Frustrated...
 

I'm losing weight and sticking to my plan for the most part and everything, but today I'm very frustrated. I'm pissed that I've lost 36 pounds and I'm still 310lbs. I just feel like there is such a far way to go before I'm not "fat" any more. I also realized that when I hit the 100lb loss, I will still be 246lbs. It's irritating that I let myself become so heavy. I've been over 200 pounds since i was 9 or 10. I'm so tired of it! AHHH! I need some support today. :stress:

I know how you feel but you are doing great. Think about how much healthier your body is now, it only gets better. Cheer up and give yourself a hug for me :D :hug:

Every pound loss is one less! Every day that you haven't gained is a triumph in and of itself (at least it feels that way for me). You can do it, the only way to walk a mile is to take it one step at a time, and the same goes for weight loss. Just keep on truckin'!

Well, look at it this way.

Right now, you're where you are. No amount of beating yourself up will change that FOR RIGHT NOW. So your options are: stay where you are, or make a change. No option exists to go back in time and make yourself -not- your current weight right now. You may not be super thrilled with that, but that's the way it is.

But you do have an option to go FORWARD in time, and make yourself -not- your current weight in the future. And you're doing that! And that is all that is within your power to do...so give yourself a break, let go of what you can't do, and focus on what you can.

:hug:

Zanni -- :hug: I can relate. The most depressing part of my journey was after I had lost 70 or 75 pounds. Starting at around 300 pounds I had even outgrown plus-size stores and to that point on the way down had shopped in my closet.

So I was very excited to go to an outlet mall and shop. However, most stores didn't go beyond size 18 and there was nothing I fit into. I had come so far and still had a way to go. I cried that day.

But you can make it! Set mini-goals for yourself and celebrate every 5 pounds lost in whatever way you can! (maybe not with food!) Find ways to demonstrate your improvement beyond the scale by setting fitness goals.

Try to get excited about the journey!

I know exactly how you feel. But you won't feel better if you stop now. It sucks, but for now, just put your head down and keep plugging away. It's not helpful at this point to be looking out at the horizon at your goal. Chip away at it like you have been though, and good things will happen. Heck, they already have! 36 pounds is great!

I know what you are feeling because I feel it too, but we've just got to fight through it. Until someone invents the magic wand, there is no other way. :hug:

It's easy to get frustrated, but when I do, I remember how far I've come and how much better I feel every day. You've lost 36 pounds and that's wonderful! You will be able to keep this up and lose every pound you want-just remember that it's one day at a time, not 100 pounds at a time. It's doable if you keep your focus on a day-to-day, meal-by-meal, snack-by-snack timeline and don't project too much into the future. The future will get here and then you'll be amazed at how much you've lost and how much better you feel! Keep up the great work!:hug:

I can definitely relate to frustration so you're not alone there. You just have to remind yourself that 36lbs is a HUGE accomplishment. Don't take that away from yourself. You deserve to be congratulated! You've decided to do a wonderful thing for your health and the benefits of that are way more important than just a smaller number on the scale.

Don't beat yourself up about how you got to where you are, because if you're looking at the past it's hard to keep moving forward. Just remember that you're working very hard and it's already paid off with a 36 lb loss! That's HUGE! I know looking at the big picture is very overwhelming. But just set up little goals and keep chipping away 1 lb at a time. You're going to get there. I know it. xoxo

OK, so go to your local grocery store and take 4 ten pound bags of potatoes off the produce shelf. I mean this. DO it. LOOK at size of the pile. Now try to lift 2 bags at once with each hand. NOW tell me that those 36 lbs of yours is "meaningless". This is what you USED to lug around with you all day. And what your heart was asked to deal with. And what your hips and knees accommodated with every step and every movement.

NEXT, take another 6 ten pound bags and pile them on top of the pile. This will be 100 pounds. Now try to lift 5 of those bags up with each hand at the same time. NOW tell me that 100 lbs is "pointless".

DO this to connect your MIND to the reality of what you have done. Right now, the numbers are abstract. But with the potato bags, you'll see that what you have done is fabulous for your health, and what you WILL do will be respectful to yourself and your body.

It'll be ALL downhill from there...

Trust me. DO THIS. IT'LL COST YOU NOTHING. BUT IT WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.

And tell us how it went...

:hug:

Kira

sweetie, I can identify with the how did I let myself get so big rant---You just have to keep going knowing that in the end you are going to look GREAT and feel great and best of all THOSE OUTFITS that only looked good on the rack will look super hot on you, AND you will be so much healthier!

Thank you all for the support I seriously seriously appreciate it... and Kira.. I will try that when I am at the grocery store.

zanni,

Your weight loss to date is excellent! You are doing so well! We all have our frustrating days and what not, but you will absolutely get to your goal weight! You can do this!

Zanni:

I commend you for the control you have taken over your health!!!! Yeah, you weight 310 lbs...BUT, you are not 346 lbs anymore. That is a very nice accomplishment. And you are so close to the 2's!!!!

BTW, I looked at your blog. I am just wondering, is there a specific reason your calories are so low? I noticed on a 1500+ calorie day that you were a little discouraged because you had eaten a bit more. It is obviously working for you, but you are going way lower than 1200 on some days and I am just a bit worried that this could be the cause of your discouragement. If it seems to be working and you don't feel deprived or hungry, that is great. Just something I noticed.

Totally reasonable and understandable. As others have said, that's THIRTY SIX POUNDS LESS than you were when you began. That's 36 lbs that you don't have to worry about losing anymore, that you don't have to clothe anymore, that you don't have to carry around anymore. That's 10.4 or so percent of body weight that you've lost. It's one, or quite a few rather, step in your journey that you don't have to climb up anymore.

I agree not to beat yourself up about it. What you did in the past is just that -- the past.

But, keep this feeling in the back of your mind somewhere in case you ever start gaining back some of the weight... remember that "future you" will have just that much more to lose and be frustrated with. That will give you extra motivation to maintain after you reach your goals! (Notice I'm completely confident you WILL reach them!)

Originally Posted by Niecy:
Zanni:

I commend you for the control you have taken over your health!!!! Yeah, you weight 310 lbs...BUT, you are not 346 lbs anymore. That is a very nice accomplishment. And you are so close to the 2's!!!!

BTW, I looked at your blog. I am just wondering, is there a specific reason your calories are so low? I noticed on a 1500+ calorie day that you were a little discouraged because you had eaten a bit more. It is obviously working for you, but you are going way lower than 1200 on some days and I am just a bit worried that this could be the cause of your discouragement. If it seems to be working and you don't feel deprived or hungry, that is great. Just something I noticed.

My doctor suggested 1200- 1500 calories. I am eating things that make me full! I've been losing steadily. When I was first getting myself on to a decent plan my calories were really really low, but I've upped them and I am trying to hit at least 1200 calories a day. On the days that I was upset about my food intake, it was more about some of the bad choices I made rather than the number of calories. Thank you for your concern though! I know my calorie levels are low, but I started with a BMI of 51 or 52. My doctor told me that if I didn't lose at least 50 pounds she would strongly recomend me getting gastric bipass, and I DON'T want surgery!

A big hug to you! The first part IS really hard--for me, at least--because you're paying the price, but not feeling any rewards yet. But like Kiramira said--36 pounds is a big deal! AND in only 10 pounds, you'll be out of the 300s and in the 200s!!! That's huge--and right around the corner!!

You are welcome Zanni. Just wanna look out for a fellow chickie ;)

I have the same problem some days too with getting enough cals. I noticed after reading in the calorie counters forum that it is a bigger problem than most people would think.

Seeing as how you have already lost 36, I am certain that you can DEFINITELY do this without having surgery. Focus more on the short-term goals and passing those goals for now and pretty soon, your long-term goal will be right around the corner.

I think you are and will continue to be an inspiration to many, many people. While surgery is no easy decision and has very many obstacles, it is not written in stone that once you reach xxx amount of pounds it is the only way out. And you are proving that. :hug:

A comment about calories and weighing 300 pounds...

I started off calorie counting when I weighed 285 pounds, having lost some just by portion control. I started off eating 2000 calories a day (lowering it to around 1800 at the end) and lost 100 pounds in a little over a year.

Your doctor may not know a lot about diets and nutrition, and IF you find you are struggling at 1200-1500 calories you may want to consider going higher. What worked for me may not work for you, but I am not the only one who was morbidly obese and lost a lot of weight at higher calories. People who weigh more need more calories for everything they do.

You might also want to see a dietician. They are specifically trained to understand nutrition. Again, IF you feel you are struggling at 1200-1500 calories.

I started off eating in the 1800 to 2000 range too, just so you know. I agree that many doctors are not well trained in diet and weight loss. My doctor, at my recent check up, told me to chuck bananas and bread (his total advice).

I had the same thought that Kira did, go lift something that weighs 36 lbs, it will give you a much better perspective on the weight you've taken off your body. it's nothing to sneeze at, it took you work and effort and perseverence, and you did it!

I just wanted to add I've been up there in the 300s, and I know the mental frustration of thinking how far I had to go. You say after 100 lbs you'll ONLY be at 246. I can tell you from personal experience, that the difference of being in the 300s and 246 is HUGE! Healthwise, stamina wise, mentally, emotionally, socially, quality of life, in every way. Hang in there, chickie!

Originally Posted by :
Thank you for your concern though! I know my calorie levels are low, but I started with a BMI of 51 or 52. My doctor told me that if I didn't lose at least 50 pounds she would strongly recomend me getting gastric bipass, and I DON'T want surgery!

When I started my BMI was 51.4 and my doctor did recommend gastric bypass. That is just what it was, a recommendation, not a commandment! I have not seen him yet since my loss but am looking forward to what he has to say about it. My BMI is now 39.9, still obese but not morbidly obese. It will be lower still by the time he sees me. I am not criticizing those who chose the gastric bypass. I just did not want it and it sounds like you don't either. You can chose how you want to handle your life.

You can lose this weight, you have already shown that. I have two concerns for you:
1- your frustration and
2 - you need to have a plan that you can stick with long term. The two may be related. Maybe you can stick with your current plan, we are all different.

I have certainly had my "I want it and I want it now" moments. Then I remember how fast time really passes overall. A year goes by pretty quickly now for me. :) A year can make a big difference, read http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/2795611-post1.html.

Take a deep breath, remember that you are in a marathon, not a sprint.

:hug: You can do this!

Hi hon!

There is TONS of advice here. And it sounds like you are being followed by a physician who is REALLY concerned about your weight and wants you to get it off. We don't know your medical history, or the reasons for your intake.

What I DO know is this:
1. You are being medically followed.
2. You ARE successful.
3. THIS IS WORKING FOR YOU.

So don't feel the need to justify what you are doing. Everyone will have an opinion, and sometimes the TOUGHEST thing is to have confidence in yourself and your choices and to follow your own path.

You can do this!!!! It WILL happen!!! And I wanna know how the potato test went :lol:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Kira

Hiya Zanni!

From a fellow (former) 300+ pounder I can assure you that I totally and 100% can relate to where you are coming from. I want to break out in song about now and sing to you...LOL ;)

Morbid Obesity SUCKS and it is depressing when you realize just what you have done to your body...But, the body forgives and heals and you are reclaiming your life back, and for that you are truly amazing. So many people never make it as far as you have. I think about the 100's of morbidly obese new members who have come through 3FC just in the time I have been posting here. They come in with dreams and hopes, and in a few days they are gone never to be heard from again....YOU, are doing it. You have made a commitment and are plugging away at what seems impossible to SO many. You are beating the odds and that is truly remarkable.

As far as the time...you will be amazed at how quickly it goes. The only annoying thing will be when you see friends and family who you haven't seen in ages, they will think the weight just magically melted off...;)

Thank all of you SO MUCH for the encouragement. This place is so wonderful
None of my friends or family are engaged in weight loss like this and no one understands. Thank you all so much for being here for me!

I know my weight wasn't as high as yours, but I read your post and my heart lept. I called those "dark days" on another thread recently. Those loong months and months where you are being strict and doing everything right and yet, are still F-A-T. Those long months before exciting, real-feeling "results."

For me the dark days were all throughout last fall, through the winter, even into early spring before I got excited. Really, I came here still grim, not even excited yet, but everyone's NSV and the like got me living in the moment a little more.

For you it might be longer dark days, I don't know -- maybe your higher starting weight means your dark days will be 10 months or something. However long it will be until you realize how worth it your hard work has been. All I can tell you is that wow, so worth it. Hold on tight. Just hold the line and keep going. Later, when you are 190 or somewhere near to goal, it will feel almost like it went quickly!

In two previous attempts I stopped during the dark days, and I see now that I did the work and yet gave up before I could see any of the outcomes that were just about to come to me. You know, the feelings that it worked, it made a big difference ... I see now that it was just about to get rewarding. That if only I had held on in 07 or 08! Ah well, I am truly in it this time. This is something I've never done before. Thank God I am doing it.

Just whatever you do, hold on. Hang in.

I just want to give you a big ole hug! 36 pounds is HUGE! When I read your first post, I thought "Man, I haven't even lost 36 pounds yet!".

You are doing a fantastic job! You are only 10 pounds from the 200s! You are so close to a tremendous milestone! Keep going, girlie! We are here cheering for you. :-)

I also went to know about the potato test! I remember when I lost 20 pounds, I picked up my dog (who weighs 20 pounds) and I was thinking, "Man, I cannot believe I was carrying this around with me all the time!". ...and you've lost 16 more pounds than that!!