Painful/Sad New Beginning
 

With the support of 3FC, I lost 60lbs two years ago. Last year, after 2 deaths, parental health problems, and a couple huge set backs- I gained back 30lbs. It wasn't as if the weight crept back up on me... rather... I felt like I was being pushed forward with my heels dug in. All at the same time- pushing the weight on my self and resisting. I was really down, I was hurting, I felt misunderstood, and when I cried I didn't feel any relief. I'm 22 and up until 2008, I've never had mass loss... or a year like that. I stopped doing basic care on myself and just let go and here I am now, wanting to climb out of this hole and I know I can't do that by digging.

What I want is an unwavering resolve. What I want is to have faith. Yet, every time I get knocked down I have problems getting back up. When I lost my first big chunk of weight, I didn't have a support system and I worked hard to maintain my independence. To motivate myself. For some reason this time... I really want a support system, I want my friends and family to help me or carry me... or make it easier for me. When did I get the whinny? I haven't posted here in a long time, neglecting the only constant system of (get healthy) support anywhere in my life.

Enough on what I'm not doing and what I am experiencing. I started a blog on 3FC specifically for getting myself together and working on small steps. Like making sure I take care of myself daily... and not neglecting my basic needs because I'm sad. I also plan on checking 3FC to get whatever support I can get, I've found in the past giving support has been equally helpful. And finally, I've had the most success with calorie counting through myplate and fitday and want to try that again. My faith in myself is wavering, this is a painful beginning, and I'm not quite able to stay optimistic...but I'm trying.

I'm sorry to hear of your losses-- sometimes adulthood really sucks.

Welcome back.

*hugs* Welcome back.

It is not whiney to ask for what you need. It is wisdom.

There are some things that we should do ourselves; and there are some that are accomplished much better when we have the support of others. We cannot stop you when you crave a snack, but we can be here to tell you that YOU ARE WORTH not having that snack, and YOU ARE !!!

Hang on, Reddalice.

Welcome back! *hug*

Sounds like you've had a lot of stress and crap this year. But maybe the silver lining is you learning to take care of yourself through it all. That's the kind of attitude that can carry you through!

I know it won't be easy, but I think you're right to turn to 3fc for support!

Welcome back you have the made the first step. I wish you luck, many of us have had setbacks , so we understand where you are coming from. You can do it, this is a great place for support. Sometimes friends and family fail to do that, but you will always get support here.

You've had quite the tough year. Not easy. I'm sorry to hear of it.

I am glad though that you've turned to 3FC for support. We're DEFINITELY here for you.

You've lost weight before, you CAN do it again. You know what needs to be done, the putting yourself first, the making yourself and your weight and your HEALTH a number one priority. I think you'll feel much better when you start to implement the changes that need to occur. You'll get into that all important groove.

Make that commitment - to yourself. You and it are so very worth it.

And stick around. It really, REALLY helps.:hug:

Welcome back, Reddalice. Asking for help takes courage. I think you've got the right attitude in terms of making small steps... if you can't be optimistic right now thinking in the long term, then maybe you can be optimistic about today, or the moment. I hope you find the support you need here! I think you will.

Wow... I was surprised when I opened the thread, how much each post touched me. Especially Rockinrobin (I remember when you hit 100lbs gone!) and futuresurferchick. I'm trying to be in the moment and will make an effort to be present and not dwell.

My Aunt was the light of my family's world. I fancied her one of the best humans on the planet, the most kind, the most supportive, a person that made you feel good just to be near. Before my aunt died, she was really down, and I would say... You can't live when you are waiting for death. I can't live and be obsessed with the pain of death. I may need to see a grief counselor, but I would like to deal with this on my own and with the support of loved ones (you chicks...). I'm not that depressed, I'm pretty up and down. Really polarized and conflicting emotions.

Its also really difficult sometimes to meet my basic needs like: to eat... or not to eat too much and get sick... or shower and brush me teeth... get out of bed.... brush my hair... take time to do the things that make me feel good. OR sleep. I don't ever get gross, but I only seem to do the bare minimum. I spread myself too thin sometimes between work, school, and volunteer work that I don't always get to bed and when I do I can't sleep. So I've been making it a small daily point and writing about in here at 3FC on a blog. Today... I walked to school and listened to music, it was beautiful outside. I even made a point to eat breakfast, a healthy breakfast, and did well in school. I called in sick last night to work in the E.R. and took time to get over my cold, I got some sleep and shaved my legs. Baby steps to self care... I even plucked my eyebrows. LoL.

You are stronger than you think! I admire anyone who has the courage to pick themselves up after a fall.
Hmm you've reminded me, I need to pluck my eyebrows, I keep putting it off lol.