What would YOU say....
 

Now that I've hit 140 pounds, people in my small town have all of a sudden decided to notice me. And they're ALL seemingly concerned about how "fast" I've lost weight.

The rumors are that I'm anorexic, bulemic or just plain sick, and that's what's caused the weight loss. Because, I mean, heaven FORBID someone eat right and exercise to lose weight!

I caught a guy whispering to someone about me the other day, asking what was wrong with me and why was I still trying to lose weight. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say...

I need some help...next time I hear someone gossiping about me and my "sickness", what should I say?

People always need something to gossip about. It's in all of us. I would try as hard as I could to shrug it off and say to yourself...people can only hurt you if you allow them to...Yes, easier said then done sometimes. But, if you know in your heart that you are healthy and happier, screw the dumbasses who think any less of it. Do their opinions really affect your life anyways? Realize how pathetic their lives are to worry about yours and be proud of your accomplishment!!!

Small towns are tough. It is none of their business, of course, but you might try smiling real big and saying "I'm healthier than I've ever been." Sometimes people can be obnoxious. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. People are asking me when I am going to stop losing weight too and what's really funny about that is that I have not lost anything since August.

It's one thing to hear rumors (things heard through the grapevine are often twisted), but it's another to have someone make a comment RIGHT THERE next to you.

You are within your rights to turn around and say "Excuse me, do you realize you just said that aloud and I can hear you?"

A hug for you! :hug: Because people often start rumors out of jealousy and ignorance.

It's up to you whether or not to educate people who come up to you and ask about how "fast" you lost weight. But a good swift, "Gee... what personal subject of yours should we discuss next?" may set them in their place.

Try not to let it bother you. Small towns love a bit of gossip and they will soon move on to the next hot topic.

In the meantime, enjoy the success you've had so far and keep focused on your goals.

I didn't realize you've reached your goal! Well done!

Sounds like me, midwife...I haven't lost a single pound since before the holidays, yet people SWEAR I'm dropping them like crazy...

Grrrr, that can be quite annoying. I have people asking me as well "when I am going to stop" - I think the reason is that compared to my old self, I do look pretty skinny right now and because I put in a lot of exercise time, I must look quite "compact" than I would be if I was dieting, etc.
I try to ignore it; sometimes I say that I am not going by a number on the scale but by body fat percentage (most people don't have a clue about that concept so they back off) and in a few cases I actually did say that I was done (even though I am not).
But I often tell them that I am in the best shape of my entire life and that I have never been more fit (similar to what midwife was suggesting).

But, some people will always gossip - there is not much you can do about that. Don't let it bother you, as hard as it may be. :hug:

When you first start losing weight, it is less noticeable to people, so a lot of them miss that first couple of months. Then, of course, life passes fast and people are wrapped up in themselves, etc. so your weight may have appeared to come off "incredibly fast" to a lot of the people in your small town. Since I reached goal, I have gotten a lot of the same comments..."It just melted off of you!" or "I can't believe how fast you lost it!" Uh, no melting here...just a lot of burning, thank you very much. And it was not "so fast"...you just haven't seen me in a while...you didn't notice...I've had my coat on...

Anyway, rumors are rumors...people gossip about whatever they can. As you maintain a healthy weight for a while, the topic will move on to whoever is pregnant or had a fight or went crazy and ran naked down Main Street. Don't let it worry you. You worked hard. Good job!!!

Oh, about actually overhearing a conversation...that I would have commented on...and would comment on if it happens in the future. Something short, snappy and funny...but definitely pointed. "You know, I've lost weight, not my hearing...have a little class. If you are going to talk about people, do it when they aren't standing 10 feet away..." or "I'm not sick, I'm just in better shape than I was. And if you're not more careful about gossiping about me in FRONT of me, I'll show you how much better shape I'm in and how much healthier I am, by kicking your a$$. And wouldn't that be embarassing...having your a$$ kicked by a skinny girl."

I would've LOVED to have said that to the guy, Schumeany...too funny....

I know what you mean on the family front, too, Layri...

My sister is two years older, and is probably around 350 pounds. She's in the "I WANT to" stage of weight loss, but isn't ready enough to actually DO it yet. Anyway, she told me I look unhealthy, like (in her words) "A starving Ethiopian" and that I should gain weight.

I have heard those "You have lost it so fast" that is not true, they just happened to notice it now. I try to ignore those unwanted and untrue and even unkind remarks. I usually respond that I am doing if for health reasons if I feel I must respond.

Some of it is motivated by jealousy too, even if the people won't admit that in a million zillion years----why people can't be excited for someone else's success instead of putting it down is amazing....but hooray for you!!

i'm sorry you had something like that happen to you D:. Some people that don't want to face the truth, be it about someone they know or themselves, try to make it look like there's got to be some OTHER reason behind what's happening.

For me i've been lucky so far in that my family, has started to notice, some anyway, and i'm getting some encouragement from some, and not from others. It's a bit bothersome, but i try to not let it get to me, because if i do, i'm just hurting myself instead.

And i actually have a similar problem in which my manager, who is also obese, and has a worse middle area than me, is so jealous that i've been losing weight, that she finds it nice to talk about me behind my back to my best friend, and tell her "oh i just want to kill that girl, she's losing weight on me"
why? because she can't do anything about it, and it's driving her mad..lol there will always be people who talk about you no matter what the real reason is.

so what you do is, ignore the bad, take the good as encouragement for doing such an awesome job, and as long as you're happy, no one else matters. :3

I'm a bit taller then you, I got down to 155 or so three years ago - and I'll admit I was getting too skinny for my bone structure and larger shoulders. My clothes were starting to hang. I haven't followed your posts but have you tried strength training, it helps when you get a little too skinny. This is a huge change, especially for those small minded people to take... your huge weight loss. Maybe just go about your own business and don't talk about it anymore? I was a semi public figure in a small town, just learned to keep my private life a bit private. You can be friendly, but just politely change the subject and they'll get the point - perhaps. Most people can't do what you did, I'm sure there's jealousy too. To heck with them, just be happy and proud of your accomplishments.

Tell them how great you feel and how much more in shape you are than before.

True, spread the word, encourage others, be a role model. I'm doing Body for Life and that's part of the program, to encourage others to life a clean healthy life!

All the comments you've mentioned sound like projecting. People accuse you of having an eating disorder because it fills them with jealousy that you've managed to use self-control and good choices to lose weight in a sensible way.

From what I can see of your avatar, you look amazing at the moment, definitely not like a 'starving Ethiopian' but just lovely and lean and slim. Don't let anyone take away this victory from you.

I would definitely take on Schumeany's "I've lost weight, not my hearing" comment for when you next hear someone being so rude.

People are so rude. I would just ignore them. I definitely wouldn't let them diminish your success!

Oh honey...I feel for you, those small town people can sometimes be small minded. I speak from experience!! The nearest town to us has only 40 people!!! I am no where near being called anorexic yet, but I know all about the rumor mill and accusations. I just recently found out I had gastric bypass...LOL (I have not by the way, and have nothing against it for the obese person who has tried everything).

There will aways be jealous people, and judgemental people, and mean people and even nice people...The trick is to take what you like from these people and leave the rest.

You know, I wasn't a very gracious fat chick for a long time. I admit I became jealous when friends or relatives lost weight and I was sitting there like a fat toad on a log. I know I was never rude to someones face before, but I was ALWAYS curious at their methods of weight loss and *sometimes* speculated their motive. It all changed for me though when I was sitting at the local cafe having coffee one day. I over heard 2 guys talking. They were talking about a friend (who I was jealous of) who had recently worked very hard at weight watchers and lost 50 or so pounds. I knew she was doing it because she and her husband were planning a baby, and she wanted to be in good shape for her pregnancy. But these guys were ruthless, they started talking terrible lies about her. They were saying that she was trying to hook-up with another man, (not her husband)...and her motive to lose weight was to get...well...um...laid. I was just floored. I realized at that moment that most everyone who loses weight are damned if they do and damned if they don't. It was a real eye opener at the power of weight loss. It's a gift.

People always want to have a reason to justify their jealousy, fat or thin. Because you changed and you look great! They want to think that there's something wrong with you and the person that they could feel "good" hanging out with is suddenly "the cute one". (You know, like how people hang out with persons that they believe are somehow uglier than they are in order to make themselves look better?) Besides, they probably make the same fun of naturally skinny girls who really can't do anything about their weight. Don't take it to heart, but I like these snappy comments, you should try a few :)

Good advice above. Bad advice here.

Really give them something to talk about. When you overhear an inappropiate conversation about your weight, interupt the perps and say "Oh, no! You have it all wrong. It's much worse than you thought."

Give them a second to think of what that could possibly be, then say in a quiet voice "Witchcraft." Let that perculate for moment. "I've sold my soul to Lucifer." Look sad. "I'm doomed to burn in **** forever for this..." put on your happy face "But I look great now!" Laugh like you mean it.

Maybe best to make sure you're not at a church pot luck when you do this.

LOL Tealeaf!

I've had comments like this recently as well (although not as bad as it sounds like you're getting). I just patiently explain that I lost the weight very slowly, 15 pounds over the past 10 months. I did it by eating healthy and exercising. And that I feel great and I'm maintaining my weight loss.

It is partly jealously, partly paranoid concern, and partly that people just plain don't notice weight loss until you've lost a LOT of weight and they assume that you did it recently because they only just noticed it recently.

Tealeaf....wow....In my town they'd set up a stake on the downtown square and burn me...but saying that would be hilarious!!!!

OMG Annie!! That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!