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Old 04-02-2009, 02:45 PM   #1
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Default Is it okay to not care occasionally or is that like self-sabatoge?

My mom had an award dinner last night for being a top producer for her work (She's a travel agent). Well, I was invited to go and we went to this very nice very expensive restaurant. They brought out appetizer samplers and at first I was going to not try an appetizer and only have an entree and no dessert, but then I thought forget it. I will probably never get to come here again (my meal itself with appetizers and desert was probably 150 dollars) and get this food so I might as well enjoy it. I tried 1 of each appetizer (there were 3), had my entree, and me and my mom each got a desert and shared so we could try different ones. I did not attempt to count the calories or anything. I know I probably ate thousands of calories, but I feel like that was a once in a lifetime experience and I would have felt wretched all night if I didn't get to enjoy myself. I'm back on track today and have planned a little more exercise for the week and better eating, as in healthier eating, no prepackaged stuff. Is this okay to do every great while or can this lead to self-sabotage?
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:50 PM   #2
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life happens. It includes meals out, birthdays, weddings, holidays, etc. Being healthy doesn't mean being perfect or denying ourselves decadence forever. It means balancing all aspects of our lives. The choices we make most of the time shape our health. An occasional dinner does not undo that. Get back to your plan. I hope you enjoyed the evening!
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:51 PM   #3
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I feel like you did the best that you could in that situation. I dont think that it is very practical to think that we will be able to count our calories for the every meal for the rest of our lives, yes we should be carefull what we eat and count when we can but this was a special occasion. Also its not like you went to overboard, you only had one of each appetizer I probably would have eaten the whole tray! ahahaha
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:52 PM   #4
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I think the key is the word you used in your question - OCCASIONALLY.

IMHO as long as you don't use one over-indulgence as an excuse to go totally off the rails, then the occasional "treat" can sometimes be what keeps us going. No-one enjoys self-deprivation - especially in a case like this where you may not have another opportunity to visit this restaurant.

I'm glad you had a great evening and shared a special occasion with your mum, and you have a healthy attitude towards making up for it by increasing your efforts in the following days.

I'm finding it a trial shopping at the moment with all the easter goodies in the shops, but I've promised myself a treat when my little one gets her eggs on easter Sunday, so I don't feel so deprived
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:53 PM   #5
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Cammie, first of all, you did not eat "thousands" of calories! No way. It sounds like you were completely sensible, and ate a very normal meal, even if it did put you over a bit on your calorie-reduced plan. It also sounds like you are being very good in getting right back on track after this meal. If you're capable (and it sounds like you are!) of planning to have a special-occasion meal every once in a while & get right back on track afterwards, that is absolutely okay! When you get into self-sabotaging is when you start to see every weekend as a "special occasion."
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:02 PM   #6
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I think incorporating real life situations occasionally into your healthy eating style will help you to succeed in the long run. Just don't make a habit of it. Keep it a rare occurrence, don't have a defeatist attitude and binge, don't beat yourself up about it, but just go back to eating as you know you should, which you did! I think you handled it very well!
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:11 PM   #7
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Cammie, as long as you go back to your normal routine afterward, there is no reason to worry about one dinner, especially if you stuck to reasonable sized portions. Remember that your body cares most about your overall pattern of eating and activity, not mere isolated incidents.

The occasional indulgence is actually part of my plan, and I allow myself to enjoy special outings like that with the understanding that it doesn't give me a license to continue eating that way after the event is over. When I go to a nice restaurant, I get what I want (including drinks and dessert) without worrying about the calories, though I make sure not to eat and drink to excess. It took me a long time to learn to stick to reasonable portion sizes with treat foods, but I've found it to be an incredibly important skill!

Don't worry too much about the dinner, just keep on keepin' on

Last edited by Ija; 04-02-2009 at 03:13 PM.
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:16 PM   #8
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I really think that one of the biggest enemies of permanent weight loss is the perfection myth. The idea that the weight loss plan should be done perfectly or not at all (Even though most of us know on a conscious level that this isn't true, we still may feel guilt and a nagging suspicion that it is when we deviate, even slightly from our plan).

I've fallen off so many diets because I thought that even the smallest of deviations from my plan was not only a mistake, but an indication that I couldn't succeed. I KNEW it wasn't true, but I still felt like a failure over even smallest deviations from plan. I had to learn to re-interpret those feelings. It's hard, because our culture tells us that if we're "dieting," we're supposed to feel guilty (sometimes REALLY guilty) if we aren't perfect in executing our plans.
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:21 PM   #9
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Did you enjoy the dinner? I think you did. Great. I am glad you had a chance to sample such good food. Throw your guilt out the window. You don't want to live your life eating only carefully portioned cottage cheese and oatmeal.
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:25 PM   #10
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I've eaten at a few high end restaurants before and they are not like some of the local dives I used to favor. The food isn't fried and piled high and dripping in grease. The ones I have been to I was actually quite disappointed how "small" a $70 entree was. At one place I was served a tiny strip of veal (probably 3 oz) 4 asparagus spears, some kind of baby pearl potatoes (a few oz max) and a few sprigs of greens with some limey juice squirted on. I figured my entree was about 15 cents a calorie...vs the local dive at 15 cents per 500 calories...lol Life is a wonderful ride. You have to take time to enjoy the finer things in life, just make sure when you do, it needs to be WELL worth it, and only on truly special occasions! You did good, don't feel defeated.
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:27 PM   #11
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I agree with jacqui - you have to live your life - remember it's not prison, it's a complete lifestyle change and food is part of life.


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Old 04-02-2009, 03:30 PM   #12
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i think it's ok "once in a great while" the next few days eat real clean an well, excersize a little more, and you will have those calories worked off in a jiffy. Sounds like you had a great time!
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:21 PM   #13
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Sounds to me like you picked the perfect opportunity to indulge in a splurge.

I mean, it wasn't like it was some greasy all you can eat buffet. But a fine and elegant restaurant in which your mom was being honored. Opportunities like that don't come around very often.
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:33 PM   #14
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Sounds like you handled it well, and I agree it doesn't sound like 1000s of calories. Since it was once in a blue moon opportunity, no big deal.

I think it's good to discuss when should we splurge and when should we hold back. Since doing it too often is not a good idea. Do we splurge on holidays, when we are eating as a guest at someone else's home? When is it being rude not eating everything given to us?
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Old 04-02-2009, 04:39 PM   #15
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It just depends on you, and how you handle it. Some people can go totally wild every so often and get right back on plan the next day, and continue for months without deviating. Others fall entirely off the wagon...the whole "I screwed up...I'll try again another time" mentality.

I'm not sure what side I fall on, so I just stick to the plan.

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