whats it going to take?
 

I don't know what to do! I hate my body. My weight is all I think about! I am a miserable person and it all links back to always thinking about my weight!

I can't resist junk! We don't eat fast food but chocolate, ice cream, cookies, cake are my weakness!

Before I eat anything I think about needing to lose weight but its like I need to eat it anyway. Then I feel bad after.

I lost weight before getting pregnant and we plan to start trying again in 6 months. I want to lose weight so its not even harder to get in shape after the next pregnancy.

I want to be happy about my body so I can be happy and not a nasty person.

What will it take? Why can't I do it? I know I want it!

I need to lose about 30 pounds and that's still probably not a body I would be proud to be seen in a bathing suit.

Get your family on board. Right now, you don't need chocolate, ice cream and cake in your life. You need to plan healthy meals, buy the stuff you need and eat what's on your plan.

For me, just one bite of an offplan food like cake can trigger me to eat more than I would want to. It's so much easier to say no to the first bite than the second. Like you, I always feel bad after. Since I don't like that feeling, I'm trying to learn to avoid it completely by reducing/eliminating the foods that make me feel out of control.

As far as a bathing suit, I am at goal weight and still hate the way I look in a bathing suit. We're always really hard on ourselves.

Of course you can resist junk. Stop telling yourself that you can't. It's as if your giving yourself permission TO. Just because you want something doesn't mean you have to have it. You're a grown up. It's okay to tell yourself no. You're a mature, responsible adult and you need to make mature responsible decisions and choices.

What will it take? Willingness. Plain and simple. Willingness on your part to do whatever is necessary, whatever is required to get the job done. Make the decision to do this once and for all and permanently.No ifs ands or buts. Make that decision and then that ensuing IRONCLAD COMMITMENT and then there's no way that it can't happen.

Losing weight IS after all a doable thing. It's not some crazy hare-brained out of this world scheme. Anyone and every one CAN do it. Yourself included. Instead of telling yourself that you can't,tell yourself that you CAN. I mean, why the heck NOT you? I know this sounds cliche, but if I can do it, trust me ANY ONE really and truly can. You just must DECIDE to. Clearly define what it is you want in life and resolve to pay the price to get it. Your choices will become clearer. You will be able to work past the initial discomfort of a changing lifestyle.

And without a doubt set yourself up for success. Rid your home of the junk. Stock up on only healthy foods. Great, tasty, delicious healthy foods, no reason to go off plan when on plan is so good. And of course, plan, plan and then plan some more. Map out your food schedule in advance, knowing where each and every snack is coming from. Try journaling your food - you bite it, you write it. It's a great weight loss tool.

And I needed to make DEFINITE NO'S. I had to (at least initially) completely ban many food items. This way there was no way I can overeat them. I had trouble stopping at a moderate portion - my solution - don't start. Once you make them definite no's, well that's it. They don't creep into your day and derail it. It wasn't restrictive at all to me, but freeing. It was wonderful to not have these foods dictate my day and my life. There's no deprivation passing up on these foods. No, the deprivation is eating them and staying fat.

You don't like your body? Well then - change it. It's up to you. The choice is yours. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. It bears repeating - you don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be.

A popular quote, often used around here comes to mind:

Losing weight is hard, maintaining weight is hard, being fat is hard - choose your hard. And honestly, once you get into this, get these new and healthy habits in place, it's really not that hard - at all. This lifestyle is no burden or hardship. It's a joy and a pleasure. It's yours for the taking!

I honestly don't know.

A coworker asked me this when we sat down to lunch the other day. Something like ...."what was the most important thing to get you started again"

I don't know.

Maybe ... just keep trying? just keep starting? just keep thinking that this will be the day?

Ultimately, I think I had to change my attitude toward food. Food is not comfort, and food doesn't fix anything. Junk food may provide some kind of temporary self-medication, but it doesn't last. The calorie surplus ends up piling onto our bodies, a physical burden dragging us down wherever we go. It isn't worth it.

I had to decide that I didn't want to live that way anymore and choose to make concrete, measurable changes in my lifestyle - diet AND exercise. You have to make a plan, and decide to stick to the plan. And when you mess up sometimes (and we ALL do), just keep going. It will take time, and it will sometimes seem really hard. And other times seem not too bad. Maybe it will take 6 months, maybe a year, but ask yourself -- 6 months or a year from now do you want to be thinner or still be where you are now?

You CAN do this! You are stronger than chocolate cake.

I wanted to just add - which do you want MORE - to lose weight or to have a cookie/cake/some junk food. Personally, I want to lose weight more. I can have sweet things anytime I PLAN to do it. I'm in CONTROL here, and so are you.

I <3 RockinRobin's response. And it's a response like that that she gave me back in April that actually got my sh*t together. 30 lbs? Piece of low-fat cake! I've already lost that since April, so you DEFINITELY CAN. you just have to CHOOSE for it and then commit. Don't waste any more time feeling bad or sorry for yourself, show the world who is the boss here! You are! Not food!!

IMHO it takes an understanding that whatever changes I make must be for the very long term (forever is too scary.)
Another process I went thru is one of mourning. It pretty much sucked that I really needed to accept and emotionally approve of my choice to avoid cakes cookies pasta. The phrase "I choose not to" instead of "I can't" was HUGE in my process.

You can do it. My first post read exactly as your does. But it was in a 3fc blog. Someone commented that instead of feeling hungry all of the time one can eat lots and lots of healthy food to fill the tummy and avoid the desperate hunger. And I am not talking about only nonfat type stuff here. She referred me to her daily plate account as proof of this. I don't have an active one right now but I refer you to some of 3fc maintainers fitday accounts linked thru the sig.

You can do it! You must make a choice to. :)

Also, success begets success. The first steps seem really hard, but once you have achieved a meal or a day on plan, it gets easier cause you have proof that it is doable for you.

Try eating healthy for a week. Weigh yourself at the beginning of the week, and at the end of the week. As long as your honest with what you eat, you will lose weight. And it will show you that you can. Just try the one week.

:hug::hug:First when reading your post, I thought this isn't a person who's nasty. Its a person hurting and is reaching out for help & hugs.

So here's your hugs.:hug: :hug:
You sound like you're way way too hard on yourself. Sounds like the former me. I used to beat myself up about everything and that would send me spiraling for more food. left me feeling lonely and hating myself. It took me a long time to accept and love myself. I'm not perfect, never will be. Have I ever been rude or 'nasty' to someone? Sure. Hurt someone when I really didn't mean to? Yup. Did I feel bad later and try to do better next time? Absolutely. You need to be your own best friend READYORNOT! Not your worst enemy. You deserve love, happiness, joy, peace. You deserve to have a healthy body and to love yourself and be proud of yourself.

I see you live in Cold Lake... I used to live in St Paul AB and the winters are very long cold & dark. Maybe get a membership at your tanning salon? I know I suffered from winter blues due to lack of sun and the tanning salon helped. Not sure it works for everyone, just an idea. Ask yourself why do I reach for some comfort foods? Whats going on inside yourself that you go to food to make you feel better, then leaving you feel worse in the end and you beat yourself up for it? There was a term someone told me long ago, I believe it's based on some diet, not sure which one. But the term is HALT. NAME your reason for wanting unhealthy food. H = am I hungry? A = Am I angry? L= Am I lonely? T= Am I tired?

Its a tough long road to become a healthier you but its worth every bit of energy it takes to get there. So moral of my thoughts? Don't beat yourself up, love yourself, give yourself a break and start believing in you!

man, am I in the same boat as you, hun! It's hard. i know, I've been struggling with my willpower.

but as said before get your family involved. If it's important to you, then it should be important to them. :hug::hug:

Forgive me for snipping your comments a bit out of order.

Do you want it more than you want chocolate, ice cream, cookies, and cake? Ask yourself that question every time you are tempted by these things.


Being fat doesn't make you a nasty person.

I have started and fallen off the bandwagon before several times, because I am the same as you. I love chocolate and all comfort foods! I have decided though that it is time to do something really good for myself, so I am going to really try hard this time. I love homemade Banana cake with Cream cheese frosting, and had some bananas to use, but I threw them out this morning so I would not end up making the cake.

I have also not bought any junk food at the store, so it will not be here to tempt me right now. My husband is wonderfully supportive and says that we should all eat healthier and we don't need that stuff around anyway, so that is a big help.

Also, don't forget to do something just for yourself sometimes. It is important to keep your spirits up to stay on track. For example, I got myself a new hair cut and color, and my nails done, so I feel better about myself. Also, as you lose, get rid of the clothes you have outgrown and concentrate on the smaller clothes that you can now fit back into. It is too easy to be depressed and feel nothing is working if nothing else changes during the process. Losing weight is a slow process and it is easy to get discouraged if that is all you concentrate on.

Look toward the future and envision yourself in your new body! Do this daily!

There is already some great advice on here, so I just wanted to say that I have known some staggeringly beautiful 5'6", 170lb women, and not in the "you have such a pretty face if only you lost weight" way. These women had rockin bodies. Everyone's journey is personal, and what one woman considers healthy and attractive another woman might feel is too heavy, but I bet you have a much better body than you give yourself credit for, and it's easier to make this journey successfully if you start at a place of loving yourself no matter what.

Thank you all for the wonderful advice... I think the best thing for me to remember coming from all this advice is "I choose NOT to have that", instead of "I cant have that"

I would much rather be slimmer and happy then have the cake and cookies...

My husband has tried many times to help me... he knows how much I want to lose weight for ME... but then I go and try and buy something.. he says no, then I give him sad eyes or yell at him saying he doesnt want me to be fat so he says get it... Its HORRIBLE! I know he loves me the way I am and he is ONLY helping me because I have asked him to.. but then I turn it around on him....

We do have alot of healthy foods in the house, but we also have bad foods.... when I am hungry, or bored and wantign to eat I easily turn to the bad foods... we just dont have enough healthy foods here...

I know at 170 lbs I am not this disgusting huge creature.. but thats the way I feel.... in 2003 I was 210... and when I look at pictures of myself I am horrified.... I just want to look at myself and see a beautiful slim face and not see 5 rolls on my back and 2 huge rolls on my stomach...

I want my daughter to be proud of me, not embarassed because she has the only fat mommy (she isnt in school yet,but when she is).

Your posts have helped me CHOOSE NOT to have pancakes this morning.. we will have granola instead....

Oh yes. We must always remember that this is a choice. Not that I can't eat xyz, but that I won't. I choose better. I hold myself up to a higher standard. I no longer settle for second best. I require more from myself and therefore the foods that I eat which directly relate to my health and my well being.

So yes, it sounds like you're feeling better about things. Good. I'm glad.

But, I gotta caution you here, granola can be just as caloric as pancakes. If not more so, depending on how much you eat of it and really one serving isn't all that large. It is loaded with fat and sugar. Deceiving, right?

Really the only way to know for sure that you're creating that all important calorie DEFICIT is to indeed COUNT your calories. It can be a very eye-opening experience. It'll take time till you get it all down pat, but think of it as a learning experience. Educate yourself . Look forward to this. It's a time of personal growth and betterment. For you and your family.

Another thing you can do for yourself is to not deny yourself completely, but be very careful. When I lost weight before I allowed myself small treats everyday. By this I mean I would let myself have two or three Hershey's kisses - but only two or three. I would do this in the evening after the kids were in bed because that was the time I wanted to snack. It was my downfall time. This allowed me to have me treat, conquer the cravings, and not feel like I was depriving myself completely.

Also, as I said before, you cannot underestimate the importance of doing things for yourself. If you are always concentrating on the negatives, you will miss all the positives. Do you have any interests or hobbies? Indulge in those instead of food. Go for a walk with your husband, go to a movie with friends. Take your kids to the park. Also, this time of year, start planning your holidays out, it will keep you busy and give you something happy to look forward to.

Wow! Even qiuck cooking oats cooked in water then 2tsp of brown sugar and 1/2 cup 1% milk is that bad?


What in the world is healthy for breakfast?

Quick cooking oats is not bad for you to eat for breakfast. I think Robin may have been talking about the ready-made granola that you find in stores, that already have sugar/honey, nuts, etc. added to it. Plain oats from the box (and prepared as you mentioned) is a very healthy breakfast! :)

Ready or not, yeah, granola isn't so great for you. I mean, it is healthy for you, because it typically has nuts and whole grains, but there is a lot of sugar in there, too, and it tends to be highly caloric.

I found something that is craveable and filling that is perfect for breakfast - take an Ezekiel English Muffin, spread two wedges of laughing cow cheese and two tablespoons of pumpkin butter. Yummy, and less than 300 calories.

Or how about french toast made with Ezekiel bread and egg whites, with a bit of low sugar preserves?

There are lots of things that you can eat that aren't pancakes or granola. I would suggest going over to the food section of this site and get some ideas.

Good luck!

Yes, exactly. I thought you meant like boxed Granola.

Here's a link from thedailyplate.com
http://www.thedailyplate.com/nutriti...eneric/granola

It puts it at 598 calories per cup. Of course they all vary, which is why it's best to ALWAYS read the label. ALWAYS. On whatever it is. Don't assume just because something's "healthy" that it's low calorie and in fact, all that "healthy". Read. Become aware. It takes some time for. But you will learn and your food choices will evolve.

I definitely need food ideas! I'm still fairly new to the site. Where do I go to see the food section?

Just wondering... Do you have health coverage? Because many (most) plans cover the cost of a nutritionist. She/he may be able to guide you further and get you going on the right track. Great for accountability as well...

Oh thanks! I will check out that link when I'm not on my mobile!

What do you all go by? Calories? Fat? Sugar? Carbs?

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/food...lous-finds-17/

Not sure if that link would work, but look under Food Talk and Fabulous Finds in the forum section.

I do a combination of:

Whole foods (which limits sugar)
Calorie counting (which tends to limit carbs as well - since 200 calories of rice/pasta is SMALL)
Volumetrics (big portions of low cal foods to fill up)

I only worry about fat to make sure I'm eating enough healthy fat.

I do have health coverage. In Ontario when I was 15 I went to a dietitian.

Now I think in a tiny albertian town. They would probably send me to Edmonton which is a 3hr drive.

My coverage is through my husband. He is military and they don't make it easy to find out what you are covered for

I have almost completely cut out refined sugar, bread, artificial sweeteners, diet soda and high calorie foods and those foods that trigger binges. However, there are days when I fall off track and go wild and crazy on binges, but I haven't done that since about November 3rd. I try to take it one day at a time.

What will it take? Until you love your body just the way it is, it won't happen. We have to love ourselves to be our care first.

Thanks for posting this and encouraging all the responses. I am having the same challenges right now. Sabaotaging myself at every opportunity.

I don't have any bad food in the house - at all. But I live downtown and very close to places that do. No matter how hard I try, I choose not to find the willpower. I know I can't say 'can't' because I lost 70 pounds before.

I almost think that I have to eliminate any type of foods that trigger things - diet soda, a bite of chocolate, whatever it is. Just learn to live without them until I get myself under control? I know everyone is different.

I was very successful with a trainer before...but I can't really afford one now. I just need that support. I get a lot on here, but I need something, someone to validate how I look and how hard I work....it's quite strange.

This wasn't necessarily the case *with me*. I strongly disagree with this statement.

I didn't love my body the way it was. I didn't love what I did to it. I had let it go. I didn't take care of it. I was enormous, misshapen and full of aches and pains. I most certainly did not love my body. Nope. BUT - that didn't mean that I didn't love MYSELF. I WAS able to separate the two. For me loving my body the way that it was, no - just not possible. No way. No how. For me telling myself that I loved my body just the way it was, was giving myself permission to stay that way. As if it was good enough the way it was. And it wasn't. I wasn't doing right by it or me. I wasn't giving it or me the respect that it so rightly deserved.

Although I will mention that I am grateful beyond belief that it (my body) didn't let me down and was able to function with all that I put upon it. And I was/am grateful for how forgiving it was/is that I was able to reverse much of the damage that I laid upon it.

Rockinrobin,

You say your body was able to reverse a lot of the damage. Does that mean saggy excess skin?


I'm so worried that if I am able to lose the weight my skin will be nasty. So then whaya the point?

I have some saggy skin. I started at 35 and close to 200 lbs. I have saggy skin in my armpits, thighs and belly. My boobs sag.

Would I trade my size 6, looks gorgeous in clothes and pretty fab near naked with a sexy push up bra for my fat 200 lb body?

That would be a no.

I meant that the weight was indeed able to come off of me. That I was able to get rid of the excess fat. That I was able to hopefully stave off obesity related cancers, heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, gout, diabetes and a slew of other totally avoidable horrible conditions and diseases.

What's the point you ask if you have excess skin??? Oh I don't know. Does excess skin cause any of those horrible diseases and conditions I just mentioned? Does it cause my joints to ache. Of course not. That's the point. Gaining back my health. My life.

I've got plenty of excess skin and I don't consider it all that *nasty*. Like Glory, it's completely undetectable in clothing. That would be my XS and sized 4 clothing. I feel marvelous, sexy, energetic, self confident, self reliant, fit, trim and healthy. THAT is the point.

And like Meg always says, if you're that unhappy with the results - you can always gain it back. ;)

Way better to have some excess skin then to have excess FAT.

I shouldn't have said what's the point. I realize the point no matter what.

I couldn't imagine being a size 4 wow!

I've done horrible today but I hope once we get groceries this weekend I can really start eating better!