OP, it does sound a bit crappy, and I think I'd feel jealous if I was in your shoes too. It feels a little bit like this person was able to pay to have the thing you so desperately want just handed to her, yeah? And despite the fact that you want it so much, there's no way to get it the quick way, the way your friend did.

It may be slower, it may be a long haul and it may be bloody hard work, but think how great you'll feel when you get to goal, knowing you didn't pay all the money for it, knowing that you learned so much about yourself along the way. It'll feel great, and who knows, maybe your friend, with her quick 95lb loss may have bad excess skin and troubling keeping the weight off, problems which you, as a slower loser, may find yourself dealing with less.

Celebrate your 40lb loss, it's fantastic progress so far.

think of this as a chance to do something for yourself -- you can do this - it has been done by so many before and you can succeed too. WLS isn't a perfect solution to weight loss. it is the possible cause of a lifetime of health complications. we are all in the same boat - just take it 1 step at a time. think of it like this - if you commit for one year to reach your goal you will be just as trim as your friend. so what if it took you an extra year - you still got to the same place.

im just going to be totally honest and admit im jealous of everyone all the time. i hate being fat. :(

I don't get jealous of women that have better figures than me. The women I know that have better bodies definitely work harder at it than I do. They spend time at a gym, have a trainer, run marathons, eat cleaner than I do, etc. They deserve their better bodies--they have worked for it and earned all it entails.

I started my journey in May '08. It has been a long road of making consistent better choices in literally everything I do--from the time I am going to bed, to not eating out, to eating whole foods, to cooking and cleaning my kitchen several times daily, giving up alcohol almost totally, shopping differently, reallocating funds to include the things I must have healthwise, and the list goes on.

Put your energy in what you are doing about YOUR issue. There will always be someone more fit, rich, pretty, etc. than you are. Look into your heart and feel true happiness for your friend. When you clear those cobwebs, you will find more happiness coming your way too.

Haha, I so feel you on this one. I go to the mall and see all these young (and I'm not THAT old at 25 almost 26) thin girls and I feel so jealous. And I'm not picky about what I'm jealous of ether, I see people with peaches and cream skin (I have NEVER had that) and I'm jealous. People with new cars, nice houses, CONFIDENCE . . so jealous. Even just people I know who aren't rich but have less coming out and can spend more . . jealous. I look at myself and try to find things that others might be jealous of but gosh, I couldn't imagine any.

Jealousy sucks, I've fought with it all my life and it's something I'm trying to work on but I think everyone feels it now and then. You've done awesome! 40 pounds is nothing to sneer at, and like so many have said here already, you'll feel so much better doing it the natural way. :hug:

LOLOL. im only usually jealous of the thin girls, or even the normal girls. jealousy can just be overwhelming, but luckily once i lose all the weight i will *hopefully* be over my jealousy issues. im sure there are PLENTY of things that other girls are jealous of you for. at about 200lbs my teeny tiny 4'10 and 85 lb friend was over and was like, "god i wish i had your legs, you're so tall and your legs always look good". another time i was envying a girls skin and my other friend said, "whatever, i would kill to be as pale as you, your skin looks so pretty like porcelain".

we tend to only see the bad things in ourselves, and emphasize and exaggerate them in our minds. everyone has good qualities, and ever since those 2 things were pointed out to me, i celebrate them. you need to find yours!!

julia..you are so very, very right!

Things other people would envy me about:

* I have never had a cavity
* I got a gorgeous gorgeous engagement ring
* My cat Diego is so cute, he's a Siamese mix with big blue eyes and big white paws
* I have slender ankles and pretty hands
* I have cute earlobes (seriously, I have adorable ears)

:hug: As others have said, being single is not related to the size or shape of the person. In fact, I wouldn't want to marry a man that would only date or be interested in someone of a certain size.

Confidence is much more the issue. And, honestly - confidence helps a lot with weight loss too. If you feel good about yourself, if you enjoy life NOW, you will likely find that sticking to your lifestyle change is easier. And, you will most likely be successful.

Many, many chickies (myself included) have lost a boatload of weight without surgery, pills, or shortcuts. Eat less - eat clean - move more. It really does work!

So, use those feelings to recommit, refocus, and PLAN your way to success.

Jealousy is never productive, often destructive, and beneath you. Acknowledge and celebrate your strengths and realize that we ALL have different gifts and graces.

You absolutely CAN lose the weight - and the only thing keeping you from that goal - is YOU!

:cheer: Get moving, girl - and keep us posted on your progress!

Huntress, think of it this way. You don't even qualify for WLS. You would never even be considered for it, you don't weigh enough. Especially since you've lost 40lbs on your own, a doctor would just look at you and tell you to get out of here because you have PROVEN you can do it the healthy way. Even a doctor would tell you that WLS is not a good option for anyone unless they were past the point of no return!

I like this! If it's not considered seriously veering off topic, I'm going to chime in with things I think other people would envy about me:

- I have smooth skin. I rarely got acne as a teen and even then it was limited to under my nostrils (easy to hide)
- I look younger than I am (or so I'm told)
- I have just the right mix between wavy and curly hair so that it naturally looks like I've used a curling iron for hours, but I haven't. ;)
- I make friends really easily. Social gatherings have never been a problem.

I know how you feel. I have a friend who also had the WLS and has lost alot as well. I am in the beginning stages of my weight loss but i just try and keep myself motivated. I am so envious of everyone who has lost on here. I'm only down 15 lbs but its only the beginning. I can't wait til I go back home next summer and I'll be a totally different person.

^^^That would make a great thread on it's own :)


OP we all have things we'd like to change about ourselves, you've done so well to lose those pounds :hug: Your friend probably has issues that she hasn't shared with you.

We are the best we can be at this moment, cherish yourself. :cool:

OMG, I was crying earlier today feeling sorry for myself and now I'm crying again but this time it's because of all you wonderful people who have supported me without even knowing me. I have "lurked" on these boards for years but only recently started posting again.

Thank you all so much for the kind words of encouragement at a time when I was feeling so down.

Lajuna

Lajuna :hug::hug: for you