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-   -   Husband is NOT helping. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/168858-husband-not-helping.html)

Callie1983 04-09-2009 01:29 PM

Husband is NOT helping.
Okay, here's the good news... I hit the 20 pound mark!! I was SO excited... then I called my husband. Here's the conversation, "Guess what I've now lost 20 pounds exactly!" Husband - "Okay." Me - Okay?" Husband - "That's good." (And SO not in an enthusiastic tone) Me - "Well I was excited and thought I'd call my husband and share my excitement." Him "Thanks." Me "Well I guess I'll let you get back to work." Him "Okay." Bye.
It's so frustrating... this is a milestone I've been looking so forward to and was SO happy until I talked to him.
I'm not sure what his problem is, but its really disheartening.

Has anyone else experienced this?

PS I love 3FC!

midwife 04-09-2009 01:33 PM

Woohoo!! Way to go on the 20 lbs lost!! :carrot:

As for DH, is it possible he was busy/distracted at the moment? I know that when I get calls at work it takes me some time to shift my attention from X to Y.

Great job on the loss!!!

glitterducky 04-09-2009 01:33 PM

My husband likes to ruin my diet, but I don't think it's on purpose. He isn't dieting and is trying to change his habits slowly. However, he works for a store and brings home bags of clearance candy.

The other day I saw some and yelled at him, and told him not to bring any home, unless he hides it from me. I don't need that temptation. I also made it a point to tell everyone he works with (because I know them too) to tell him NOT to bring any home.

I told him how I feel about his candy binges, and how I feel he is trying to ruin my diet and trying to not support me. He realized what he was doing. So maybe you should talk to your husband too...about how you feel he isn't supporting you.

He may also be jealous, if he is overweight, or thinks you're trying to lose weight to be more appealing to other guys, so he doesn't want to support you. Assure him you still madly in love with him, and that he has nothing to worry about.

kaplods 04-09-2009 01:35 PM

I think it's mostly just a guy thing - most guys don't care about weight loss, especially "numbers." So you might as well have been speaking Martian, and I've just not met many guys who can "fake" enthusiasm or interest for sometning they don't understand.

JayEll 04-09-2009 01:36 PM

Callie1983, I'm sorry to say that our weight loss is probably never going to be as exciting to others as it is to us. :dunno:

Does your husband have a weight problem? Has he ever tried to lose weight? Whether the answer is yes or no, either one could be a reason he was less than jumping up and down for you. It does NOT mean he doesn't support you.

Also, it's possible that being at work, with others around, he can't exactly start whooping. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt, and remember, you're not doing this for him or for his reaction, you're doing it for you. Don't let his response or lack of one make you go off plan...

Keep with it!

ladywinter 04-09-2009 01:43 PM

I have a husband who could care less if I weigh 1000 pounds or 100 pounds. Often to the man we are married to weight loss just isnt that big of a deal. I hear this often from friends husbands too.

I was excited when I lost my first 10lbs....and my husband wanted to go out to eat to celebrate lmao!

I also hear this from alot of men...dont know why your trying to lose weight you look good to me. Many men, imo, are not conditioned to care about their weight so it isnt such a big deal to them.

Congrats on reaching 20 pounds!

Athenawithheart 04-09-2009 01:46 PM

Bummer. Sorry your hubby wasn't more excited. 20 pounds is an accomplishment!!!

My husband would say things like, "you're losing too much; you will go find someone else when you're thin." After a couple weeks prior, of telling me I needed to lose weight. Ugh. (We're now getting divorced, but over far more serious stuff.)

Lori259 04-09-2009 01:46 PM

My hubbby is supportive but My family(sister & mother Aren't)
They have there moments of like you say above~it's pure MEANESS!
Anyways~it's your body~You need to be happy and he will show he likes you losing weight rather than say it with him being "THE HUBBY"
He will become more interested ....If ya know what I mean and ect.
He must be thrilled because people who are not very supportive are jealous so He's proboly got his on insercurties.(My hubby said he was gonna start weight lifting the other day out of the blue just to see my reaction and added since your losing all that weight Because he had a jealous moment....And he is usually supportive
As far as your hubby goes
He will get over and then be thrilled with the new improving you!!! Just give him time.
(I hope I made since sometimes I blab so much I lose track of my point LOL)
CONGRADULATIONS On 20 Lbs I bet your feeling SUPER!

Devsmama 04-09-2009 01:51 PM

Congrats on the 20lbs!!

Callie1983 04-09-2009 03:26 PM

Thanks! I think he may be a little jealous; he mentioned this morning that if he lost 20 pounds he'd be skinny... Also, he mentioned when I first started that "You're going to get all skinny and go find another man." I did assure him I would not.
And, yes, he probably couldnt really talk at work - it's been really stressful for him lately.
As for him maybe thinking I dont need to lose weight.... yeah, that's not it! He's been telling me for a while "We need to go on a diet." And he'll do things like grab my fat roll and ask "What's this?"
Lol - he's really not a bad guy... I know I may be making it sound like that... He just doesn't really think about what he says before he says it.
Anyway, Thanks so much for the encouraging words. It means so much to me!

Jacqui_D 04-09-2009 03:57 PM

:bravo: Callie!! :cp: Great job! :trampo: 20 lbs GONE!! :woohoo:

annie175 04-09-2009 04:01 PM

WOWSER, Rock on SIsta!

newleaf123 04-09-2009 04:08 PM

Congratulations on your 20lb loss!! I'm guessing your husband probably just couldn't talk at work, and will be thrilled for you when he gets home...

And even if he isn't, of course we are all THRILLED for you here!! WTG!!

I never even considered the angle of a husband feeling threatened when his wife lost weight; I could see how that could make some men concerned... All you can do is keep reassuring him...

GirlyGirlSebas 04-09-2009 04:15 PM

Congratulations! What a wonderful accomplishment!

Regarding Hubby's reaction, this would be such a typical response from my Hubby. :D Sometimes, they just don't get us, do they?

sweetandspicy 04-09-2009 04:41 PM

Bravo on the 20 pounds!! You should be proud of yourself. I understand you wanting to share your accomplishment with your Hubby but just don't worry about him not showing excitement, he will be thrilled when you reach your goal and are happier and more confident then ever.

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