathing suit, I am at goal weight and still hate the way I look in a bathing suit. We're always really hard on ourselves.
I don't know what to do! I hate my body. My weight is all I think about! I am a miserable person and it all links back to always thinking about my weight!
I can't resist junk! We don't eat fast food but chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cake are my weakness!
Before I eat anything I think about needing to lose weight but its like I need to eat it anyway. Then I feel bad after.
I lost weight before getting pregnant and we plan to start trying again in 6 months. I want to lose weight so its not even harder to get in shape after the next pregnancy.
I want to be happy about my body so I can be happy and not a nasty person.
What will it take? Why can't I do it? I know I want it!
I need to lose about 30 pounds and that's still probably not a body I would be proud to be seen in a bathing suit.
Of course you can resist junk. Stop telling yourself that you can't. It's as if your giving yourself permission TO. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. You're a grown up. It's okay to tell yourself no. You're a mature, responsible adult and you need to make mature responsible decisions and choices.
What will it take? Willingness. Plain and simple. Willingness on your part to do whatever is necessary, whatever is required to get the job done. Make the decision to do this once and for all and permanently.No ifs ands or buts. Make that decision and then that ensuing IRONCLAD COMMITMENT and then there's no way that it can't happen.
Losing weight IS after all a doable thing. It's not some crazy hare-brained out of this world scheme. Anyone and every one CAN do it. Yourself included. Instead of telling yourself that you can't,tell yourself that you CAN. I mean, why the heck NOT you? I know this sounds cliche, but if I can do it, trust me ANY ONE really and truly can. You just must DECIDE to. Clearly define what it is you want in life and resolve to pay the price to get it. Your choices will become clearer. You will be able to work past the initial discomfort of a changing lifestyle.
And without a doubt set yourself up for success. Rid your home of the junk. Stock up on only healthy foods. Great, tasty, delicious healthy foods, no reason to go off plan when on plan is so good. And of course, plan, plan and then plan some more. Map out your food schedule in advance, knowing where each and every snack is coming from. Try journaling your food - you bite it, you write it. It's a great weight loss tool.
And I needed to make DEFINITE NO'S. I had to (at least initially) completely ban many food items. This way there was no way I can overeat them. I had trouble stopping at a moderate portion - my solution - don't start. Once you make them definite no's, well that's it. They don't creep into your day and derail it. It wasn't restrictive at all to me, but freeing. It was wonderful to not have these foods dictate my day and my life. There's no deprivation passing up on these foods. No, the deprivation is eating them and staying fat.
You don't like your body? Well then - change it. It's up to you. The choice is yours. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. It bears repeating - you don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be.
A popular quote, often used around here comes to mind:
Losing weight is hard, maintaining weight is hard, being fat is hard - choose your hard. And honestly, once you get into this, get these new and healthy habits in place, it's really not that hard - at all. This lifestyle is no burden or hardship. It's a joy and a pleasure. It's yours for the taking!
Ultimately, I think I had to change my attitude toward food. Food is not comfort, and food doesn't fix anything. Junk food may provide some kind of temporary self-medication, but it doesn't last. The calorie surplus ends up piling onto our bodies, a physical burden dragging us down wherever we go. It isn't worth it.
I had to decide that I didn't want to live that way anymore and choose to make concrete, measurable changes in my lifestyle - diet AND exercise. You have to make a plan, and decide to stick to the plan. And when you mess up sometimes (and we ALL do), just keep going. It will take time, and it will sometimes seem really hard. And other times seem not too bad. Maybe it will take 6 months, maybe a year, but ask yourself -- 6 months or a year from now do you want to be thinner or still be where you are now?
You CAN do this! You are stronger than chocolate cake.
I wanted to just add - which do you want MORE - to lose weight or to have a cookie/cake/some junk food. Personally, I want to lose weight more. I can have sweet things anytime I PLAN to do it. I'm in CONTROL here, and so are you.
I <3 RockinRobin's response. And it's a response like that that she gave me back in April that actually got my sh*t together. 30 lbs? Piece of low-fat cake! I've already lost that since April, so you DEFINITELY CAN. you just have to CHOOSE for it and then commit. Don't waste any more time feeling bad or sorry for yourself, show the world who is the boss here! You are! Not food!!
IMHO it takes an understanding that whatever changes I make must be for the very long term (forever is too scary.)
Another process I went thru is one of mourning. It pretty much sucked that I really needed to accept and emotionally approve of my choice to avoid cakes cookies pasta. The phrase "I choose not to" instead of "I can't" was HUGE in my process.
You can do it. My first post read exactly as your does. But it was in a 3fc blog. Someone commented that instead of feeling hungry all of the time one can eat lots and lots of healthy food to fill the tummy and avoid the desperate hunger. And I am not talking about only nonfat type stuff here. She referred me to her daily plate account as proof of this. I don't have an active one right now but I refer you to some of 3fc maintainers fitday accounts linked thru the sig.
Also, success begets success. The first steps seem really hard, but once you have achieved a meal or a day on plan, it gets easier cause you have proof that it is doable for you.
Try eating healthy for a week. Weigh yourself at the beginning of the week, and at the end of the week. As long as your honest with what you eat, you will lose weight. And it will show you that you can. Just try the one week.
First when reading your post, I thought this isn't a person who's nasty. Its a person hurting and is reaching out for help & hugs.
So here's your hugs.
You sound like you're way way too hard on yourself. Sounds like the former me. I used to beat myself up about everything and that would send me spiraling for more food. left me feeling lonely and hating myself. It took me a long time to accept and love myself. I'm not perfect, never will be. Have I ever been rude or 'nasty' to someone? Sure. Hurt someone when I really didn't mean to? Yup. Did I feel bad later and try to do better next time? Absolutely. You need to be your own best friend READYORNOT! Not your worst enemy. You deserve love, happiness, joy, peace. You deserve to have a healthy body and to love yourself and be proud of yourself.
I see you live in Cold Lake... I used to live in St Paul AB and the winters are very long cold & dark. Maybe get a membership at your tanning salon? I know I suffered from winter blues due to lack of sun and the tanning salon helped. Not sure it works for everyone, just an idea. Ask yourself why do I reach for some comfort foods? Whats going on inside yourself that you go to food to make you feel better, then leaving you feel worse in the end and you beat yourself up for it? There was a term someone told me long ago, I believe it's based on some diet, not sure which one. But the term is HALT. NAME your reason for wanting unhealthy food. H = am I hungry? A = Am I angry? L= Am I lonely? T= Am I tired?
Its a tough long road to become a healthier you but its worth every bit of energy it takes to get there. So moral of my thoughts? Don't beat yourself up, love yourself, give yourself a break and start believing in you!
I have started and fallen off the bandwagon before several times, because I am the same as you. I love chocolate and all comfort foods! I have decided though that it is time to do something really good for myself, so I am going to really try hard this time. I love homemade Banana cake with Cream cheese frosting, and had some bananas to use, but I threw them out this morning so I would not end up making the cake.
I have also not bought any junk food at the store, so it will not be here to tempt me right now. My husband is wonderfully supportive and says that we should all eat healthier and we don't need that stuff around anyway, so that is a big help.
Also, don't forget to do something just for yourself sometimes. It is important to keep your spirits up to stay on track. For example, I got myself a new hair cut and color, and my nails done, so I feel better about myself. Also, as you lose, get rid of the clothes you have outgrown and concentrate on the smaller clothes that you can now fit back into. It is too easy to be depressed and feel nothing is working if nothing else changes during the process. Losing weight is a slow process and it is easy to get discouraged if that is all you concentrate on.
Look toward the future and envision yourself in your new body! Do this daily!
There is already some great advice on here, so I just wanted to say that I have known some staggeringly beautiful 5'6", 170lb women, and not in the "you have such a pretty face if only you lost weight" way. These women had rockin bodies. Everyone's journey is personal, and what one woman considers healthy and attractive another woman might feel is too heavy, but I bet you have a much better body than you give yourself credit for, and it's easier to make this journey successfully if you start at a place of loving yourself no matter what.
Thank you all for the wonderful advice... I think the best thing for me to remember coming from all this advice is "I choose NOT to have that", instead of "I cant have that"
I would much rather be slimmer and happy then have the cake and cookies...
My husband has tried many times to help me... he knows how much I want to lose weight for ME... but then I go and try and buy something.. he says no, then I give him sad eyes or yell at him saying he doesnt want me to be fat so he says get it... Its HORRIBLE! I know he loves me the way I am and he is ONLY helping me because I have asked him to.. but then I turn it around on him....
We do have alot of healthy foods in the house, but we also have bad foods.... when I am hungry, or bored and wantign to eat I easily turn to the bad foods... we just dont have enough healthy foods here...
I know at 170 lbs I am not this disgusting huge creature.. but thats the way I feel.... in 2003 I was 210... and when I look at pictures of myself I am horrified.... I just want to look at myself and see a beautiful slim face and not see 5 rolls on my back and 2 huge rolls on my stomach...
I want my daughter to be proud of me, not embarassed because she has the only fat mommy (she isnt in school yet,but when she is).
Your posts have helped me CHOOSE NOT to have pancakes this morning.. we will have granola instead....
whats it going to take?
