A little vent...all the horrible, awkward, embarrassing things I hate
 

Hello, to all you beautiful fat chicks out there. I'm new to this and so I hope I don't offend anyone with this thread. If so, I apologise in advance! ;)

This forum is so supportive and warm and caring, and we're all here for each other (at least that's my impression after a couple of days with you all). And it occurred to me that this might be the perfect place to vent some of the horrible, awkward, embarrassing things about being a fat chick - you know, the things we don't talk about out loud, that cause us to laugh in a self deprecating way, or blush, or pretend we didn't notice - when really, we want to curl up and die. Maybe some of you can relate....if you can, drop me a line and share some of yours.

• Restaurants with small, flimsy chairs (even if they're not really small and flimsy, but they seem that way to me)
• Restaurants with booths that are just too small, and where the tables are fixed to the walls so my husband can't discreetly move it for me.
• Being at the doctors and her having to get out the 'big' blood pressure cuff.
  • Same doctors assumption that every possible thing wrong with me would be fixed if I lost a pile of weight.
  • Always being automatically given the front seat when I go out with friends, because I'm so big (I know they mean well, I just hate that they have to do that)
  • Always being way too hot, and sweaty
  • Having the smallest thing make me sweat like crazy....housework, laundry, whatever.
  • Having that same sweat running down my back so that I end up with a wet looking butt.
  • Constantly having to think about what I'm wearing to avoid the wet butt look - thank god for Skorts
  • Suddenly not being able to fit in to shoes that always fit before.
  • Getting breathless walking in to my office - so I avoid walking in with people.
  • Knees that hurt when I stand up or go upstairs.
  • Diarhhea and constipation - but that might be an IBS thing, if so, sorry - wrong board! :)
  • Having a nice, sensible salad with my friends at lunch and knowing I'm going to be starving again in an hour.
  • The thought that I'll never be able to eat 'fun' stuff again. :(
    Oh and airline seatbelts that need the 'extra' bit

I think I've exhausted my rant for now.... I'm sure I'll think of some more, which I'll be thrilled to bore you with.

Again, I hope I've not offended anyone....if you have any of your own, 'fun' stuff to share, please feel free.

And thanks for the warm welcome. :)

i hate the way my pants always wear out fast from the thighs rubbing together. its getting better, but its still annoying to have a perfectly fine 2 month old pair of pants where the inner thighs are all worn.

i also hate the way my friends react when i order a "sensible salad", i see all the eyes meeting and then someone has to say something like, "oh are you on a diet?"... i guess since im fat im not allowed to like salad?

HAHAHA that cracked me up!! I have the SAME problem I hate that my pants get worn out in between the thinghs and if its cotton pants they "ball up" and then eventually start to rip!

I hate that when I'm exiting my sons hallway at school that I cant squeeze between people to get out...well sometimes I think I can, but end up bumping them...OOPS!

I hate that I can't eat something in my car without the next car looking at me like a pig, even if it's a granola bar or something healthy! Geez at least it's not mcdonalds!!

I really hate to admit this one....But the sex life....I get tired SO fast....I hate it!!!!!!!! LOL....I feel embarrassed now!!

Man I hear you on the pants thing. I was down to ONE pair of pants that didn't have a hole in the thighs. I had to go shopping today for pants (which i abhor :mad:) because I start a new job next week.

I hate that my knees and feet hurt just from walking around.

I think you all have hit the nail on the head!

For the sex life I'd like to add the out of breath feeling, and not in a good way! Or not being able to do certain things without leaving my husband out of breath, again, not in the good way!

How about the dark spots on my skin? Like on the back of my neck, spots on my face, under my arms and on the inners of my thighs?

Or how about jeans? There are some CUTE jeans out there, like low rise jeans, that if a fat girl even tried to wear, EVERYTHING would be hanging out in a second?

Orrrrrrr how about having such thick calves that they don't fit into knee high boots...

HAHAHAHAHHAHA! That made me laugh, I hate eating in my car. No matter how far out I park it always seems someone will pull up next to me to sit in their car and glance at me!

Me and my husband use to eat in the car a lot before we change our eating habits (fast-food) so it was worse then but now it's never anything bad but I still always get someone looking at me! Drives me nuts!

at my heaviest I remember being exhausted all the time and ravenously hungry. Nothing I ever ate filled me up. I needed food to get through my commute. I needed food to entertain me. I just relied on food for so many things. Sex was also definitely a problem, walking uo the stairs made me huff and puff :(

You guys ROCK! Thank you SO much for joining my rant!

I did think of the boots not being wide enough after I'd posted, but I'd forgotten about the pants! Which made me remember the times your shorts get hitched up and you know they're bunching and you just have to 'adjust' as you get out of the car and hope no-one notices.

And YAY for mentioning the sex - if we can't 'fess to each other, then who can we??

And the eating in the car - so get that! I find myself wanting to put the window down and say, "It's high fibre, low fat - AND a diet coke, so I'm already suffering - you can't make it worse!".

I have to agree with everyone about the pants problem; it is so annoying! Why did I think that I was the only one that happened to?

Cheers,

J

ok im SOOOO glad im not alone in the pants problem, lol. when i posted that i was thinking, are they going to know what im talking about? def the worst with cotton, you get fuzz balls all over.

i wouldnt be caught dead eating in my car, OR jogging down the street in daylight. oh and shorts just became a straight up no-no for me. how about when you're sitting in a chair and your shirt keeps creeping up over your gut. ugh, the many horrors of being fat.

That's why I wanted to post this - I was so sure that there are things we all suffer in silence that only another FC could understand.

Thanks, again, to all of you for posting responses - for a minute there I thought I was the only one! :)

Just remember all of these things you want to make easier in your life to keep you motivated to stay on plan and how good it'll feel to have the freedom to not worry about these things anymore

This.

And this.

And, oh lord, this. I hate the sweating thing too, but mine is always my sweat running down my forehead and neck. One time my fiance handed me a piece of towel paper when we were out and said "Here, I think you need this". I hadn't even realized how the sweat was rolling down my chest.. Talk about embarrassing. :(

Comparing myself to other women is a biggie for me. ALWAYS being the larger and less glamorous one. Always feeling so inferior.

That`s now improving, which I`m very grateful for. I`m aware that people react differently to m e now but I cannot quite work out yet whether this has to do with my weight or maybe "just" my attitude.

I hate being bigger than my husband. I hate sitting next to him and my thighs spread all over the place. I hate that when we're standing he's taller than me but when we're sitting I'm taller than him because of all the extra padding on my bottom.

I hate that! I notice it when i'm at church, sitting down next to people. Have any of you done that leg test? You know, where you sneakily compare your leg to the persons next to yours? haha. my legs can sometimes be the same size as some other girl's, but my legs are higher up because of my ginormous butt! :(

Same here! I`m no longer heavier, but I`m still bigger - although no longer obviously so. That`s been a biggie for me, too!

Oh the pants thing! I avoided ever buying corduroy pants at my heaviest for fear that I'd set them on fire with all the thigh rubbing! :lol: Plus, they were so noisy!!! ;)

At my heaviest I hated wearing shorts--they would ride up constantly and I was forever adjusting them! Capris were my best friend!

And skirts? Never! My thighs would get so sweaty and chaffed from rubbing together--OUCH!!

Huffing and puffing up the stairs, avoiding them like the plague.
Feeling tired all the time.
Being miserable in any kind of heat.
Never having nice clothes to wear and the panic attacks that would ensue if there was a function I had to attend that required nice clothes.
Painful knees/ankles/feet.

that IS a biggie...I notice it when I'm driving...if my husband or son drive my car (very rarely, on pain of death) I realise how much further back I have to sit. My legs are longer than my husband's, but it's mostly the fat on my butt.

And the comment about sweating on the face, I get that, too - mine's up under my hair line. I always wonder if I'm in the bank is someone going to think I'm robbing it because I'm sweating so I must be freaking out! :o

I sweat SO MUCH under my arms and (when I'm walking around the house without a bra) under my boobs. It like drips down my chest and my sides..and it feels SO GROSS. If I don't shower every morning I'll be walking around smelling like BO because I think the WORST is sweating when I sleep. I wake up and it's like...wet between my thighs and under my arms and boobs and it's been dripping on the sheets so they're all wet too. It's SO disgusting and I hate it. =/

Oh, and the pants thing....I go through pants WAY too fast because my thighs rub together too much...I REFUSE to ever wear a skirt because if I do it becomes painful. I don't even wear shorts anymore because they're never long enough to stop the skin from rubbing together, so it's always painful. I'll wear bermuda shorts, but nothing shorter...

Oh, and also with shorts, if you buy the cute ones or whatever, you sit down and the i guess cuff around the leg hole or whatever cuts into your leg so your fat like bulges up in front of it...idk if that makes sense to anyone, but I always hated that.


I think the thing I hate the most though is I'm not comfortable buying cute underwear anymore. I've got that pooch/roll/whatever right below my stomach fat roll, so the underwear never fit right or look good....so the ones that I have I'll still wear, but my boyfriend won't EVER get to see them till I feel they look good on me...haha.

I'm surprised no one mentioned this....swimsuits! I HATE that they never sell a swimsuit some place like walmart or target that is cute that will fit me that has enough coverage for me to be comfortable but doesn't look like something my grandmother would wear. I always end up buying whatever I can get to fit and then just wearing a t-shirt and shorts over it while I swim, even though that makes it super uncomfortable to swim....I mean come on, they know that there are plus sized teenagers...and that grandmas aren't the only fat people in the world, so why cant they make us some cute swimsuits! lol.

I know what you mean on the shorts making the fat bulge (not to mention the way your legs stick to the seat, and the way you end up with a 'damp spot' on any vinyl seat when you stand up). Try skorts - at least if the short bit rides up or whatever, the skirt bit hides it.

And the underwear is a nightmare - I mean, I'm sure even grannies don't want to wear granny underwear all the time! Why can't they make bras and undies in some attractive fabric, with lace or whatever.

On the swimsuits, good call. Swimming is about the only exercise I enjoy and it's tough. We lived for a short time in Hawaii while my husband worked there and I got some really nice suits there - practical and comfortable but nice, too. So there you go - you just need to tell your boyfriend you need a vacation to Hawaii! ;)

I hate it when I turn six shades of purple trying to shave my legs.
I hate it when I have to ask my husband to clip my toe nails:(
I hate dropping my pen in the supermarket beacuse bending over to retrieve it makes my face red. I hate riding in my husbands car because I have to put it on to ride in it :o oh and tieing my sneekers geesh thats a major effort.
most of all I hate it when I am invisible to other people around me and they do it on purpose:(
but I love the fact that I am brave enough to do something about it and I know all these naturally skinny people could never know the burden of being fat if they did they would realize just how strong willed us fatty's are and we deserve respect for our efforts:)
I love the fact that my husband still loves me he married a 108 pounder and ended up with a 257 pounder I guess that makes me more than a double pounder with extra cheese LoL
I love that there is a place for all of us fatty's to share our failures and our success's and look on the bright side if there is ever a food shortage us fatty's will way out live our naturally skinny friends I could go months without food and still have a weight problem.:D

OH - I love everything about this post! I'm so happy now that I know I'll outlive my skinny friends when the food runs out! I am fat - hear me roar! :D

This thread depresses me.

I certainly understand some of what's been talked about, tho.

I remember looking in the mirror when I was wearing something I thought I looked cute (read: not fat) in and I looked HUGE!

I am very familiar with knee pain and I thank God that my knees are carrying around over 50 fewer pounds and the pain is all but gone.

I am extremely grateful each and every time someone tells me I look great because, honestly, sometimes it's difficult to see (I still don't understand how my shadow looks so skinny in my avatar)...

I know what it's like to feel uncomfortable when going into stores (with friends) that don't carry your size. I also know the discomfort of going into the same stores once you are finally (after 10 years) able to fit their clothes. It's almost like they can tell that you used to be too big to fit anything.

Having said that, I LOVE that I can walk into any store now without feeling like a faker or a fraud. God is good indeed!

I never want to forget any of these feelings.

^this^

or id see something online and order it and then when it arrives its such a tent that it looks nothing like the picture i saw.

I hate thinking I looked really hot and then seeing pictures later and seeing how fat I looked.

I hope that all of you posters go over to the other post, which is full of good things about yourself, things that are positive, to balance out all these negative things. :) Breaks my heart that the posts that are hard on us get more responses than the positive ones.

But kudos for venting about the things that most people never say out loud. If you can get up the courage to say those things, then it should be easier to accept positive things about yourself too?

Best of luck today!

This thread has made me feel so much better! I realise their are other people out their who feel the same.

I hate having to buy new pants, and all my jeans got these dreaded thigh holes within the same week, I had to buy all new pants, and hem them cus I'm short.

I hate this a lot. Apparently pants for someone that's the width that I am have to be about 6 inches longer than my legs. Like because my waist is that size I must be a giant.

When will they make fashionable boots for bigger girls?! Something adjustable. I can't get my calves in them, let alone shove my jeans in their too.

With my legs next to my boyfriends, he's got these little skinny long legs and I've got these chubby short ones, I feel so huge next to him.

Sweating is another thing, I powerwalk whenever I am walking, especially through the mall to my workplace, and by the time I get to the elevator, I'm sweating, and it has these hot lights that shine down on me. I feel like I'm under interrogation.

Seats on the bus, I feel like they are getting smaller and smaller, I sit on it, and if someone sits next to me, they're always squished up against me.

Thanks for your rants, I feel like there are so many more with the same feelings as me. :) Here's a pic of my legs in between my boyfriends and his best friends, Dylan is on the left holding the phone pointing at something.
Edit:Whoops, had to remove, looks like he was pointing with his middle finger, don't want anyone to get offended :)

I feel the same way.

we all have to except the good with the bad about ourselves. I think if we lose site of where we once were we may lose track of where we want to strive for in our own futures. a tell all post like this one helps to let each of us know we are not alone in our daily struggles with weight and its not so pleasant side effects......I say we need to form a fat chicks convention once a year throw a BIG A$$ party( no pun intended) and cut loose!:carrot:

Thank you all so much for your responses. I really didn't mean it to be a negative thing at all, and I'm sorry some felt depressed by it. I meant it to be, as Whip says, a way to realise that we're not alone - we all suffer these inconveniences and embarrassments. I thought maybe we could all laugh at the little oddities - in a way that's not self deprecating and embarrassed.

Remember - it sucks, but we're moving on up, moving on out. And we're not alone on the journey. :carrot:

yeah i didnt find this thread depressing at all. it makes me feel better to know im not the only one who deals with these secret embarrassments and to be able to share them with a group of peers who know what im talking about.

i actually laughed a LOT reading these.

OK...I don't think I saw any mention of what I call "side meat" (I know, sounds gross!).

I HATE it that I can't seem to find a bra that fits on the sides, under the arms...KWIM? I can find the cup size all day, but the width of the band is what I'm talking about.

And who in the ~~~~ decided that EVERYONE can get away with an empire waist??? All I seem to see anymore in the shops are empire waists. Just call ALL of the attention to my spare tire, OK???

Sheesh!

ETA

Another thing about bras...why, oh why, in this universe or any other, does a DD bra exist with only slightly wider straps than a shoestring?????????????

A, B, or C cup, yes. maaaaaaaaybe even a D cup, but a DD????? If I wanted to slice my shoulders open, I'd use a ~~~~ knife!

S

Aw, I agree with all of these! I'm REALLY embarrassed about sweating. Especially because it has been so hot here. I always look so flustered when I'm out running errands. I feel really embarrassed when I go up to the cash register after shopping... and I'm sweating badly. :(

Count me in on the dark spots on the skin! And I HATE the droopy tummy. I am too young for a droopy tummy! It makes wearing cute underwear so tough.

Thanks, again for the responses....so good to know I'm not alone.

Thought of another - never being able to leave the house without a bra. I'm sitting here (watching the Leafs get hammered by the Penguins) and I need to run to the store - which means I have to put on a bra. I remember being slim and trim enough that I could get away without one just for the odd little things...I miss that.

Oh yeah - these are some great ones!!!

My most unfavorite ones is squeezing into an airplane seat - don't need the larger belt but to know my butt is in the next person's seat is never fun!

Eating in front of anyone - anywhere...even something healthy - people look and it's like - what the **** - just cause I'm fat doesn't mean I can't eat anything!!

Trying to find a button up shirt when you have big boobs...well for that matter - anything with buttons!!

Oh and the pants....oh and the pants!!!

OMG, I was just thinking about this the other day when we were at dinner....we had an added bonus of a mirror next to us. I kept glancing over and thinking why do I seem taller than him when Im a bit shorter than him in the first place?
Suprise suprise....its my big butt cause it. I can relate with the thighs too.
I just keep telling myself the fat will be gone soon...lol


Another thing for me is going to sixflags and them having to use this block for all the "large guests" to measure the gap between the lap bar and the car to make sure you actually fit in the seat enough. Or ya know...when they spend what seems to be 2 mins pushing your over the head thing down to squeeze you in there.

I have been wearing my husbands jeans that are too big for him because my jeans are too small for me! There I've said it. Thanks for giving me a space to tell my secret.

I agree with so many of these! Eating in the car, even if it is celery, seeing pictures of myself after thinking I look ok, trying to find something to wear to an event, and the biggest for me is actually wondering if I'm going to fit places lol, like at amusement parks and things like that!!! Trying to put the seatbelt on when I went to a carnival in town this summer was SOOO humiliating!!