This week for whatever reason I've stayed completely on track with my eating, have been extremely conscious of portions etc. I have a new give and take attitude, that if I decide I want that donut for breakfast I think "sorry kid, you cant have the cottage cheese and almonds too, and forget about going to chipotle for dinner" And through all of this week, in the back of my head was "just wait.. Saturday can be your high calorie day and you can have your treats then" So I staved off most sweets and fatty foods knowing darned well I was going to eat them today.

Well... It's today. And it's not that I'm dissapointed so far, or that I'm ashamed at what I've eaten... but the joy I was anticipating isn't there. For instance:

I'm making an icecream cake for my family. Poundcake, coolwhip mixed with homemade strawberry sauce, vanilla icecream, more coolwhip, fresh berries. I didn't need to use all of the poundcake, so I had some left over. I decided for breakfast I was going to have a chunk with some of the strawberry sauce. It was delicious... but 300 calories delicious? It felt like an empty meal...cuz it was. THEN when I'm assembling the cake I eat some of the ice-cream straight out the container...probably about 1 cups worth...another 300 calories... so I'm basically already out 600 for the day and have had NOTHING to show for it nutrition wise. While these were good to eat in the moment, and they were tasty..I just feel kinda...I dunno.. dissapointed.

Thinking about it, I guess I'm dissapointed in both myself, and in the food for not giving me the high I expected. But I guess both of these feelings are valid, and a step in the right direction to having a good mental hold on food.

I'm going to my parents houes for a BBQ later today. I'm going to go in without these stupid expecations I have for food and how they SHOULD make me feel, and just enjoy myself and enjoy the food I do end up chosing. one. bite. at a time.

Does anyone else have this kind of conundrum on "high calorie days" I have this gut feeling that maybe I shouldn't plan them, but rather be ok with having them when life gets in the way.

It happens.
One of the guys at work is a high ranking amateur tennis player and his birthday always falls in Wimbledon week, so he brings "Wimbledon" cakes to work: Vanilla cake, beautiful cream and loads of strawberries, from a very expensive pastry shop.
While I don't normally go for sweet stuff, I have always loved these and had promised myself that for once I would be allowed a piece (I don't normally eat the "free" food at work, there is so much of it all the time).
I took one bite of the cake and I had to put it down: it was soooo sweet to my palate now, I found it absolutely revolting. I gave the rest to a very happy co-worker who can eat like a horse and not gain a gram.
I was very disappointed. I had so been looking forward to this. At the same time I am astonished at how much my palate has changed in the last few months

I've totally had that experience too. I wanted to throw out there that I have had a lot of success with talking to myself about enjoying the company vs. the food at gatherings such as holidays and what-not. When I'm really, really on my game, I focus on identifying one or two really special moments with those I love at those occasions to commit to memory. That's what it really should be all about and I lose sight of that on occasion.

Peg