You tell someone that you lost weight, even if it’s a small amount like 10 lbs, and their response is: “Oh? I bet you feel much better!”.
I don’t get this response at all. I’ve lost about 15 lbs thus far, and have told a few people, and I got that response. Before I worked out, I felt fine. It’s not like I was on my death bed, could barely move or would get so winded from walking a few steps. I mean…is this a stereotype of overweight people, that they all feel sluggish, lazy and just plain “bad?” I felt find before I lost weight. I feel fine now… And I will continue to feel fine.
I don't know, I guess it varies from person to person. When I was at my highest weight of 333+ pounds I felt TERRIBLE. I did get winded, my knees, feet, ankles, back, neck and chest (acid reflux) hurt. I felt MUCH better within the first week just from not going to bed with my stomach so stuffed that I would wake in the middle of the night with heart palpitations from the GERD. Most extremely overweight people I know are also suffering in some way, shape or form. So, yea, maybe people just expect you to feel better because most (or I should say many) obese people have some sort of health problem. You are a very lucky one to not have suffered from obesity related problems.
Yes, I have had this response, and I don't mind it at all. I think people generally make it for two reasons.
Firstly, saying that someone "feels" a lot better seems like a more polite remark to make than saying that someone "looks" a lot better. When presented with the information that someone has lost weight, if a response is required, people may feel more comfortable making a remark that relates to health/well-being as opposed to appearance. I'd much rather someone commented that I probably felt better than looked better, simply because the implication of the latter is that I looked bad before. I think it's just a more polite response to make, and less likely to cause any offence.
Secondly, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that in general, people who are a healthy weight may feel healthier than people who are overweight. I don't think that everyone who is overweight is unenergetic, wheezing with achy joints and constant medical problems. However, I imagine that most people who experience a substantial weight loss (from overweight/obese to healthy weight) would comment that they feel healthier. I don't think it's stereotyping - being overweight in itself is a medically less healthy state than not being overweight. Perhaps 10lbs isn't enough to feel "much better" and that response is a bit exaggerated, but I don't think that someone who makes it is in any way implying that you used to be severely afflicted by weight-related ailments.
I think that sometimes, telling someone you've lost weight can leave them between a rock and a hard place - take no notice of someone else's success and it seems uncaring and insensitive, but making a big deal of it seems like you were saying they were unpleasant or unattractive in some way beforehand. It's a sensitive topic, I think, and people often don't know quite what to say.
I think many, if not most people, find it awkward to talk about weight loss. We're taught that it's such a taboo subject that people aren't sure what to say, and so often, some pretty dumb sh-, er stuff comes out of their mouth more often than not.
It's like there's no "script" for what to say, in many circumstances. I know a lot of my friends and family could have won a stupidest responses contest, and I think it's because I started talking about weight loss before it was visible on my frame. I guess it may have seemed a lot like an average-sized woman bragging about losing 5 ounces. Saying "you look great," when you don't see a difference and suspect that the person talking about the loss may know you don't, seems disingenuine. "Congratulations" would probably be the best, simplest response, but the person has started to panic and the brain doesn't go to the safest place, so something stupid comes out of their mouths.
It's not just weight loss either. People stick their foot in their mouths all of the time. At my step-FIL's funeral, my MIL was told by someone at the funeral "at least you've got your dogs to keep you company."
When people don't know what to say, they often panic and in the desire to say "something," say something rude or stupid because in the struggle to find something to say, their mouth kicks in before their brain.
These are good answers. It's kind of annoying the assumption about overweight people is that most have health problems related to their weight. I was 341 lbs when I started, 326 now...and I didn't have any health problems. I still don't. Maybe I'm just lucky, and I know there ARE people who who DO have obesity related health problems.
The other response I get when I tell people I lost weight is the defensive one: I say: I'm on this new weight loss plan, have been working hard and have made some progress. I'm really happy with my efforts thus far. Response: That's great! Well...yeah... I've been walking more. Or I need to lose weight too. Or I've been trying to drink less soda.
It's like it's like losing weight and the desire to lose weight, is so embedded in our culture, that people get defensive when you say you've lost weight. Like they have to respond to your comment by doing something equally well. It seems that losing weight is more a trend than a reason like, I want to live a long time. I want to be in shape. Etc.
I agree with what other people have said, and I think that as you lose more weight you may indeed feel better. Just because you have no health problems now, it doesn't mean you won't feel better physically by having more freedom of movement.
Maybe that doesn't take away from the annoyance of having people make assumptions... but really, if you tell people you are making an effort to lose weight, they are either going to assume that it's for looks reasons or for reasons of wanting to feel good--what other reasons are there? So they comment on the safer aspect of it, which is 'feeling good', rather than 'looking good'.
The other response I get when I tell people I lost weight is the defensive one: I say: I'm on this new weight loss plan, have been working hard and have made some progress. I'm really happy with my efforts thus far. Response: That's great! Well...yeah... I've been walking more. Or I need to lose weight too. Or I've been trying to drink less soda.
It's like it's like losing weight and the desire to lose weight, is so embedded in our culture, that people get defensive when you say you've lost weight. Like they have to respond to your comment by doing something equally well. It seems that losing weight is more a trend than a reason like, I want to live a long time. I want to be in shape. Etc.
I feel a lot better now at 20lbs less than I did 10 weeks ago. I was always working out and eating whole foods (for the most part), but was still too heavy. So, I feel better!
I felt good before having lost the weight. I didn't have any medical issues, and general day to day activities weren't a problem. I feel better now though, I sleep sounder, I have more engergy, etc. It may or may not make a difference, but it certainly has for me.
I agree with everyone else who says that people just don't know what to say. The last time that I lost a good deal of weight, I had a guy at work say "You look really good, between the weight loss and the haircut. In three years you could be in a magazine."
Another perspective is that they may assume you "feel better" not because of health/medical reasons, but because you've made a big accomplishment! I know achieving stuff always makes me "feel" awesome, and losing weight is no different. Health-wise I feel pretty much the same today as I did 3 months ago, but I "feel" 100x better cause I can tell that all my hard work is paying off, and I'm proud of myself! So yeah, if I were to say that to you (and I might, it sounds like something I'd say), then I'd be thinking more of your accomplishment than your knees and such.
I agree with JaJaBee. Since losing weight, I do feel better ... about myself.
I go to work in the morning, log onto my laptop & read the news of more layoffs, more economic turmoil, plane crashes, retailers singing the blues. I go into the break room for my cup of tea & hear people murmuring about whether there will be another layoff after the next earnings call. I worry about my whether I'll have a job, just when I'm looking to buy a place to live.
Then I walk back to my desk, and realize I feel lighter on my feet since losing weight, and that I even walk differently. I think about my resolve to go to the company's gym after the day ends. And I feel positive about something that's going on in my life. The world's a mess, but I'm working hard at taking care of myself.
So, yeah, I feel better. But not usually in the way it's meant when someone says, "I'll bet you feel better now."
Yes, the phycological benifits are huge from losing weight, that is for sure. I feel quite fine right now, (one week in) but I am sure when I start fitting into smaller clothing, I will feel even better! In a way, feeling good and being fat are not such a great thing, because you forget that you should not be this size.