[kitchencurtains3]

My hubby is supportive. As for your situation. I'm sorry to hear about how your husband isn't supportive. My mom goes through the same thing. My parents are retired, and my mom is active and outgoing. My dad is a depressed alcoholic who has often mentioned dying young. Their marriage is awful. It only gets worse as the years go by. I know what it's like to hope an alcoholic will change, but so many of them don't. I second the recommendation to go to al-anon and find support for yourself.

Just try to remember, you can change your own life, but you can't change his.

[jhonny]

guys love 2 look at their partners when they are sexy...

[MoragMunch]

Please do not take this as being on your husbands side, because I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be for you and you certainly should not allow him to bring you back down.

However, when you look back on your own journey I am sure there must have been times when although you wanted to lose weight, although you wanted to be healthier, you just didn't commit to the actions necessary to do it. And thinking about yourself in those years, in that frame of mind, would someone trying to force you to do something have helped? My guess is no, because most of us resist that kind of pressure.

To be honest, he sounds very deeply depressed and as a person with clinical depression for most of my life, there are times when merely getting out of bed and having a shower and dressing properly are successes for me. That may sound pathetic, but it is hard when all you really want to do is lay in bed and hope to die.

It sounds like he has no passion for his life left. What about trying to subtley bring him around with things that he would like? If he's into video games, why not buy yourself the Wii fit and play it and let him see how much fun you are having - maybe he will do it with you, because he will be enticed. What about purchasing a stationary bike for at home? I know that I have a hard time going to the gym because I feel so inadequate compared to the others there, and those are the days I use my equipment at home even if only for twenty minutes.

I would try to be creative around things he likes so it doesn't take him much initial effort, but once he sees how much fun it is he might be more inclined to be more active.

[girllovesmath]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you're tried really hard to change some of your DH's habits but you know what they say about trying to change a man! It may sound harsh, but maybe he needs an ultimatum. Perhaps the threat of you leaving him will light a fire under his butt. I've been struggling with my BF because he's out of work and not doing all he can to find a job. As soon as I mentioned that I might break up with him (and it was so hard, I was crying the whole time!) he got right on it. He honestly didn't think that I would do that. Like I said, it's harsh and you may not be comfortable doing it, but it could be effective. Everyone deserves to be happy.

[Stella]

First of all - congratulations to your own weight loss! You look fantastic!

Seeing how you look and feel may be enough to entice some spouses to follow suit, but you say that he suffers from depression which can sometimes be paralysing. He says he is not happy with himself which is a very important first step. At least he is not in denial. But I understand your frustration about him being "stuck" there while you have moved on so much on your own.

Don`t really feel qualified to give advice, but addressing his depression seems important in this context. It may help to reduce his drinking, increase his ability to deal with stress which will hopefully energise him to be more active and motivate him to make better choices in respect to his diet.