This is a situation in which women need to learn to behave more selfishly.
(Off topic slightly: I've noticed this seems to be one of the most devastating insults that women lob at another person: "She (or he) is selfish." With men, this is not the case. The word is not as fraught for them.)
I laughed in recognition when I read this passage in Claire Messud's novel, "The Emperor's Children":
Quote:
Hunched forward over the table against the cavernous cacophony of the restaurant, the three women were playing the dessert game -- each trying to hide her sentiments about the course while simultaneously attempting to gauge those of her companions ....
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I know that thoughtful silence very well. I always experience it around women, and not just at the dessert course. I rarely experience it while dining with men.