Originally Posted by kaplods (Post 2681015)

Some foods are evil, and we become evil when we eat those foods. Some foods are virtuous, and we become virtuous by eating those foods.

Sounds irrational, doesn't it? Then why is it ever so easy to believe?

Food is neither good nor evil. In fact, there is even no such thing (in a vaccuum) as healthy food either. Now of course food can be healthy - but no one food is, because any food can become an unhealthy food, if is eaten to the exclusion of other healthy foods. It's all got to be taken in the wider context.

That's difficult though, because we're taught to think of food in a way we know is untrue (yet it's taught so effectively, that we suspect it MUST be true) - food (at least anything that tastes good) must be evil, after all we talk about food as if it were Sinfully delicious -decadent - indulgent - we talk of "being good" when being on our food plan, and "being bad," when eat something off plan (even just a tiny bit).

How do we get over those feelings? We reteach ourselves - we act as though we have two minds or personalities (because we do - at least two), and we have to make sure that the strongest part of ourselves acts as parent-teacher-best friend to the weaker and misguided parts.

I've been working on this whole weight management process since I was five years old (I turned 43 last week), and I'm finally getting pretty good at taking the "evil" and even the "naughty," and all of the other nasty judgements out of the entire weight and food issues. Weight and health management are skills - handy skills to have, but I don't have to wrap my self-worth and my conscience up in them, unless I choose to. When I know I'm mistaken in my thinking, I can tell myself so and move on.

The biggest problem with the food guilt cycle is that it tends to be a vicious one. The "customary" response to food guilt is to feel "what's the use," and to console oneself with even more "bad" foods, berate ourselves for making more bad choices, be more convinced of our unworthiness and perhaps even inability to make good ones (which we prove by making more self-destructive choices).

I'm trying to learn to avoid higher carb foods. I've been doing it for over a year now, and having mixed success (I'd say I fail more than I succeed, but that's obviously not true, because I'm succeeding enough to have lost 66 lbs, about 46 of them in the last 12 to 16 months). Pretty slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

In no other time in my life would I have considered 46 lbs in a year "success" - I would have called it pitiful - failure even, but if I'm going to use that definition, I plan on failing my way to my goal weight.

I see weight management, more like learning to play the piano. If I choose not to learn - or to stop learning, I won't be a bad person. I may never be a concert pianist (and that's ok, too). I've failed in the past because I didn't use methods that were successful for me, not because I was stupid or bad. It doesn't matter that I'm a slower learner than many people - and it doesn't even matter that I'm a slower learner than I was in my youth, what matters now is gaining the skill I want to have.

I think one of the reasons weight loss attempts are so often abandoned, is because we, if we follow the traditional path, make the process so miserable that no sane person can handle the prolonged agony. If you make the process pleasant, enjoyable, even fun - a way you are pampering (not punishing) yourself, there's no reason to dread the process.

A turning point for me was my doctor pointing out that even my slow weight loss puts me at the "head of the pack," if weight loss were to be compared to a race. Most people give in to the frustration and quit, so just staying in the race means you're succeeding. I've maintained my first 20 lb loss for three years - so I've been on a maintaining or losing "streak" for three years, even though it took me another two years to lose pound number 21. Still, while I can always find the dark cloud, the silver lining is still there. Ignoring the actual numbers and rate of loss, three years without a significant weight gain is an amazing "record" for me. I can lose sight of that easily, if I let myself fall into the traditional pattern of looking at the worst possible side of things.

All I can say, is talk to yourself. Tell yourself (over and over if necessary) what you know is true and want to believe. Eventually, you will believe it, and it will open a whole new world for you. One in which you're seeing the progress, not the failure in the skills you are gaining.