Being talked down by someone
 

*sigh* does anyone ever faced this?
It just seemed to be that everyone in my house was like this, "want to get fitter? THEN SPORTS EXERCISE FITNESS" in a various degree, and all their words have a "and therefore, your attempt is USELESS."-like addition behind. I DO sports too, just not in the way a bodybuilder would.

I just had a talk with my brother this noon about how, baked chicken katsu is definitely healthier (in the diet sense) than fried food because lack of oil when he went on a talk about how you should just do sports if you want to get fitter and that calorie counting and watching one's intake is not important if there's no sport.

Thanks for the information, but watching one's intake is just as important! D:

And logic flaws aside, he's not even fit!

Sorry for the ranting but....I just feel annoyed, because if I keep up on them, I'll soon get down and/or seeking fast shortcuts, while dieting needs to be stable, gradual process, doesn't it? >_>

A healthy "diet" meaning the way you eat everyday is the first step. Eating lean meats fruits and veggies drinking water is all very important. Its very self defeating to go work your *** off in a sport then go eat a huge pizza you have done nothing there. If you eat healthy and workout it will make the weight drop. They go hand and hand working out and eating right. No offense but he sounds very misguided and uninformed don't listen to him.

my personal opinion is that the food we put in our mouths is more important than the exercise we're doing. I think that losing weight is around 65% diet and 35% exercise. (that's just my own theory though).

I agree, it's a combination of both and if we are overweight it's caused by both over eating and not moving (most of the time, yes there are different medical conditions and so forth but for the majority of us...)

I love this article in Time Magazine:
Why exercise won’t make you thin.
http://www.time.com/time/health/arti...914857,00.html

Sarah in MD

Everyone has an opinion, and they love sharing it! How annoying! He'll see that what you're doing is working, and that he's wrong eventually. And he is wrong.

Think about it-if I don't work out one day, I can't really tell on the scale the next morning. But when I eat fried chicken (even in moderation) I can tell from the water weight. Although working out is important, and you have to do it most of the time, the food is waaaaay more important. He thinks you can have fried chicken on a regular basis and be healthy? And besides, the type of workout doesn't really matter all the much, as long as you're moving and raising your heart rate.

I've had people tell me that I have to run instead of walking, but I've lost weight by walking (and watching what I eat, of course!), so they're obviously wrong!

Do your research, understand all the issues, and take comfort in your knowledge. Everyone thinks they are allowed to have an opinion about weight loss, even when they've done no research and are just spewing what they've heard from someone, news, etc. Those opnions should just be ignored. You know why you are doing what you are doing. You know that it works. You know it's based on good science.

I don't discuss or give weight loss advice unless someone asks me specifically. If someone tries to give me advice, I just smile, thank them for the advice and just go on my way.

I literally had this same argument with my sister like 2 weeks ago! She was saying I should eat whatever I want and just workout, workout, workout...

I tried to explain to her that, while I agree activity is important, I feel it is vital to be feeding my body what it needs... healthy, balanced meals filled with nutrient dense foods.

You're not alone... and your effort is not wasted. Keep up the great work!

sarahyu, I read that article, too, and it made me feel so much better! For a long time I was going to the gym 4-5x per week, but not really restricting my calories, and I wasn't losing ANYTHING! So I agree that it's important to do BOTH.

I had an appointment with a personal trainer who told me that everything I was eating was wrong (I really don't eat unhealthy foods, I just have a problem controlling portions), but the things he was suggesting were unrealistic for my lifestyle. The way he was talking to me made me feel like I knew nothing. Needless to say, I elected not to purchase training sessions with that trainer!

You know, there's room for a lot of variety in beliefs and approaches. It can be great to discuss other points of view. But he is so far off the mark that it's not even worth giving any second thought to. Seriously. Just smile, say OK, and walk away, change the subject, or just keep smiling and saying OK.

UGH, isnt that the truth. no matter how successful you've been, seems like almost everyone (whether theyre fat, thin, fit, or have never successfully lost weight in their lives) wants to tell you about what you're doing wrong. everyone has their "2 cents" so to speak, and its almost like they cant stand NOT saying it. just ignore them. no matter what plan you're on someone will be telling you to do this or that. :hug:

I say, always consider the source. I can also say that absolutely 100% diet has much, much more to do with obtaining and sustaining a healthy weight. Sure, exercise is good for overall health and has numerous benefits and does burn calories. But, one piece of chocolate cake (average one pc. serving) is 500 calories. That would take me more than one hour of running to get rid of.

Thanks for all the wonderful support! And the article is really good and makes sense, I just read it xD

Yeah, I know everyone are entitled to their freedom of speech and all, but they sometimes just didn't know where to stop or whether their speech are hurting people. I know, I'm learning.

It's such a supportive thing seeing people having this kind of trouble too, and being able to go through that makes me even more excited!
I did got used to cope with that, and it's successfully stopped my diet, or forced me to find quick shortcuts, which ended up burning me out, so having the supports really help for fighting. :)

You are very correct, and so is he (a little bit).

Dieting is useless, you need to plan your meal for the rest of your life, not just a little while. Get in the habit of eating helathier food, even if it takes a gradual process to get used to it. This is the first step in losing weight: Eating less calories than your body needs, and making sure that most of those calories are from carbs and not fat.

"Calorie counting" is useless unless you eat an very excessive amount of calories a day, like 3600+. Instead, I count cholesterol, sodium content, and saturated fat--just look at the labels when you go shopping :)

I'd also like to point out that women don't get bulky like men when they do weight training, they don't have enough androgen (male hormones). Their muscles get smaller and firmer, in turn make your body look smaller and more sculpted. So if this is the reason you don't do it, there's no harm in trying :)

I would suggest not talking to people about nutrition, unless they are supportive and you can have a neutral conversation about it. If you sense that someone is telling you that "you're wrong" then end the conversation. Your fitness and nutrition are nobody's business and it should stay between you and the your scale.

I'm no expert but I feel good when I exercise. And I feel good when I eat right. I don't need anyone's permission to do what feels good to me.

You know what they say? Eating nutritiously makes you look good in clothes. But exercising makes you look good naked!:cool:

I agree with you,Wannabeskinny. It is one thing to seek advice and get support, but in the end each person has to find what works.

Obviously, it is calories in and calories out, but there are many ways to get the right balance. I love reading all the things that people post here that have worked to help them, but I hate it when people preach their own path to the exclusion of others.

Do what works for you , healthy eating and as my doctor told me 30 mins a day of any kind of exercise as well.

What the heck?

right... im a calorie counter and ive lost 40 lb, and if you go in that forum you'll see tons of women who have lost double or triple that. nothing is "useless". different things just work for different people.

Double doo doo.

If you are eating 3600 calories a day, you know you're in trouble. But calorie counting is most important when you are eating just a little to a moderate amount beyond what you need. That is when calories really count.

As to calorie counting comment, I didn't mean to offend anyone! :O calm down. It is an archaic way of losing weight and while some doctors recommend it, others say avoid it completely. All of my doctors, and a couple of nutritionists, have told me there is very little point in counting calories.

If you ate 1600 calories a day, you've counted the correct amount for your diet, but what if all those calories are from fats and cholesterol? Maybe you lose weight but you're dooming your arteries. And what about when you reach your goal and you stop counting calories? Very few people plan to chart and log their meals for the rest of their lives.

If you are eating the right foods and and in sensible portions, there is no need to "count calories". People have been staying healthy and even losing weight for centuries before they knew what calories were. It's better (and less time-consuming) to avoid eating excessively and avoid foods high in sugar/fats.

But like you mentioned, different things work for different people. If you want to count, by all means go ahead :) was just trying to give the lady some advice.

the problem here is that "right foods" and "sensible portions" are all relative terms. this reminds me of a post a made recently where someone called calorie counting "retro" when i told them thats what i was doing. i could just as easily call other diets "fads". i dont, because i know that what works for some people doesnt work for others. people get prickly when you attack something that has worked for them and make outrageous claims about how it works.

archaic or not, making sure you're using more calories than youre putting in is basic logic. as far as what you said, most of us are trying to get the most for our calories by eating good foods, but even if we didnt...

lets say i had been eating 2500 calories a day. even if i decide to only eat 1000, and i eat 3 snickers bars and one soda a day, im STILL going to lose weight. im probably going to feel hungry and sick all the time, but taking in less calories than you expend = weight loss, no matter what form they're in.

I think the point is that you're assuming a few things and generalizing something like calorie counting, which is a method and tool for many people to help guide them into a healthy lifestyle. Also not every single calorie counter logs every bite they take. My point is there are few methods to counting calories and not just "one way" just like in life style changes, there isn't one way.

Healthy eating is just that, healthy eating. I find that you are assuming that people who count calories are robots, just counting numbers. I mean these people are not rolling around in vats of lard and cheese and dooming their arteries. They are looking at healthier options, using the calorie counting in order to help them maintain a average daily calorie intake. Meaning, they are saying okay, for this meal I can have this many calories. What can I eat that is healthy for me and going to fill me up and make me not overeat? They are just using a method in addition to, hopefully ;), looking at OTHER bits of nutritional information.

I think when you are saying that your doctors said this and that in addition to that you also say that this method is "useless" "archaic" and has "little point." You honestly can't expect that people may not be offended by those comments.

While I don't personally find your comments offensive to me, I do think it is amusing that the thread is about a woman who is tired of the opinionated people around her who think their way is "right" and she felt she was being talked down to, assuming from the title of the thread. Now if you count calories you're retro, archaic, doing something pointless and useless because so and so's doctors said so. etc... :dizzy: I also do agree with you on a few points, but some of your wording seems to attack people who choose to count calories. That might just be my take on it though!

She said it best...

By the way I don't count calories, but in the beginning I did. I needed to learn how to pay attention to the calories, fat, sodium, and more, but I'm at a point in my journey where I am living my life style my way. I do pay attention to my calories though as that works for me. I'm pretty mellow..maybe too mellow...hmmms. :D :carrot:

hehehehehe. i didnt even note this irony.

This is a great example of how everyone needs to know what is the best method for their OWN bodies.

Actually, I started by religious calorie-counting. After a few years (2?) of maintaining, I was able to do it without calorie-counting (eventually, when maintaining, you will be able to judge this accurately and easily through repetition). Now, for the past year, I have been calorie-counting AGAIN because I do a lot of heavy weight training and need to make sure I eat enough food (and ratios of protein/fat/carbs). That's 3 different methods in 5 years for me.

Like we always recommend on 3FC - take STEPS towards a healthy lifestyle in order to make it last. If were were all born dieticians and knew how to do it in the first place, I'm not sure anyone would be here?

Perhaps ... Vanilla might have meant to say that evidence is building that a calorie is only a calorie inside the laboratory, and that as our ability to measure what's going on inside the body is advancing, so is our knowledge that truly, everyone's body treats food differently. Cutting-edge nutrition is moving down into our DNA (nutrigenomics) to tease apart the puzzle of why some people's cells convert fats at 80% efficiency, and others at 95%. Why some foods accelerate one person's aging, and others do not. But until the day comes that we can walk into a lab, give blood, and get a personalized printout of exactly what our optimum diet needs to be ... it's going to continue to be trial and error. I know I've made my share of trials, complete with plenty of error ... and what works for me certainly doesn't fit many of the acceptable modes. If the OP has something that works for her - CONGRATS!!!! Woohoo!

Loved the Times article. It was great. I am so hungry after I work out. I completely destroy any good I have done. I am concentrating on the food and portions and plan on adding back in the exercise after I get my portions under control. I am willing to wait a little longer to lose more in the end.