that sounds like social anxiety. I have it too. I experience this in the class room especially when I get the highest grade on the exams. It's like yes, I did it ..but please don't point it out. I actually feel bad for succeeding so much and don't want people to know--especially don't put me on the spot.

I work through social anxiety, by knowing I have it, and then ignoring it...focus on what's going on around me and take my mind off myself.

I am studying to be a nurse, when I have to focus on other people constantly the anxiety goes away as I am not even thinking about myself.

lori bell you are truly an inspiration and I think it is awesome how far you have come!

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight (30lbs) I was working as a hairdresser. I had worked there for many years and knew alot of the people who came into the salon, even if I didn't do their hair. The problem with seeing so many people so regularly is that they really feel like they know you so they feel comfortable asking very personal questions. This was far more uncomfortable for me when I was pregnant. People I barely know putting their hands on my belly uninvited. Asking me if we used fertility treatments. How long we were trying to conceive. If the pregnancy was planned or an "accident". One person actually lifted up my shirt to see my "twin belly" without asking!

When people started asking about how I was losing weight I would just laugh a little and say "Stupid old fashioned, "right" way. Excersise and eating right" and change the subject.

Originally Posted by Moralia:
Men can be such morons sometimes!!! lol!!! ;)

So VERY true! It's like they lack that filter on their mouths.

Originally Posted by kiramira:
Agreeing with these negative comments leaves the person nowheres to go, except on to another topic.You won't be sucked into an arguement about why you are doing what you are doing, and how you are eating. You just agree and move on to another topic! And then log on to 3FC and vent! Because we all get it and we all understand...

Kira

Ooh, I love this strategy -- talk about totally diffusing the situation!

I have mixed feelings about people commenting on my weight loss. I have lost 25 pounds in the last year. It isn't 50 but still it is a significant amount of weight and it definitely shows. My parents and siblings know that I've lost the weight and a few other family members. Other than that I pretty much keep it to myself.

I guess letting people know I've lost weight means acknowledging that I was fat (well fatter than I am now.) Since I never acknowledged that I was fat before, I think my friends picked up on my unwillingness to talk about it and have never mentioned it.

I secretly wish more people would comment. I still have a hard time seeing the difference and it helps to make me feel like I've accomplished something.

It's a good thing that I'm not gaining weight even though I'm eat more that the usual. But I can now feel the stress (I"m working at night btw). Next plan is to have a regular exercise.

I say be proud of yourself!
You could give them my 12 year old daughter's standard answer for anything,
maybe I have, maybe I haven't.

I am a teacher and have the summer off and recently ran into a coworker who couldn't place her finger on what was different about me. I just chuckled to myself but was secretly pleased someone out there might have noticed I lost some weight!

Good luck with the weight loss and the embarassing public comments.

Darcel

Originally Posted by megwini:
That's so me! Like I feel happy on the INSIDE about the comments, but at the same time, I get so embarrassed and wish they hadn't brought it up. I think it might be that I'm embarrassed because it's bringing attention to the fact that I'm FAT. Yes, I've lost weight, but I'm STILL fat. And it kind of brings attention to that, indirectly, and I think it makes me self-conscious.

Oh, I can really relate to this, your posts.

Yet the embarrassment has been going away as I keep losing and start feeling more comfortable in my own skin again. (To my surprise!)

I still don't like to be a spectacle, of course (ugh!) but I guess I feel increasingly capable when it comes to briefly 'taking the floor' before deflecting.

Of course, I agree that the best people are the ones like my husband's aunt, who found a discreet moment to direct only me and say in a low voice that I look great, I must've lost a lot of weight. I really appreciated that. Very classy way to do it. If I didn't before, I now know that that's the only way I would comment to someone else.

I like the compliments....I just hate when people yell at the top of their lungs "WOW YOU HAVE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT". Its like GEE thanks now the whole world knows i was fat. thanks for your help....It seems liek they do it on purpose...

Originally Posted by CakeBatter:
I like the compliments....I just hate when people yell at the top of their lungs "WOW YOU HAVE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT". Its like GEE thanks now the whole world knows i was fat. thanks for your help....It seems liek they do it on purpose...

That's exactly what I hate about it. It doesn't need to be an announcement or group discussion, just say it to the person in a privately conscious way.