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Old 05-11-2009, 12:54 PM   #1
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Red face Normal eating family


I'm new to this forum and was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to deal with family dinners when on a weight loss plan. Last night, I went to a restaurant with my family for mother's day. I ate grilled chicken with steamed vegetables while they enjoyed steak and fries and other much more calorie-rich food. After the meal, they all ordered desert while I sat it out, trying very very hard not to cave in (I love sweets). I made it through the night but if anyone has any tips on how to resist while others indulge, they would be greatly appreciated!!

Thank you!
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:16 PM   #2
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MAke them feel guilty

Just kidding. I hate that too. I hate sitting there while everyone is devouring a big bowl of something. I have left the room before. Once at a restaurant I went outside during the 3rd bottle of wine and walked around. Eventually they'll start being a little respectful of your feelings or they won't. I guess it depends on you and if you hold your ground around them.
Highest weight - 333 pounds. Lost 193 pounds by calorie counting in 2008/09. Regained 73 pounds in the last 7 years and am working on getting back to a normal BMI.
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:24 PM   #3
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Sorry, that should not be normal eating for anyone's family. Are they of normal weight? That being said, we are not the food police so we can't really say much of anything to them. Concentrate on how healthy you are becoming and how good you will look at goal. I've gotten so just thinking about a meal like that turns me off.

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137

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Old 05-11-2009, 01:32 PM   #4
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Welcome to 3FC. I'm sure alot here can relate. My family goes out to eat alot on the weekends, and I usually stick to ordering salads or whatever is healthy for now. Hopefully one day when going out to eat I can order dinners I really really want and just eat half and not have to worry about going over my calories so much then.

Depending on the food, if it's like fries or something that is hard to resist, I can't wait to get out of the restaurant but then I'll be craving the fries or whatever for awhile anyway.

Wanted to add... get the calorie counts for places your family usually eats or foods they make, maybe you can fit a small amount into your plan. With desserts, maybe you can share with someone and just take a couple of bites and order coffee or tea while they eat plates of desserts.

Last edited by ringmaster; 05-11-2009 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:44 PM   #5
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I try to plan in advance if I know where we are going, a lot of steak places have a small steak that is a good calorie range. I do a lot of steamed veggies without butter or sauce. I also have lately started ordering coffee or hot tea during dessert. The beverage fills me up, and keeps my hands busy. I've also done the sharing dessert thing - though, DH looks at me like I'm crazy when I suggest it. He is now trying to lose weight, so I think next time I suggest it he will be more on board.

ETA - I should add, when I do the coffee I get a coffee with just milk, nonfat if they have it, and 1 tsp of sugar, not one of the fancy coffee drinks a lot of places sell. I used to get those without thinking about it, thought "hey, coffee isn't too bad" then I realized how many calories were in them! Could have had some dessert for the calorie count of some of those drinks!
I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 05-11-2009 at 01:46 PM.
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:56 PM   #6
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If possible, I'll look up the restaurant's nutritional information online before we go, and pre-select my entree. Then when I get there, I don't even have to look at the menu and try to make choices on the spot. I just don't even considering going there. If there is an "on plan" dessert choice like fresh fruit (without sugary syrup), then I might do that. But most of the time, I'll refrain from dessert altogether, knowing that I have my on-plan sweet at home, waiting for me. So I'm not deprived of dessert, just choosing to have it later!! Frankly, its easier for me to do that, than to try to have "just a little" and not want more ... plus having to guess how many calories were in that bite or two!

It sounds like you did great, though!! Once you've successfully navigated the "eating out" pitfalls a few times, I do think it gets easier.
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:58 PM   #7
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I usually see if they have like a bowl of fruit or something I can have for dessert.

The thing with my family is since my diet we've overall been eating healthier and eating out less, maybe just don't go out with them if they insist on still going to eat out. It may suck for a while but at least you won't be piling on extra calories.
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Old 05-11-2009, 04:47 PM   #8
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If your family won't think it too rude, i used to pull out my knitting. it kept my hands busy...

the other thing that helps me is to know that i am choosing not to have dessert. and that the dessert/steak/fries will still be there and that at another time i can alway choose to have those choices if it is what i really want. it is not always easy but i know that when i am maintaining i will be able to have the occasional treat and that if it is what i really want i will be able to have it then.

The other strategy i've used particularly at parties, etc. is prearranging to share with my partner. That way when they start passing around the cake. i say it looks so delicious, we are going to share a piece. Then i can have 2 bites and he wolfs down the rest...
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Old 05-11-2009, 05:08 PM   #9
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Thank you all so much for the tips!!
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Old 05-11-2009, 05:31 PM   #10
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We try to avoid restaurants now for a lot of reasons. My oldest has food allergies, it's dang expensive, and the choices are unhealthy most of the time.

When we do go my husband usually orders grilled fish so it's not an issue and we get something healthy for the kids like chicken and steamed veggies. They don't know any different so they like it .

Coffee during desert is something I do as well. It's yummy, low cal, and gives me something to do.

Best of luck to you!
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Last edited by ValRock; 05-11-2009 at 05:31 PM.
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Old 05-11-2009, 05:54 PM   #11
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Last night I went out with some of my family which was nice. My grandma, my mom, a few aunts, my uncle and my cousin who I don't get to see too often. My aunt eats more strict then I do. Nobody got dessert but I did have a big bar of dark chocolate in my purse I considered pulling out to share. You could do something like that, if you like dark chocolate.
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