Fair enough, I should note that my "friend" was an extreme example, I gave her 3-5 chances to stop her selfish ways (it was more than just fat comments), and she wouldn't - because she was just a self-absorbed person - that's who she was. So I dumped her.

Exactly... it's like a bad boyfriend. You are so caught up in the history and the bond that you can't see it for what it really is. Once you finally break free, you look back and wonder why you let it happen

I only suggest restraint here, because any situation someone describes here is always to a degree "out of context." How many "chances" a person should give someone is highly personal, and a lot of variables have to be taken into account. I had a coworker who was constantly angry at someone for being "insensitve," and constantly "dumping" friends, as she had zero tolerance for any comment that could be interpreted as an insult to her (and often it was hard to determine what she found so horrible about something someone had said) -and yet she was one of the most insensitive people I had ever met. Apparently, she had the right to tell everyone exactly what she thought, whether it was nice or not, but anything less than 100% agreement with her at all times was an unforgiveable betrayal.

Also some very otherwise wonderful people have a surprising talent for offending people. Many because they have almost no "edit" function (mine can be faulty at time). My husband is pretty bad (not as bad as his best friend, though). I could probably describe a dozen (heck probably fifty to a hundred if I gave it some thought) conversations that would inspire everyone here to shout "dump him," if I didn't tell the "rest of the story." He is constantly saying very stupid stuff, because he says what he thinks when he thinks it - and sometimes he thinks pretty stupid stuff (what can I say, I love the dumb guy, anyway). Sometimes, even after I explain it to him, he still doesn't understand why what he said could have upset anyone, because "it's the truth." He does, at least try not to make the same mistake twice - but he really doesn't have to, because he makes so many completely original ones.

And yet, he's one of the most generous, loving people on the planet. Even though we're both on disability and a fixed income ourselves, I often have to be the "bad guy" to keep him from giving away everything we own to someone less fortunate. He'll give anyone the shirt off his back (sometimes almost literally - he'll give a friend his last $5). He will do anything for me (to the point that it can be annoying to have him around), even if it isn't reasonable. I was sick yesterday, and he kept offering to run out and get anything I wanted, or make anything I wanted for meals. I finally sent him out for sugar free popsicles, just to be rid of him for a bit so I could get some rest and let him feel useful. He went to the Walmart just to get me sugar free popsicles - and when he got home with them, he apologized that they weren't the "usual" brand we bought, and promised to go out and get "the right ones," from a different store if the ones he bought weren't what I wanted (yeah I was tempted to send him out again, maybe even add a hard-to-find item to keep him gone even longer on a wild goose chase - instead I was honest, and told him the popsicles were fine and that he was starting to "bug me" with the constant checking to make sure I was ok).

Now, my husband's best friend - makes my husband's stupid comments sound brilliant. He's also a good guy - deep down - unfortunately he'll be single forever, because no woman is going to be willing to dig that deep. I tolerate him only because my husband likes him, and because he watches our cat when we go out of town - and as much of a jerk as he can be, he's the only person I can trust to pamper our cat nearly as much as we would.

She sounds veeeery insecure.
I do have one friend who, when I started losing weight, also started a diet. Of course, she was already at a pretty ideal weight. I lost and got fit and my losses were very noticable. Of course, I started out highly overweight, almost a bmi that put me at obese.

She complained to me that I start a diet (I didn't correct her-- it's a "way of eating" for my life) and everyone notices and talks about me, blahblah, and nobody even notices her 5/10 pounds?? I politely, really checked myself, reminded her we had very different starting points and that is why there were different reactions. ;)

Edited to add-- when I started running longer distances, she was clearly competitive with me and I made it clear there were NO similarities because she was SOOOOOO much faster ;) am I a diplomat or a jerk??

Thoughtlessly self-absorbed is one thing, especially in younger girls (I think at some point, myself and all my friends were like this).

Competitive in that almost-hostile way, though, that was always a big bother to me. Still, I suppose a lot of people are like that as well, to a point. Just depends on what your breaking point is.

Exactly!

I remember when I did a liquid diet 10 years ago and my sister-in-law said, "Oh no, now I'm going to be the fat wife!"

I was so stunned I had no idea what to say to her.

Some of these responses posters are AWESOME -- I want to note a few down to use myself when talking to people.

It's simple, she is just jealous. You're doing something that is considered one of the hardest things to do, you're being successful and people around you WILL be jealous. Just take it as a compliment of your hard efforts.

Having a roommate is like being in a relationship. Maybe it's time you sat her down and told her that you do not appreciate those comments. Explain it to her nicely but firmly and make sure to use "I" statements but make it clear that you are not going to tolerate it any longer.

i have a few friends like that. one of my best friends is about 115 lbs and is ALWAYS eating. seriously, always! i can't even imagine eating that much and she NEVER gains a pound. i have another friend that is just plain rude. she says things that just make me want to knock her out and she walks away like she never said a thing. i don't really like to call her a friend but i'm to nice to be rude to her. i just ignore them. my family also sometimes make comments about my weight and what i eat. my dad always does it in the nicest way possible, but my mom always screams it at me and doesn't care if it hurts my feelings. i just ignore all the bad comments and put them out of my mind. i only listen to the people that are actually trying to help me.