That's what i meant. 18 months ago if I noticed a local resident (friend or acquaintance) had lost a lot of weight I would have somehow muscled my way into a conversation to find out the scoop...inquiring minds what to know :D Today I think I would probably still do something similar just because I am forever looking for a local weight loss buddy...but I've learned a lot these last several months (from all you awesome chickies here) and think I could manage it a bit more tactfully and gracefully than in the past with ZERO gossip!...lol

Welcome to 3FC BoJO!! I love your avatar. We have the same Pony Express statue (or one very similar) a few miles south of us..

So true junebug! I wish someone would hurry up!!! Usually the good stuff happens during harvest...that's a long way away! LOL :dizzy:

So here's a question for you Lori and Robin.....do you think it's okay for someone to ask you HOW you were able to do it?

I've not lost anything significant enough to warrant those kinds of questions myself....

Good question Jen. And I get THAT question all the time.
Now, keep in mind, I've got hindsight on my side. So of course to *me* it's obvious and I think that the answer is too. But of course, it's not and I guess it's kind of silly to think that it would be.

My now typical response is - "How do you think I lost it?" Some people pause and say nothing, really thinking that it was WLS and I get them off the hook by telling them what I did do, others immediately say, "I know - you starved yourself", or "You just shut your mouth". Which quite frankly, I DO find a little offensive. Not sure if it's the right word. I find it "offensive" because I believe that starving yourself is an unintelligent thing to do and when someone suggests that that's how I did it, well... I of course go into that nothing could be further from the truth. That I exercise often, eat very frequently - just small portions of healthy foods, throughout the day. Right there is where I usually lose them. :) So though people have no problem asking the question, but they are not really all that interested in hearing the true answer . They WANT to know that it was a magic potion or something. Not that it took hard work, determination and discipline and a complete overhaul of my life.

when I lost weight in 04 the biggest assumption was that I'd 'done Atkins' - which was the same kind of assumptions as the WLS one, certainly at that time Atkins was perceived as the easy option for fatties who couldn't cope with normal food. I'd done it by portion control and walking.
People kept saying I should write a book but as all I could think of was 'eat less, exercise more', I couldn't think how I'd expand that to a whole book.
BTW, I don't think either doing Atkins or having WLS are easy options but 'the outside world' does.

The worst comment was an older man that I say a few times a year at work meetins, who asked me if I'd had chemo therapy. Sigh.

I don't mind people asking me how I did it at all...I actually feel very blessed that I have been able to do it and want to share the awesome feeling with anyone in need of motivation...I don't however like to hear..."Everyone is saying_________ "*or* "The big rumor is you have been..._______ "(fill in the blank with a rumor/lie.) I would much rather have them ask me.

BUT as Robin said above, more times than not you get "the big question" and the person does NOT want to hear the answer. Once it's not something controversial, and just plain old, plain old grind stone work they are not interested. I've been in a few social situations where the asking person literally starts looking around for someone else to talk to in the middle of my answer and I have just stopped talking mid sentance and they never notice. These are the people who enjoy the rumor mill more than the truth I'm afraid.

That, and the truth is scary and daunting to a lot of people. I know I've felt that way before.

It's interesting to see people's faces fall as I'm telling them the "magic secret". I think there will always be hope of a weight loss magic bullet and we are doing that hope no favors by doing it the boring way. Gotta keep the dream alive :lol:

I also think those that have struggled with their weight are more understanding of the hard work and effort it takes. They've been there, tried, maybe been successful, maybe failed. Someone who has never had to lose weight just doesn't get it.

It too am from a small town and get what you are saying. The bottom line is people don't want to hear that you are eating right and exercising and doing it the right way. Why? Because everybody wants that quick fix, that magic pill to change their lives.
I've also realized that the quickest way to kill a rumor is to either ignore it OR confirm it but in a way that makes it absolutely ridiculous (EX. "Sure, not only did I have gastric bypass but I also got the lap band, had them wire my jaws shut for six months, had liposuction on my arms, tummy, legs, and face and have been donating the fat from my a$$ so women can plump out their lips. Thank you so much for noticing.")