i'm officially the heaviest I've been in three years... with the exception of last may when i came home from a 16 day cruise (but that weight disappeared all too easily ten days later when i had my tonsils out and couldn't eat, lol)

over the last 6-8 months, i've re-gained roughly 15 pounds... a combination of stress and my 'oh, i'll lose it during band camp' or 'i can have one last ____ before i really get back on the wagon' attitude. throw in halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and the **** cookies my roommate keeps on the counter and it was probably more like a quick sprint away from the wagon than just falling off.

it didn't hit me until today that i'd been maintaining as long as I had... i was pushing the three year mark, which in my world is freaking awesome! i was down to the lowest weight i'd seen since before puberty (no joke...) as part of my maintaining, i'd thrown out all my clothes that were a bigger size than I currently wore... which means that for the last 6 months, all of my clothes have went from comfortable/loose to too tight to button (and if you get them on, don't event think about sitting down....). my almost-gone muffintop now looks like one of the giant muffins you get at dunkin donuts (and was probably created by more than a few of them...).

biggest issue however, is that unlike the last time i did this, i don't have any motivation. internal motivation, that is... obviously i have plenty of external things screaming at me. it's a huge fight right now... i'm skipping out on the gym, i'm not drinking my water... and i'm only half-way counting my calories... which means whatever little amount i'm losing isn't enough to motivate me to do better.

i just need to get out of this funk and get my head back in the game... but... but... but....

you get the picture.

I do get it. I'm there too. It sounds like you're a lot younger than me, but maybe you're learning one of the most important lessons: maintaining is for life, and it's hard to stay on course, all the time, without regaining some weight back!

I gained back 20 pounds last year from just loosening up my eating and exercising a bit less. I didn't go back to all my bad habits (that would have made the gain much worse!)

So, get ready to get back in the saddle again. Picture yourself without the muffin top, picture the healthy with all kinds of energy.... make a commitment to YOURSELF. You knew it was all worth it before, well, it still is!

And don't forget about our great maintainer's forum here at 3fc. Very helpful to talk to others who are in or have been in the same situation!

Ah, Sunday morning! A brand new day and a brand new week! Come up with a plan! Toss out the junk food. Schedule exercise on your calendar. Plan your meals. Fake it til you make it if you have to. You can do this!

I know how you feel. I got down to a decent weight and then gained back a good 10 to 15, and it was so easy to do, but it seems harder every time I try to start losing.

I like you have been halfway counting my calories, not being consistent with exercise, although a physical job probably keeps me in some kind of shape, I mean I have one job which has a lot of steps and you can get at least some type of exercise, but i need to gym to really boost the loss. My main problem is I feel tired and unmotivated.

I have started trying to plan more meals, and trying to do a better job with my grocery shopping, also saving about 50 a week. I try to make sure I have healthy carbs, salads and protein like eggs and chicken. I also bought a few shakes and lean cusine which seem to be helpful. Its tough when your also working against outside forces. My stepson brought these buttery brownie mix baked goods that were made with strawberry quick, lots of butter and sugar, I had one and don't want any more.

Can you get your roommate on board to help? Ask her/him to support you in your attempts at being more healthy, like to please keep the junk food somewhere else! It can't hurt to ask. Sorry you are having trouble with motivation. Winter is a tough season for it too, so hopefully when the weather turns it will get easier.

I too have trouble with motivation. Sadly I have no partner to come workout with me, so unfortunately it just doesn't get done. I feel bad about it. Most of my problem I blame on an awful depression I've been in for the past few months. If this keeps up, I may need to go see a professional. Anyway, best of luck to you. I hope you can find it in yourself to get motivated again. Maintaining is hard work.

Heather: I only just stumbled onto the maintainers section of the site a day or so ago and wish i had noticed it sooner! It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one that's been there...

Bluebird: I would love nothing more than to get my roommate on board... but sadly, I'm the one in this house that has to be the good example... she's easily 100lbs overweight and seems to have given up on being healthy despite numerous health problems... though I am going to ask her to re-locate the cookies... they're driving me nuts, I literally have no control over them.

In good news, I did something tonight I've never done before - I took 'before' pictures. I've been on a cleaning/re-arranging/re-organizing kick lately and while I was working on my bedroom, I kept walking past my newly-moved full-length mirror and getting more and more disgusted with what I was seeing. Also during my cleaning, I discovered my drawer FULL of bathing suits from my cruise last year... one thing lead to another and I was taking pictures in my regular clothes and in the bathing suits... I was still frustrated when I saw the pictures, but the odd thing was, I wasn't as disgusted as I thought I would be. I realized that although I'm not happy with my body the way it is... I'm only about 10-15lbs from being at a place where I will be... and now I'll be able to look back at today and remember what it felt like.

In other good news... I got off my butt and did a full set of abs and arms tonight! yay!

Thanks for your comments ladies!

It took me a long time to learn this lesson/concept. It is why I always failed in the past.

I dieted and then when I lost a little I was done and went back to the way I always was. I ALWAYS gained it back and then some.

I understand now... it is a life change. You literally have to change the way you think.