Tomato, I agree completely. I don't think having a slice of cake is a disaster in any sense. Truthfully, I sometimes feel a little resentful when other posters suggest that eating something (*gasp*) other than broccoli or fish is proof that you're not as healthy or committed to your weight loss as they are. I like having my cake every now and then, and I think I'm as healthy and committed as anyone. And frankly I'm proud that I've managed to teach myself the skill of moderation ;)

That being said, if you want a slice of cake, have it. But for a real reward, nothing beats a day at the spa!

Originally Posted by Tomato:
Ok, I do realize that I am probably in minority, but this is how you plan to live for the rest of your lives? I don't think a slice of cake, as a reward or as a celebration, is not such a disaster.

Tomato, for me there's a big difference between having food at a celebration and using food as a reward. I have no problem at all with celebrations that involve food. A reward, though, is something earned, something deserved, and it's dangerous for me to think of food that way. I say it's dangerous for me because I have a history of emotional eating, and saying "I can eat cake because I lost five pounds," is not all that different from saying, "I can eat cake because I'm having a bad day." It's not the cake eating that's the problem, it's the thought process behind it.

I'm not sure I'll ever completely conquer emotional eating. I've almost completely overcome the behaviors, but the thought processes are still there, so I'm extra careful not to trigger them. And I probably will have to live like that for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that. It's why I tend to say I'm recovering, not recovered, and it's why JayEll's comparison to the junkie rang so true to me.

Lisa

Look @ you LISA!! 105 lbs. Congrats lady <3

Originally Posted by rockinrobin:
You want to add in an indulgence every now and then is one thing, but IMO to use it as a reward for losing weight, is just sending out the wrong message.

Originally Posted by Tomato:
Ok, I do realize that I am probably in minority, but this is how you plan to live for the rest of your lives? I don't think a slice of cake, as a reward or as a celebration, is not such a disaster. Yes, this is a lifestyle but really, we are also alive and should live our lives to the fullest. I am currently on a very carb-restricted eating plan (I do not want to use the word diet) as I am doing P90X and I am trying to be as close to what they recommend .... but I am also turning 50 on Sunday and I will go out of dinner and I think that maybe I will order pasta with meatballs or something equally "decadent". Maybe I will even share with somebody a slice of cake (because the slice tend to be humaguous these days).
.

I'm quoting myself here. But just to repeat it, I said that I think adding in an indulgence once in a while is one thing, but to use food as a reward for losing weight- A REWARD FOR LOSING WEIGHT - is a completely different thing. 2 totally and separate issues. Celebration, splurge - one thing - reward for losing weight another. But that's just me.

Was I really THAT unclear about how I felt? Sheesh, it's hard to get ones thoughts out here on the internet sometimes. :dizzy:

Originally Posted by LisaF:
Tomato, for me there's a big difference between having food at a celebration and using food as a reward. I have no problem at all with celebrations that involve food. A reward, though, is something earned, something deserved, and it's dangerous for me to think of food that way. I say it's dangerous for me because I have a history of emotional eating, and saying "I can eat cake because I lost five pounds," is not all that different from saying, "I can eat cake because I'm having a bad day." It's not the cake eating that's the problem, it's the thought process behind it.

I'm not sure I'll ever completely conquer emotional eating. I've almost completely overcome the behaviors, but the thought processes are still there, so I'm extra careful not to trigger them. And I probably will have to live like that for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that. It's why I tend to say I'm recovering, not recovered, and it's why JayEll's comparison to the junkie rang so true to me.

Lisa

Exactly this.

Lisa, I'm so glad you're back here at 3FC. You get your point across very well. And to boot, it's usually the same point as mine. Makes my life lots easier........

Never food. It's been different things, clothes, pedicure, jewelry, such as that. I know that my absolute final reward to myself will be a spa day and an awesome pair of expensive but worth every penny jeans. Had to come back because I totally forgot to add the biggie. I've been wanting to take the kids to D.C. forever so I'm planning a spring trip there. I know I'll be at goal by then and not having any issues with walking all over with my new light fit self :)

When I lost 10 lbs, my reward was new underwear. When I lost 20 lbs, it was getting a ring resized. I haven't come up with something for losing 30 lbs.

Originally Posted by LisaF:
I'm not sure I'll ever completely conquer emotional eating. I've almost completely overcome the behaviors, but the thought processes are still there, so I'm extra careful not to trigger them. And I probably will have to live like that for the rest of my life, but I'm okay with that.
Lisa

Lisa,
I fully understand this because I have to be very careful myself not to give in to emotional eating. It is easier once one learns to identify it and realize that's what it is, but it can be still difficult at times. Just like you, it is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life as well.

Originally Posted by rockinrobin:
I'm quoting myself here. But just to repeat it, I said that I think adding in an indulgence once in a while is one thing, but to use food as a reward for losing weight- A REWARD FOR LOSING WEIGHT - is a completely different thing. 2 totally and separate issues. Celebration, splurge - one thing - reward for losing weight another. But that's just me.

Was I really THAT unclear about how I felt? Sheesh, it's hard to get ones thoughts out here on the internet sometimes. :dizzy:

Originally Posted by rockinrobin:
Exactly this.
Lisa, I'm so glad you're back here at 3FC. You get your point across very well. And to boot, it's usually the same point as mine. Makes my life lots easier........

Robin,
I have a feeling (from this and also from some previous posts) that you may feel like I am picking you out and attacking your beliefs. I don't, it's just that you represent one approach and I represent another one, and so I don't entirely agree with what you (or somebody else) may be saying. But please believe me that it is not personal.

I understand what you are saying about a reward being one thing and a splurge or celebration being another one, although it strikes me (and that's not to disagree, it's just a comment) that at the end, the result is actually the same - i.e. the slice of cake or whatever ending up in your/mine stomach. I do realize that the mental rationalization behind the act itself is very important but it just make me smile that we may argue about how we "classify" it while the eating of the cake (on its owned, stripped of the mental process) will be the same in either case. :dizzy:

For me, rewards don't work. If I want new clothes, I'll go get it. Similarly, if I need hair or nails done I'll go get it done. I have a terrible sweet tooth and cake is one of my major weaknesses. I don't reward myself with food as that's a dangerous path to follow. Having said that, I do have my weaknesses for certain foods :( and I try my best to incorporate them in my calorie limits.

I do eat cake or any dessert but I try to plan for it. As long as I account for what I eat and am within my calorie limit I am ok with it. And I don't eat it every day. Especially, when we go out to eat, there are times when I've checked their dessert menu with the entree menu to see if there's any dessert I'd like to try. Then I order my entree accordingly to save room for dessert (dessert junkie here :lol:). Of course, there have been times when the best plans have gone hay wire so I make sure that I make up for it next day or two by eating lower calories and workout harder. Live and learn is the motto.

I don't know, but I'm leaning towards a day at the spa. Never been to a spa before :o

Originally Posted by Tomato:

Robin,
I have a feeling (from this and also from some previous posts) that you may feel like I am picking you out and attacking your beliefs. I don't, it's just that you represent one approach and I represent another one, and so I don't entirely agree with what you (or somebody else) may be saying. But please believe me that it is not personal.

I understand what you are saying about a reward being one thing and a splurge or celebration being another one, although it strikes me (and that's not to disagree, it's just a comment) that at the end, the result is actually the same - i.e. the slice of cake or whatever ending up in your/mine stomach. I do realize that the mental rationalization behind the act itself is very important but it just make me smile that we may argue about how we "classify" it while the eating of the cake (on its owned, stripped of the mental process) will be the same in either case. :dizzy:

Tomato, I really didn't feel as if you WERE picking me out. So there's absolutely no need to say that it's not personal. I'm truly aware.

I'll say it again, *For me*, a food reward for losing weight really is a totally and completely different thing then a "splurge".

I don't think it's the same at the end of the day. Not even close. Nuh - uh, not even a little bit. Lisa described it quite well and I don't think it's necessary to rehash it again.

I'll just leave it at - I am one who agrees with Jays analogy of comparing it to a drug addict shooting up as his reward for staying clean"

These are my feelings, they work for me. I need to have my terminology be my terminology, because quite frankly, I am the one that matters here, because I'm the one who has to live and deal with me ;).

I am more then happy to agree to disagree with you. :smug:

I dunno...I have had moments where I go "you know I've been doing really well with things I think I'll have a splurge treat" but for me that means something like hummus or a piece of raw cheesecake (which I really lurve, but I think my last slice was 3 and a half months ago lol.) Though to be honest, when I say doing well with things it isn't about weight loss. Maybe it is like I've been working hard at a project, or blah blah. But I don't think it is a food reward though...I don't remember ever giving myself a junkie reward for loosing weight. Mostly I'm just splurging on something like a night out on the town, or going out to do this or that, or having a night full of horror movies and a few raw movie snacks haha (hummus usually with veggies). Same kind of mentality for me...meaning it isn't always about food.

I have rewarded myself with clothing, which I have to buy in order to you know clothe myself. It is exciting to get a new top or something and now THAT is a reward for me and the reason is really because I don't have a lot of funds to go out and buy things. So, when I feel great and see the weight coming off and my clothes becoming more and more like tents, well going out and getting a few new duds makes me feel like I've been rewarded. I really enjoy it.

I definitely reward myself with food when I've met a goal, or have something to celebrate. But I reward myself with on plan food! It's not chocolate cake, but it can be just as good. The thing that I'm really sad about on this thread is the idea that to be special/a reward, the food has to be high calorie or off-plan...it doesn't!

Let's say I've lost weight or met some other goal and want to celebrate that with food. I might plan myself some fabulous meal at home, maybe including an ingredient that's normally outside of my food budget (like a nice piece of sustainably caught fish, for example, or a gorgeous 4 oz grass-finished filet mignon), and that takes extra care, time, and ingredients to prepare. I'd indulge in a little saffron and make a Spanish brown rice to go with the fish, maybe, or get some fingerling potatoes to roast with the filet. Maybe I'd even buy an artichoke (they're so pricey here!) for my veggie. If I had the calories in my budget, I'd have a glass of really good wine. Then I'd take the time to make myself an on plan, homemade dessert that feels like a celebration... a few layers of phyllo dough, twisted and seasoned with a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar and baked into cookies, and served with a bowl of SF ice cream, or my pear upside down baked pancake (basically, whole grain pancake mix sweetened up a tiny bit with some splenda, baked on top of a layer of fresh pears with a touch of brown sugar to caramelize them, then turned out for a pretty presentation).

Or maybe I treat myself to a big grocery shopping run at a gourmet food store, buying things I wouldn't normally buy or, again, that might make my meals more exciting (I buy a lot of spices as rewards).

I honestly have no problems rewarding myself with fabulous food. I try not to reward myself with off-plan food, but food can be amazingly tasty (but outside the budget/time availability to be eaten every day) and still healthy and on-plan, and using THOSE special meals as a reward is a GOOD thing to me...it both allows me to reward myself with something I love (I'm a foodie) and teaches me that healthy food can be a wonderful treat, both things that help me in maintaining.

Originally Posted by mandalinn82:
I honestly have no problems rewarding myself with fabulous food. I try not to reward myself with off-plan food, but food can be amazingly tasty (but outside the budget/time availability to be eaten every day) and still healthy and on-plan, and using THOSE special meals as a reward is a GOOD thing to me...it both allows me to reward myself with something I love (I'm a foodie) and teaches me that healthy food can be a wonderful treat, both things that help me in maintaining.

Me too, I couldn't have said it better! ;)

Originally Posted by mandalinn82:
I definitely reward myself with food when I've met a goal, or have something to celebrate. But I reward myself with on plan food! It's not chocolate cake, but it can be just as good. The thing that I'm really sad about on this thread is the idea that to be special/a reward, the food has to be high calorie or off-plan...it doesn't!

Let's say I've lost weight or met some other goal and want to celebrate that with food. I might plan myself some fabulous meal at home, maybe including an ingredient that's normally outside of my food budget (like a nice piece of sustainably caught fish, for example, or a gorgeous 4 oz grass-finished filet mignon), and that takes extra care, time, and ingredients to prepare. I'd indulge in a little saffron and make a Spanish brown rice to go with the fish, maybe, or get some fingerling potatoes to roast with the filet. Maybe I'd even buy an artichoke (they're so pricey here!) for my veggie. If I had the calories in my budget, I'd have a glass of really good wine. Then I'd take the time to make myself an on plan, homemade dessert that feels like a celebration... a few layers of phyllo dough, twisted and seasoned with a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar and baked into cookies, and served with a bowl of SF ice cream, or my pear upside down baked pancake (basically, whole grain pancake mix sweetened up a tiny bit with some splenda, baked on top of a layer of fresh pears with a touch of brown sugar to caramelize them, then turned out for a pretty presentation).

Or maybe I treat myself to a big grocery shopping run at a gourmet food store, buying things I wouldn't normally buy or, again, that might make my meals more exciting (I buy a lot of spices as rewards).

I honestly have no problems rewarding myself with fabulous food. I try not to reward myself with off-plan food, but food can be amazingly tasty (but outside the budget/time availability to be eaten every day) and still healthy and on-plan, and using THOSE special meals as a reward is a GOOD thing to me...it both allows me to reward myself with something I love (I'm a foodie) and teaches me that healthy food can be a wonderful treat, both things that help me in maintaining.

I definitely see your point and I actually like the idea. I DO like the idea that you are using HEALTHY on plan food, as opposed to UNhealthy-ish on plan food. Because for me, well UNhealthy food is part of my plan occasionally and I since it IS only occasionally I don't see that PRACTICE as being unhealthy. But to use those particular foods (the unhealthy-ish) ones as reward..... oh yes, we've covered that already. ;)

:dizzy::dizzy::dizzy: Wait a sec. I don't "reward" myself anymore for staying on plan, now that I'm in maintenance (although I know some do). It's just what I do and so automatic to me. All this "reward" stuff worked for me at the start of my journey. Now, it's lost its usefulness. :dunno: