I am very self conscious about myself ( i used to be 175 when i met my wife). My wife doesnt understand that i am though well better yet how it feels (she is 5 '10 115) becasue she has never gained anything. I think if u tell him about what you have been through and you can relate he will be much more relaxed and would love to exercise with you.

EDIT: and for the losing the weight go all out make yourself feel happy. You have to love yourself before u can be truly happy.

OMGosh, don't ever put off your health for a man. (Or any long term goal for that matter). It will only cause major resentments down the road. The "what ifs" can drive you nuts.

Hopefully you are right and after your bf gets back into shape he'll be fine, but please don't make any long term commitments until you find this to be true. I dated an insecure man before and it sucked after a while. I couldn't go out with girlfriends, I could barely see my family. He began semi stalking me to make sure I wasn't "cheating". Wow, just thinking about it is sending my anxiety level up. It all started out with, "I don't know what you see in me". Oh, those words make my skin crawl.

My husband and I were both skinny when we started dating and after being together for 8 years we have both gained a lot of weight together. My husband def. supports and encourages me but since I have started losing weight he has gotten more insecure (he is currently not dieting or exercising) and is very insecure about his gut. I love him for him and try to tell him that. I want him to lose weight for his health and to feel better about himself but I think he looks good no matter what. It is hard though to convince someone of that if they don't feel good about themselves.