How do you keep going?
 

Hey there -
Thanks for all of your helpful and inspiring posts! Love seeing the before and after pix - they give me hope when I'm having a bad day.

I'm new on the board but have been reading for a while and am curious about others who have tried to lose weight before or have lost some of it before then gained it back and are starting the journey again. What's different for you about this time and how do you know you'll keep going? I've psyched myself up for a change so many times and made the initial steps but somehow haven't quite gotten there, at least not in a permanent way. Would love to hear how you all are sticking to it.

Welcome dancerindenver!

Is this time different?
Do you have a plan?

I lost 70lbs in my 20's. I maintained it for 7 or so years, then I got preganant, married, got preganant again and fell into using food to cope with stress. Then I developed mobility issues.

Why do I think I'll do it this time? Because I didn't psyche myself up (except once) to lose weight. I ignored it completely. I'd read that yo-yoing was actually more dangerous to me health than staying fat. More significantly, I wasn't going to pass on an obsession with my weight to my daughter without taking action--and I haven't been ready to take action until now.

How do I know I'm going to stick with it?
Because why wouldn't I? In fact, I'm going to go and excercise right now--and then I'll know I'm "walking the talk" lol!

That's great - I'd head out and join you (if only virtually : ) ) but I have a bit more time to put in at the office before I can head out.

You sound totally committed and I sort of envy your certainty. I've gotten started so many times and lost 10-15 lbs then got distracted or lost motivation and somehow ended up right where I started or worse (yikes!).

I'm so impressed by the determination and strength of purpose of the people who post here - you guys are amazing! And I'd really like to be just like you, and this time for longer than a month or so : )

Any tips?

welcome dancerindenver! I've yo-yo'd all my life, unfortunately spent way more time in the heavier yo-part :D

This time it's my age that is making me stick to it. If my eating isn't perfect, then at least I have gotten my workout done for the day. I have seen what consistant working out does for people in their 50's, 60's, 70's...not only do I want to have a long life, I want to have a good long life, keep flexibility and strength, not have to move to a single-level home because of stairs, you know.

best wishes to you!

I keep going because this is the healthy body I want to live in. I keep going because I have built healthy habits. I keep going because this is just my life - the way I live now. I keep going because I feel BETTER when I eat good foods - more energy. I keep going because I love shopping and I love my closet full of size 6 clothes. I keep going because I like being naked in front of my significant other (sorry, maybe TMI!). I keep going because I created/tweaked/changed/adapted a plan that is perfectly suited to how I live, what I like to eat, has occasional indulgences and because it is for ME it is easy for ME to follow.

This is my second serious attempt to lose weight. Last time (about 5 years ago), I lost about 25 pounds in about 4 months doing Weight Watchers before I decided I could do it on my own. I was wrong. Though it did take a long time to creep back up. :)

This time I've already been going for over 5 months (WW again, but plain calorie counting on The Daily Plate instead of points), and I don't show any signs of wanting to stop. I mostly credit my GWF armband, my kitchen scales, and my super-accurate new bathroom scale. I'm surrounded by accurate information about what I'm eating, what I'm burning, and what I'm losing. There's just no room for me to kid myself about anything. There's nothing to do but just keep going. :) I think also wearing the armband every day is a constant reminder of what I'm doing... I'm not embarrassed by it, and I don't really mind wearing it, but it wouldn't be there if I hadn't let myself go 60 pounds overweight. Wearing it every day means I'm "on plan", so to go "off plan" I'd have to choose not to wear it. That'd be a pretty drastic step, not something I could just casually do.

So yeah, I think this time around I've really found out what's important for me (accurate info, plus a physical "reminder" on my arm everywhere I go), and because of all my great tools I'm finally managing to change the way I look at eating and exercising. This feels like it's really going to "stick". :)

I keep going because I'm getting older a lot faster than I thought I would and in just a few short years that youthful simplicity look I love will no longer be possible for me.

I'm going to be 32 this summer, have no kids and would like to enjoy part of my thirties and not be bogged down by the weight like I was for most of my 20s.

Also, there are some serious health conditions I'm predisposed to and I just don't want them. I want to prevent them all together.

One thing I didn't realize until this very last time is -- you don't have to feel super committed all the time. It's not always going to be an amazing experience as you embark on your new lifestyle as a changed person.

But you can fight to make better choices and do that consistently. The same way you'd fight for anything else you want and have to strive for.

By the by--I like how confident I sounded, too, lol!

Listen to Glory--she knows what she's talking about more than I do.

Come tell us when you've done your workout. It's worth celebrating!

By the by--I "resolved" to quit smoking and did quit--for about a month many many times before I quit for good. And even now I can't be entirely sure I've quit "for good." It's been seven months--and all I know is that the longer it gets since my last cigarette the less I want one. (Actually, the very idea of having a cigarette right now is revolting to me.)

Hello everyone. Nice topic.

I am completely taking this idea from another poster--but the words below are my own. I think it was Counting Down--not sure though.

What is different this time is accountability and community. I have surrounded and even cradled myself in support. In addition, I am sincerely giving support to those around me--online and in real time--with the endeavors of others. It is part of the community--in fact, a VERY LARGE part. I hold myself accountable by keeping a food journal and weighing each and every morning. I am also honest about my choices and my exercise.

I would also add to that list that I am educating myself more and more about food. I am trying new things. I am open to all possibilities quite literally when it comes to food and eating.

I like what you said "Thighs Be Gone" I'm thinking of quitting the night shift and look for another job that will allow me to work like all normal people. I just wish that looking for another job would be that easy. *sigh*

I just want to add, I keep going because I KNOW the alternative. I know what happens when I don’t keep going! I regain all the weight – and more! I rode that dismal merry-go-round of loss/regain for 20 years and it’s heartbreaking and soul crushing. I can only speak from my experience, but I felt like a worthless, out of control, no will power loser.

I look at my life before weight loss/maintenance and after and there is NO COMPARISON.

I’ve had my chance to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and it didn’t make me happy at all. The food might have tasted good briefly, but I was a heavy, depressed, lethargic woman with one pair of jeans that fit (barely – I had to unbutton them when I was alone in my office/driving home in the car). I spent a lot of time daydreaming about losing weight and being thin. These grand, elaborate plans of how I would diet, what I would eat, fantasies about being thin, shopping, how my life would be different. So much navel gazing and mental effort, so little actually accomplished!

Now, I do spend a lot of time thinking/planning meals, but I would have to say that time is SO PRODUCTIVE. I eat well, I look great and I feel amazing.

I also don’t beat myself up for eating off plan anymore. I understand it will happen – dust off, keep going. No more blaming and calling myself names. I am hard wired genetically to stuff carbs in my mouth – makes sense if I were a prehistoric woman, no sense hating myself for something that might have saved me in the past. Understand it, come up with strategies, forgive myself, love myself – love my body for being so darned efficient and clever at fat storage. (wagon trail to California in the 1800s? Oh yeah, I would have made it)

So, my choices:

Keep going and live my life as a normal-sized, healthy, vibrant woman.

Stop and return to depression, no energy, no cute clothes, hating to look at myself in the shower, hiding from cameras (there is a period of about 10 years where there are less than 10 pictures of me), dreading seeing family/old friends…

Sure there are a few bobbles here and there (I do occasionally feel whiney, but it’s pretty rarely), but my ultimate goal to KEEP GOING has never faltered, not for an instant.

I keep going because:

I made a commitment to myself.
I made a commitment to God.
I made a commitment to my family.
I hate being super morbidly obese
I love being 2 pounds from "normal"
I love it when my husband (and his friends) tell me/him how great I look.
I hate wearing super-sized Wal-Mart stretch pants 24/7.
I love buying on sale cute little short sets in a size 10.

You want me to keep going? LOL There are so many wonderful reasons I keep going to finally lose this weight and get healthy. My only regret is it took me SOOOO long to finally commit.

I keep going because I despised being overweight. HATED it. It kept me from doing so much. I was a miserable, underutilized, anxiety ridden, depressed, inactive, mope-y person, leading a very sedentary and unproductive life. I had had enough of it.

I keep going now, because I LOVE this new life I've created for myself. Life is better for me now that I'm a normal weight. UNDERSTATEMENT.

I keep going because I realized that I have a choice. I don't have to be fat if I don't want to be. And I don't want to be. I keep going because I refuse to go back to that person I mentioned above. No way on earth do I ever want to go back there. Not for any money in the world.

I keep going because I have more fun now. And more joy. And a LOT more clothes. And they're all GORGEOUS. And sexy and feminine.

I keep going because I love all the energy I have. I keep going because I no longer lay awake at night planning my funeral.

I keep going because my family needs me. I keep going because I want to give myself the best chance at the best and longest life possible.

I keep going because I now look forward to each and every day, instead of dreading them.

I keep going, oh I could really keep going. ;)

What keeps me going?
I've gained and lost and regained and relost and regained so MANY times, that I sometimes wonder IF this WILL be different! But I think it will because this is what I do:

I have taken responsibility for my right hand, which holds my fork. I spent alot of years in the "chicken and egg" psychology of weight loss -- you know, trying to understand WHY I am fat, and trying to analyze all of the factors involved -- social, educational, cultural, psychological, financial, genetic, and so on. And if I slipped and regained, well, it was because of the food ads on tv, or because I had alot of social events, or because the supermarkets had food that was bad for me, or because I turn to food emotionally, or because I had low self-esteem, or because my parents were fat, or because...well, you know...And then I just got SICK of this never-ending circle and said "ENOUGH". I am old enough to take responsibility for what I eat. There aren't enough hours in the DAY to sort this stuff out permanently, and honestly, does it really matter? The government, the corporations, the grocery stores don't care about me, just my consumer dollar. My genetics are what they are -- I can't change them. Society and its messages are what they are and I won't be changing them anytime soon. So why try to sort out the whys when I could spend my time more productively elsewheres. So I just did the unthinkable. I said "ENOUGH" and started an eating plan. I figured that even if I didn't sort all the WHYS out, I could at least sort out what I put into my body. And maybe some of these things would sort of self-resolve, like the self-esteem issue (am I fat because I have poor self esteem? Or do I have poor self esteem because I am fat?) which has resolved immensely since I started this journey.

I have decided that WW is a great plan that fits my lifestyle and I can stick to pretty much forever. So, I account for everything I take in. I make sure I have a flexible enough regime to compensate for "feast days" (those highly defined days such as Christmas or Easter or my Anniversary) where I may eat outside of my usual routine for social or cultural reasons. This isn't cheating, but are well-planned meals that are accounted for and compensated for. And I found an exercise/activity that I LOVE -- Hot Yoga, who'd have thought THAT at 244 lbs! -- and I partake of the classes almost every single day.

MOSTLY, I decided to stop placing a value judgement on food (i.e. potatoes are bad; carrots are good) and on my actions both past and present. I don't ever term myself as "eating clean" because I don't think that what I eat is "dirty"! I don't berate myself for being large. It is what it is. And it isn't permanent. I can change it, so even if I feel discouraged, at least this is ONE thing that I can positively affect, no matter how slowly...And I don't berate myself if I slip off my plan. I forgive myself and get right back on. The refusal to indulge in self-loathing has really helped me stay on track, too. If I'm not perfect, oh well. I'll do better tomorrow. And WW is flexible enough to let me do this quite easily.

And finally (bored yet?), the numbers on the scale are just that -- numbers that reflect trends, and not a judgement in and of itself. I weigh myself once a week, I let go of the daily fluctuations, I stopped putting weight loss and time-frames together (you know -- 1.5 lbs per week means 6 lbs per month so by DECEMBER I'll be x pounds) because I have finally accepted that weight loss is not linear. Which means that I have freed myself from the (hourly) emotional ups and downs that measuring my daily weight fluctuations had created. My DH thanks me for this!

Just a few rambling thoughts, here...hope some of it is useful! And of course, this is just my personal experience, and not a judgement of any other plan or path...

:)

Kira

I just reread your post and I am seeing this final question, which I wanted to address.

I am sticking to it because I DECIDED to. That may sound a bit simplified, but that is the bottom line. I decided to lose the weight and I was/am WILLING to do what it takes. Upon making the decision to lose the weight, I then made the commitment to do whatever it takes and never go back. I overhauled my life. I re-invented myself so to speak. Because I decided to and I was willing to. And it's the best darn decision I've ever made. :)

Great Thread Ladies!!

This is really what I need lately- I feel so blah about it all.... I have been half-*ssing my counting of points though I have kept up in my exercise- I have still been losing but small amounts- which I know are a direct cause to my poor tracking and choices- (chinese!) Ugh-

I have been looking for something inspirational and I must say this is a great thread to read when looking for something more to push in the right direction!

Lori Bell- OMG!! You Rock!! Your stats are absolutely amazing! Your are such an inspiration- Have you posted any before and after pics recently? I would love to check them out if you have!

Kiramira...Awesome post. I especially loved what you said about the time spent analyzing why you were fat...I did that too...knowing there were not obvious health reasons I was overweight should have been my only concern. It is so sad to think of how much time I spent just trying to figure out why I was fat....well duh, because I ate like a Nebraska Cornhusker defencive tackle...without daily practice, that's why....period.

akacutie...thanks for the kudos. I plan on posting some current before and after pictures when I make it to my goal...when I figure out what that is. ;)

God what a horrible day it was when I realized that at 244lbs I was linebacker size...and even worse when I saw a Discovery Channel program on the Silverback Gorilla and realized that the shape and form of my shoulders, back and bum looked JUST LIKE THAT of a walking dominant MALE gorilla from behind (without all the hair, of course hahahaha!)...
keep up the AWESOME work, Ms Lori Bell!!! You are truly inspiring!
:hug:
Kira

OMG, I felt the SAME EXACT way. It's amazing that some of us have so many similiarities, even down to thoughts like this.

I remember thinking that I weigh more then NFL linebackers. Only they're men and I'm a woman. And they're ummmm, a bit taller then 5 foot nothing. Heck I weighed more then NBA players and they're almost 7 feet tall. It boggled my mind at one point, how I could let myself get so heavy. But I too had had enough of trying to figure out the how's and the whys. It was time. It was time to to just "do".

I stick with it because I love what my body can do now. I love outdoor activities, and would be outside EVERY day hiking, biking, running, kayaking .... if I could (pesky job). When I was heavier, not only were these activities much more difficult, I started being afraid to try to do things because I didn't believe I could any more. I felt - old.

Now I can do ANYTHING! I can do 15 mile day hikes to the mountain top and back, I can kayak 10 miles with ease, I can run half marathons. I'm in the best shape of my life and I am NOT old!! Weight loss for me was never about appearance, although that's a nice ancillary benefit. It was always about health and fitness and being able to DO the things I love, for as long as I can possibly manage. Yes I have to watch what I eat, work out religiously, monitor my weight - forever. But to feel the way I do now is worth everything.

I turn 50 this fall. I'm looking forward to it because I graduate to a new age group for running events, and I have a better chance of winning medals!! :D

Your whole post was good, but I wanted to quote this part again because it's so true. For me, the refusal to participate in self-loathing has been key. KEY. I still sometimes get down, but then I just continue on. Because what's my alternative? Give up and eat whatever, whenever I want? Isn't that what got me up to 245 pounds and feeling sick and old all the time? No, thanks!

I had a weekend that some might consider bad. I was over on calories both days, one day significantly so. But that day is gone now, in the past, never to be seen again. And I refuse to tell myself that I'm horrible, lazy, weak, or disgusting simply because I had a chicken enchilada and a beer. Sunday afternoon it was right back on plan, keep moving forward. Because eventually I'll get there.

Like you, I also have removed time limitations from my weight-loss goals. Oh sure, in the back of my mind I know that my 1.3 pounds per week average means that I could be pretty hot by Christmas but if I'm NOT hot by Christmas, then I'll be hot next spring. In the scheme of things, it doesn't matter if I reach my goal in 12 months versus 15 months.

MBN, hats off to you! Not many people your age are willing to make those sacrifices and changes, as they think the window of opportunity has passed them by.

I, too, was afraid to try. I seriously thought I would be 30-40 lbs overweight for the rest of my life. My blood pressure was high, then it started running very, very low. Considering I did not EVER take in any physical activity should have been a clue. Hypo, by definition will slow you down. So I thought maybe, just maybe if ****I**** take the initiative and do what is in my power to speed up the metabolism, maybe my HR, BP and weight will fall into place. I read, and read and read some more. So I decided to quit reading, quit dwelling on OTHER people and their situations, and the horror stories, quit listening to my doctor even, who told me weight loss would be close to impossible. And just look at any message board concerning hypothyroidism: the prognosis for weight loss is bleak at best!

Seriously, I was like the little boy from "The Secret Garden" so frail to do this or that for fear that it would worsen my condition. It was time for the wallowing in self-pity to stop. I am only 34!

My husband said last night that over the past three weeks that sure, he has noticed the weight loss but even more, he has noticed my determination, my confidence and he says I am just "glowing". He is starting to see the inner strength I had when we met 16 years ago.

I am no longer laying here playing dead due to some disease that may or may not be hindering my progress. I am just chugging along, doing what has been scientfically proven to work (calories in/calories out with lots of exercise and healthy food choices) and it IS working.

With hypothyroidism, there are only and handful of role models who have beat the odds of maintaining healthy weight. Jillian Michaels and Karolina Kurkova (Victoria Secrets model) are a couple that stand out in my mind. I am sure there are normal, everyday people that I don't know of. If they can beat this illness, so can I. Once I changed my mindset on this illness and got moving, I swear I don't come close to HALF as fatigued and achey.

Yahhh, Windchime! Removing self-loathing from the equation is so FREEING!!
Keep on chugging along!!!!
Kira
:hug:

I'm not where I need to be yet (not close) but I have now lost more weight than I've ever lost before. I did not feel ANY motivation when I started. I just started eating better. I've always waited for the EMOTION called motivation to get me going before. But it's an emotion- fickle and fleeting.

When I *started* this time the goal was to do everything the opposite of how I'd done it before. I would school myself to accept SMALL changes with the hope that they'd add up to weight loss over time. Even if they didn't, at least I'd be healthier. I didn't start exercising for 4 months. It's the food that's my downfall and I wanted to learn how to focus on that.

I break everything down to 12 week 'sessions' and don't look too much at the bigger goal beyond that. I just focus on getting to the end of the session- committing for just that amount of time only. I'm now on my 4th session. Yes, my weight is coming off SLLOOOOWWW. That's totally okay. It's trying to 'get the weight off as quickly as possible' that has caused me and many others to fail countless times in the past. By disciplining myself to accept a less than perfect effort I'm getting closer to achieving my goals than I ever did by trying to lose weight perfectly. Funny how that works.

You all are amazing! I so appreciate hearing your thoughts. The ideas that particularly stand out to me are around:
1) Stopping self-loathing when you make a mistake or get off plan
2) Making gradual changes
3) Not holding yourself to a set schedule/timeframe for weight loss
I think I have often made the typical mistakes of expecting it all to come off a heck of a lot quicker than it went on, making overly drastic changes that few could stick with (exercising 3 hrs/day, etc.), and giving up totally and eating the whole bag of Doritos if I got off plan at all or didn't see the scale move the way I expected.

I love hearing about how great you all feel now that you're on your way. That saying that 'nothing tastes as good as looking good feels' seems to sum it up.

You guys are the best!

MBN - what a role model you are! I can't wait to be able to run faster and longer as I get lighter and fitter.

Bindersbee - love the 12-week idea - that seems easier to tackle than everything at once

Windchime - I'm going to try to follow your no self-loathing example : )

Niecy - you rock - way to go!

Rockinrobin - like the just do it - don't worry about why approach...

Kiramira - the gorilla image just cracked me up : ) And I liked your idea about forgiving yourself when you goof.

Loribell - what an accomplishment - I'm so impressed by your progress!

Vermontmom - love the emphasis on the long and healthy life - great priorities

Glory - no such thing as TMI : ) Thanks for the encouraging thoughts from an expert!!

jajabee - what's a GWF armband? Does it monitor heartrate and calories? Sounds like you've found what works for you - congrats!

chickiegirl - totally agree on the not wanting to be 'bogged down' by weight

Thighsbegone - like the emphasis on accountability and community

I like what you said rockinrobin especially this one:

I keep going because I despised being overweight. HATED it. It kept me from doing so much. I was a miserable, underutilized, anxiety ridden, depressed, inactive, mope-y person, leading a very sedentary and unproductive life. I had had enough of it.