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-   -   Finally told hubby my weight! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/163183-finally-told-hubby-my-weight.html)

archychick 01-31-2009 01:21 AM

Finally told hubby my weight!
 
You got it right. You all knew the number before he did! lol I haven't told him my actual weight in two years! He never asked and as a fattie that has been losing weight slow and steady this past year (as he encroached on 40) he has always been kind about it regardless of my size as I him. He also hasn't rubbed my nose in the fact that he is still a bit chubby, but looking damned good! He encourages, sure - we both do when we're dieting.

Tonight as I typed to you he asked. I didn't want to tell him. I said, "you can see that I'm currently a fattyboombaladie". lol Still he wanted to know the number. When I told him he didn't say anything, just looked suprised with his eyes. UGH! THAT'S why I didn't want to tell him! He claims differently, but I caught him!

Now I feel 'outted', ashamed and naked - and right now I don't look so hot naked. Maybe this is what I needed to shake me up. Sigh. Anyone with a similar situation?

mariamherrera 01-31-2009 01:28 AM

yeah the first two years of my marriage I wouldnt tell my husband my weight I'd give and estimate.. like 50lbs away from it..lol) and finally two years ago I new I had either just crossed over into the 300's or was about to.. I coudl tell he msut have knew I was getting close too... he had also gained a ton of weight- he said I'll weigh in in front of you if you do for me... it was the hardest thing I could have ever done .. and i had indeed crossed over into the 300's it was a horrible day and he "tried" to be nice and supportive- but I could tell he was dissapointed in me for getting that big... so glad I'm not in the 300's anymore! and he's super proud ofm e for the weight I've lost!

archychick 01-31-2009 01:33 AM

Yes, you're doing GREAT! But how do you look him in the eye after he 'knows'. lol I know there are a LOT worse things that could happen in a marriage, but right now I feel so... :dunno:

nelie 01-31-2009 08:39 AM

I told my husband about a year ago, we had been married for about a year. Of course this is after I had lost 150 lbs and I told him I lost 150 lbs too (well he knew about it along the way, we started dating when I was 290, he knew me when I was 360)

LynseyLikes2Lose 01-31-2009 08:58 AM

My husband doesn't know. I'll tell him when I get to 150. And he'll know I lost a little over 50 pounds so he can do the math then.

TJFitnessDiva 01-31-2009 09:17 AM

I told my DH the day I started WW.....it was hard but I needed help in being held accountable & since I told him it made me more determined to be on plan.

If you want to know why he looked at you like that then I'd just ask but if not try to get over it :) Remember, you are your own worst critic & he might not have even been thinking what you thought he was, ya know? Besides he's a guy and usually they don't dwell on things like numbers!

CountingDown 01-31-2009 09:20 AM

I told DH when I started this journey. He told me his as well. It is what it is. Someone else knowing doesn't change the number. I actually think it helped me a lot to tell him because it was then out in the open. I could discuss my weight loss openly and celebrate every victory WITH him. I also let him know that I needed his support to make this lifestyle change. While losing weight is something one has to do for oneself, having a spouse that helps you stay on-plan, really is priceless.

He has been my biggest cheerleader along the way!

Buttercup 01-31-2009 09:38 AM

I have never told my husband my weight in 24 years of marriage even when I was thin! But he knows ballpark because I told him I want to lose over 100 pounds. I think if your husband looked funny it is because he does not see you the way you do yourself. He does not see the weight because he loves you and at first he was a bit surprised but NOT put off! It sounds like he is supportive. Hold your head up girl! You are taking steps to get healthy and have nothing to be ashamed of! We are all here for you!!!:hug:

ennay 01-31-2009 12:05 PM

I tell my husband when I weigh less than him...which I dont right now. :(

ennay 01-31-2009 12:07 PM

The surprise doesnt mean he was turned off. Most men have no idea what a woman really weighs (and they see all the headlines about 105lbs) and most women dont know what men are supposed to weigh either. I have a friend who is 6'4" and fairly athletic build. I have NO idea if he is 170 or 250 - the number just is meaningless to me because he is different from me.

LandonsBaby 01-31-2009 12:38 PM

I don't like to tell my husband...but I do anyway. Sometimes he seems surprised it's so high, other times because it's low. He has no clue. :lol:

One day he was dancing on the coffee table (he's goofy) and I told him to get down he was going to break it. He said something about me on the table. I said "you weigh 60lbs more than i do!!" He didn't believe me. Uh, hello. He actually weighs at least 66lbs more than me, if not more. And it was like I had never told him my weight. Men are silly about these things. :dizzy:

katiecron 01-31-2009 12:47 PM

just yesterday i finally broke down and admitted how much i weighed when i began my life plan (6weeks ago). i think he guessed pretty close to my weight in his head, but his body language expressed a little shock hearing it out loud. the only reason i told him is b/c i am losing weight and now do not feel too ashamed for that little 6 year mistake.

JulieJ08 01-31-2009 12:53 PM

Well, he was probably surprised because he thought you weighed more. Surely how he thinks you look is more important than what the scale says. The thing is that guys have now idea how to correlate a scale number with a woman's appearance. They are usually waaaaay off. For some reason, they'll have it in their heads that 120 is a good number. Or 110. Or 130. Whatever. And if you look good, then they assume you weigh this random number they have in their head. And really, how could they know how to guess your weight by looking at you??? They haven't weighed you daily for years ;)

hotnewspirits 01-31-2009 12:53 PM

When I weighed around my highest I was dumb and thought "oh well he's my boyfriend, I love him, I can tell him my weight. It will keep me accountable"

So I told him (it was like 168 at the time or something) and more to himself than me, or more just to try to understand what that weight meant to him, he blurted out "That's only 4 pounds less than me".

I started bawling. In his car. While we were in a traffic jam. On the way to have dinner with his mother.

I was devastated that at 5'11'' my thin, muscley boyfriend only weighed 4 pounds more than me. I could gain that much weight in less than a week if I put my mind to it! I was one horrible bingefest of a week away from weighing the same or more than my boyfriend. We don't talk about numbers any more haha.

In fact, this time I havent even really told him I've been trying to lose weight (which he's heard from me a bunch of times). I'm sure he's noticed that I've been eating better and making healthy eating requests when I go to his house (like vegetables instead of white rice), but I kind of want him to notice I've been losing weight before I sort of let him know I've been trying.

The day he makes a comment about it, I'll be on cloud 9!

JLoubug 01-31-2009 01:30 PM

I'm not telling him till I am close to 150 too. Right now there is 10-15 lbs. between our weights; he tells me his occasionally, and he isn't overweight. I know he would like me to tell him, but I can't. I think I would shock him. I am ashamed my weight got away from me. I do think he has noticed a weight loss right now, and I like the attention!


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